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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#261

Post by neogodless »

sowbug wrote: post #257
neogodless wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Only for your edification, as your English is 1/0 (infinitely) better than my Polish. I believe you meant "lending / lent" in place of "borrowing / borrowed." We separate the words, so "to borrow" is to temporarily take the item, "to lend" is to temporarily give the item.

I have two more. I don't think any English speaker really cares about them, but they're fun. One: you "bring" things toward the speaker, and "take" them elsewhere. So "don't forget to bring your umbrella!" is incorrect. Two: "like" compares, and "as" joins independent clauses. So "I wish I could communicate like tptacek does" should be "I wish I could communicate as tptacek does." A correct use of like might be "You,…

Who is the speaker in "don't forget to bring your umbrella!"? If it's someone at the destination, would it not be correct? :)

Of course, it's often said by someone who's with you, and on their way out, so your assertion makes sense and is often correct!

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#262

Post by ars »

gernb wrote: post #124
ars wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not too late to repay them. You'll feel better, and so will they. Adjust for inflation if it's really been decades.

they are no longer alive.

Then pay their inheritors. Or use the money to loan to someone else who is in the same financial position you were in.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#263

Post by [deleted] »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #210
falcolas wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

Sure. I didn't mean $7k specifically, but rather . Why loan someone a truckload of cash you can't afford to lose? It's kind of your fault at that point. We helped my sister in law afford a down payment on a house. She still hasn't gotten a house after 6 months. Am I a bit miffed? Sure. But breaking off a friendship over a down payment seems absurd. Life happens, and people tend to take a little while to figure it out…

[deleted]

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#264

Post by SuoDuanDao »

eddsh1994 wrote: post #171

I find this very weird to speak about out loud/in public. Having advances is a personal thing and can be quite embarrassing to ask for - maybe after x years it's not as bad but still... Maybe a cultural thing?

I think it's embarrassing in the author's culture as well - but in some cultures, not repaying a loan you said you'd repay is the kind of action that warrants that kind of public embarrassment.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#265

Post by agumonkey »

dimitar wrote: post #229

I was a technically a loan shark at school, in my early teens. So I had a fairly small allowance which I mostly saved. Other kids were spending their afternoons at the malls shopping, buying cigarettes and eating fast food. So the richer kids eventually had their allowances lowered by their parents because of some sort of misbehavior, and it turned out this wasn't very effective as they started asking around to borro…

It's psychologically and socially so interesting. We often want the benefits without knowing how to repay, manage or handle things.

Also you know that in the catholic middle ages, high lending rate was immoral, it was a big topic at the time (and apparently lead to some foreign groups to become the loan guys as an escape hatch in harsh times).

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#266

Post by alexchamberlain »

jknz wrote: post #222
luxuryballs wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The risk of them not being able to pay you back and thus destroying the friendship is so high that I wouldn’t recommend this unless you are ok with losing that person as a friend OR you just give them the money without expectation of it being paid back.

The GP is unclear as to whether the loan happened before or after the friend obtained a job offer. Loaning moving expenses money to someone who just got a high-paying job offer and needs the moving money to start the job does not sound that risky.

Agreed, though you have to wonder why the company involved couldn't do this more formally?

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#267

Post by [deleted] »

jamra wrote: post #52
monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

This reminds me of the one lady from my previous job that lost her daughter. We held a fundraiser at work. She made a lot of money out of it. Then she lost her niece. It was so sad to have misery strike twice. Until she lost another niece. Then we checked up on it. Nobody had died.

[deleted]

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#268

Post by gamegoblin »

techdmn wrote: post #163
gamegoblin wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Spanish they are the same word also -- "alquilar" -- "to rent" and "to rent out". Do any linguistics geeks reading have a word I can google for this phenomenon? That is, a word that means something like "a word or phrase that is bidirectional in one language but part of a unidirectional pair in another"

Also in Minnesota! (I'm joshing you Minnesotans, it's a lovely state full of wonderful people. I'll borrow you whatever you need any time. ;-p )

I wonder if this is due to the language that whatever large immigrant populations in Minnesota spoke. I know Minnesota had a lot of Northern European immigrants, and another commenter in this thread says German doesn't distinguish borrow/lend.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#269

Post by sowbug »

neogodless wrote: post #261
sowbug wrote: post #257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have two more. I don't think any English speaker really cares about them, but they're fun. One: you "bring" things toward the speaker, and "take" them elsewhere. So "don't forget to bring your umbrella!" is incorrect. Two: "like" compares, and "as" joins independent clauses. So "I wish I could communicate like tptacek does" should be "I wish I could communicate as tptacek does." A correct use of like might be "You,…

Who is the speaker in "don't forget to bring your umbrella!"? If it's someone at the destination, would it not be correct? :) Of course, it's often said by someone who's with you, and on their way out, so your assertion makes sense and is often correct!

Yeah, I thought about that case, but I still think the grammar pedants would mark the answer wrong. Not that I was there when they invented the word "bring," but I imagine they decided the specific word for movement toward the speaker was useful to make the statement more precise. I feel like allowing "bring" here just because the speaker happened to be at the destination where the listener was planning to go would let the exception swallow the rule. (To be clear, that's already happened in common English; I'd even venture that "don't forget to take your umbrella" sounds a little bit stiff, even though it's more correct.)

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#270

Post by simplotek »

asveikau wrote: post #180
simplotek wrote: post #152

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Second, I think the "money well spent" part is that you helped her in some small amount, when it was obvious she was suffering, and you didn't expect anything in return. It seems you have been lucky enough to be living a sheltered life, without any acquaintance having tried to chat you up to their advantage. Unfortunately there are plenty of people in the real world who are either takers or outright set to exploit…

> It seems you have been lucky enough to be living a sheltered life, without any acquaintance having tried to chat you up to their advantage. I'm sorry good sir or madam, I stopped reading here. In my personal life experience with abusive people, I find it makes me want to be more in favor of unconditional help for others, not less. Though I have experienced the urge to want to help people less, which you seem stuck…

> In my personal life experience with abusive people, I find it makes me want to be more in favor of unconditional help for others, not less.

This has nothing to do with conditional or conditional help, or help at all. You feel compelled to fool yourself into believing you're not being exploited, but you're the only one believing that nonsense. You're dealt with like the mark in a con, and not exercising any common sense does not make you more pious, just an easy mark without self esteem.

The people that leech off of you are not the ones who need it the most. They are just the ones that don't mind profiting from less than ethical and moral means.

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