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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#211

Post by shadowgovt »

xwdv wrote: post #171
kbrannigan wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. They don't bite, if you make a move with enough respect and confidence. In my opinion while convenient, they should be last resort.

I am willing to approach a woman I find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Unfortunately, most situations you come across attractive women are rarely appropriate. You end up having to go to events and things you don’t normally do just to gain exposure to women. It is a miserable reason to participate in these things when your only interest is in the women, not the event or hobby. And often the things you rea…

Back in the day, we used to call participating in new things you might not enjoy on the off chance that you would either learn something or meet somebody interesting "living."

I'm not sure when that changed, but the comments in the thread don't suggest to me it changed for the better.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#212

Post by Markoff »

maximus-decimus wrote: post #108
Markoff wrote: post #26

first sentence: "With every fetish having a dedicated subreddit and every vagina a Gwyneth Paltrow candle scent, it's hard to believe sex isn't the most popular of all the cardinal sins..." TIL sex is cardinal sin.

It's the Lust one.

That's not really sex, is it?

Or every good Christian having children is commiting sin when procreating? How do Christians procreate without sex, through the prayer and then some holy mother come to their house and bring child?

You can have lust without sex, though it's quite unplesant to have sex without lust.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#213

Post by webinvest »

orangepurple wrote: post #192
l5870uoo9y wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I agree that the matching experience is completely different for men and women, I think (many) women find them just as disappointing (and abusive) as men. Tinder pressures women to expose themselves to strangers who primarily are looking for sex and will just swipe if they aren't satisfied. Is there even anybody who wouldn't be positively affected by some limitation on sexualised content and online dating?

I completely agree with you. It can be difficult to find meaningful long term relationships on Tinder for women as well. There is no denying that. I think the chances are best with a cold approach or a warm introduction.

But many women on Tinder and Bumble aren’t looking for a relationship. When I fill in the “Looking For” parameter with “Relationship” instead of leaving it blank on Bumble, my incoming like count would drop by 40% percent. When I’d remove that parameter, my likes would go back up.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#214

Post by the_only_law »

TrackerFF wrote: post #76

People also have more options. I'm not saying that in the sense of "10% of some gender has sex with 90% the other gender due to [tinder/bumble/hinge]" , but rather that in my countries - dating apps have become the de-facto way to hook up with others. And these apps have sort of redefined that scene - mainly because women have pretty much endless choices, but also because the opposite is absolutely not true for most…

> You are exposed to people that you'd NEVER meet in the more traditional sense.

On one hand, this is great! Unfortunately, text conversations between strangers who's only cues are a handful of photos and snippet of text are miserable.

Im almost sure if I had met someone I've met in dating apps in more traditional environments, I'd at least have more friends.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#215

Post by bitshiftfaced »

spacemanmatt wrote: post #165
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

> Women tend to date up What if the 53% of men swiping right ("accept") are attempting to date "up" I think there may be some hidden assumptions you should investigate, there.

Even if you're right, I'm having trouble figuring out what conclusion I'm supposed to draw from it. Are you saying that GP's sentiment is unfounded?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#216

Post by jbverschoor »

xwdv wrote: post #171
kbrannigan wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. They don't bite, if you make a move with enough respect and confidence. In my opinion while convenient, they should be last resort.

I am willing to approach a woman I find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Unfortunately, most situations you come across attractive women are rarely appropriate. You end up having to go to events and things you don’t normally do just to gain exposure to women. It is a miserable reason to participate in these things when your only interest is in the women, not the event or hobby. And often the things you rea…

Or you’re just finding an excuse not to approach.. very few situations are inappropriate.

“Willing” even sounds that you don’t even really want to.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#217

Post by orangepurple »

mavhc wrote: post #193
orangepurple wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know. I will speculate that they will go on dates with attractive men but because the top tier of men by appearance attract so many women there is little incentive to stay in a long term relationship for the man. If this is true then there is a very narrow middle ground between the extremes which could explain why fewer meaningful relationships are formed via online dating relative to a cold approach.

So you have a grand universal theory about dating apps, but have never talked to any women about their experiences with them?

This is not true

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#218

Post by shadowgovt »

orangepurple wrote: post #199
spacemanmatt wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To be sure, it's a ridiculous way to align a community today. Evidence: The ridicule.

Disenfranchised social groups form support groups to cope.

The sad thing about this particular disenfranchised social group is the disenfranchisement is re-enforced by the group. Contrast with other support groups that help their members learn how to live a healthy and fulfilling life while coping with or managing whatever disenfranchised them.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#219

Post by wnolens »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Well not completely wrong, this is a very pessimistic take.

> You will have a much higher success rate as an average guy simply with a completely cold approach

This is where I think you're wrong.

First, I'm probably never going to cold approach in public and neither are most men I know. It's not a matter of "growing a pair", it would require a personality change or being disingenuous.

Second, cold approach is a terrible way to meet someone. It's like a tinder swipe where both parties have only 1-2 photos and no profile. Dating like this is a strict needle and haystack approach to finding a compatible partner.

> These 11 phone numbers in 4 months led to 3 dates

Before apps I was at 1-2/year. Now 1-2/week is possible, though time and energy keeps me at 1-3/month.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#220

Post by [deleted] »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

[deleted]
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