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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#121

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

How does an average woman find the process?

I don't know. I will speculate that they will go on dates with attractive men but because the top tier of men by appearance attract so many women there is little incentive to stay in a long term relationship for the man. If this is true then there is a very narrow middle ground between the extremes which could explain why fewer meaningful relationships are formed via online dating relative to a cold approach.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#122
post #20

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past. At least if you go to a bar/concert/activity you may have fun and make plutonic friends, messaging random people on a dating site seems much more depressing.

> I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past

I wonder if people are simply more selective about what they want in a partner.

Which sort of lines up with the polarisation we see in other aspects of society.

And so they go into dating with much higher expectations and less open-mindedness.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#123
post #8

Puritanism has returned.

Both that and online porn has ruined us. It is an major epidemic that is still under the radar for how massive it is, in my opinion. And it's sad, because sex is very fun and porn is a very poor approximation of the real thing.

So the problem is simultaneously porn and Puritanism?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#124
Despite all others blaming it on entertainment, porn, alcohol, working etc, I blame online dating.

The bar and amount of work needed to get into relationship (I'm not into casual sex) is just too high for great amount of people.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#125

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Apps that introduce scarcity are the best at matching. Bumble and Hinge only let you "heart" three people a day(unless you pay). Certainly as a woman there is a sense of scarcity in cold approaching. An attractive woman may have one man flirt with her and ask her on a date once per day.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#126

Obesity epidemic. I mean, when so many people are that unattractive, it's not exactly rocket science why we're having less sex. EDIT - The number of replies by people in denial that being horribly out of shape and having excessive body fat isn't related to attractiveness and sexual enjoyment is... well not surprising. Though it is indicative of how in denial our infantilizing culture is and how effectively it enables…

Let me tell you: a person with a perfect body != good sex. Sex, even soft and slowly sex, is a bit like sport. It is body work, you have to train it a bit, you have get the other persons feeling. Finally you need time, even for a quicky somewhere.

This is absolutely true, but I don't think negates the original point - the gulf between expectation and actual experience is huge

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#127
post #25

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

I recently watched a movie called 'Super Dark Times', which happens to focus on some teenage boys in the 90s.

It makes me think that the prom table would be full of nonsense, expletives, and talking about women, but isn't that what you'd normally expect?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#128
post #21

Population implosion is going to be the biggest problem of our lives. It is one of those issues that creeps up progressively (like Global Warming), but will have cataclysmic impacts. Sex is a precursor to relationships and kids, if people don't have sex... Imagine 80% of the population is elderly and retired (or want to be retired) - that is where the world is heading by the end of the century. From 2018: https://www…

But surely as societies enter the later parts of the demographic transition phases ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographic_transition ) something like that is bound to happen - you cannot have infinitely growing populations and eventually mortality will decrease (due to healthcare improvements and increased living standards) to a point where a non-insignificant part of your population will be of an advanced age.…

It's inevitable, but it's also not really something society has dealt with or addressed.

Money in a retirement fund is just an IOU. The actual labour of your retirement - the bartender serving you drinks, the doctor performing surgery, the carer taking you to the toilet - is done by young people. If there's not enough of them around, the money will very quickly inflate towards worthlessness.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#129

I'd say the explosion of mental health and anxiety is playing a huge part in it as well. My wife and I would have a child if we knew we were stable and able to look after them properly. Also, with the wars, global warming and everything else that's happening right now, why would you want to bring a child into this?

Well compared to the past we live in one of the most peaceful and prosperous times in human history one only need look at rising life expectancy to see that.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#130

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Apps that introduce scarcity are the best at matching. Bumble and Hinge only let you "heart" three people a day(unless you pay). Certainly as a woman there is a sense of scarcity in cold approaching. An attractive woman may have one man flirt with her and ask her on a date once per day.

As a woman on Bumble if you only get three chances why would you ever heart someone that wasn't the most attractive you could find?
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