181–190 of 692 posts
Articles like this are often mostly focused on the male side of cisgendered male-female relationships. Have things not changed for women? Or how about among other types of people? Is gay sex going out of fashion too?
95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…
> Women tend to date up What if the 53% of men swiping right ("accept") are attempting to date "up" I think there may be some hidden assumptions you should investigate, there.
To throw another wrench in the process, swiping excessively to the right may further derank your profile, causing a positive feedback loop. It's an insane system.
The obesity epidemic is also a significant contributing factor. Fat reduces testosterone levels, endurance levels, makes it harder to maintain an erection, and directly steals length off the base of the penis. Combine fat men with fat women and a lot of positions are effectively untenable due to length, flexibility, and obstruction issues. Fat sex is just worth way less effort than fit sex. I know this first-hand.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
What’s the source of this?
At least for the "top 5% of men" thing, it's an oft-repeated meme on this forum. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu... In fact, it gets repeated so frequently in threads/topics like this one, that I wonder if the true origin of this "statistic" is in fact some of the... more interesting corners of Reddit/4chan.
95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…
I could spend all day listing possible culprits. It's not hard to turn this into an opportunity to take shots at the left, or the right, for any of a thousand petty reasons. But that would miss the point: stop being mean.
Stop gossiping, stop leering, stop groping, stop cajoling your partner to try that thing you read about, stop comparing people to each other, stop being a show-off, stop being "provocative", stop imputing sexual insecurity in every third argument, stop putting naked models in advertising, stop writing songs glorifying exploitation, stop cheating, stop lying, stop cat-calling, and stop making jokes about rape, literally, for fuck's sake.
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/02/hes_just_not_that_in...
>He's not retreating into porn because real women don't measure up, he's retreating into it because he doesn't measure up. [italics in original]
Earlier quoted context omitted.
What’s the source of this?
At least for the "top 5% of men" thing, it's an oft-repeated meme on this forum. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu... In fact, it gets repeated so frequently in threads/topics like this one, that I wonder if the true origin of this "statistic" is in fact some of the... more interesting corners of Reddit/4chan.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
How does an average woman find the process?
My understanding is that average women get a lot more matches and messages, but start about the same number of conversations. The filtering step just happens later
95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…
Is there even anybody who wouldn't be positively affected by some limitation on sexualised content and online dating?
a related long read: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/23121356-your-brain-o... I thought it was a decent book, seemed to cite a good number of sources, but I'm no scientician. But Gary makes a pretty rational argument -- If you're finding yourself in a certain situation[1], without a known underlying medical cause (as ruled out by a doctor), then cutting out porn never killed anyone, and anecdotally has cured m…
I am yet to read a convincing study about these supposed detrimental effects of porn. All these texts start from the assumption that it is bad without anything like a root cause analysis. For example, yes, single people tend to watch more porn. But are they single because they watch porn (demonstrating that porn is a social inhibitor)? Or do they watch more porn because they are single (in which case porn is just a w…
Actually anecdotes are data and they're one manner in which we find, for example, unexpected side effects of treatments https://vaers.hhs.gov/ . I say this not to specifically boost Gary's claims, but to encourage us to not wholesale discount anecdotes. They're too often clues to the right path to be ignored.
I found the book to be pretty clear in it's wording saying essentially (to paraphrase) If you're not having any problems, then you don'd need a cure. But if you're experiencing these symptoms then here's what has worked for 100s, and by simple rationale there's no cost or danger to trying it (eliminating porn for a time). That's the part I found particularly compelling the simple deduction of "It might work, costs nothing, has no risk, so why not try it?"