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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#221
post #7

Well it took me borrowing one video game to learn that lesson. "No, you must've borrowed it to someone else" when I asked. First game I bought for my own pocket money, which at time, in Poland, was a lot for a kid as it was full price title, Baldur's Gate 1 in nice box with manual and a map, and dubbed gloriously with then-radio/TV stars, hell, the narrator voice was better than original. Needless to say I was pretty…

Only for your edification, as your English is 1/0 (infinitely) better than my Polish. I believe you meant "lending / lent" in place of "borrowing / borrowed." We separate the words, so "to borrow" is to temporarily take the item, "to lend" is to temporarily give the item.

This thread is full of native English speakers using "loan" to mean "lend", so "borrow" isn't any worse.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#222
post #93

I loaned a close college friend $7000 last year. Due to life circumstances and lack of family resources, he was stuck in a rural area with no developer jobs. He was having trouble landing a remote job and I ignorantly asked why he wasn’t applying to in-person jobs on the west coast. He told me that he certainly wouldn’t be able to afford to move and I told him “don’t let that stop you”. Fronting him moving expenses w…

The risk of them not being able to pay you back and thus destroying the friendship is so high that I wouldn’t recommend this unless you are ok with losing that person as a friend OR you just give them the money without expectation of it being paid back.

The GP is unclear as to whether the loan happened before or after the friend obtained a job offer. Loaning moving expenses money to someone who just got a high-paying job offer and needs the moving money to start the job does not sound that risky.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#223
post #96

Cue all previous debts being paid back to John Carmack so that their latest business venture gets some free marketing.

Doubtful. Most people (including Mcgee) probably don't want the world to know they didn't pay back a debt for nearly 3 decades

When you say it like that I can't help but factor in inflation. Even though McGee paid the loan back, the value of it will be significantly lower today than when he borrowed it.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#224
post #84

When I was younger I learned that loaning money to friends, and then asking to be repaid, sucks. You're made to feel like you're some sort of Scrooge character. Now I either simply give whatever is asked, and make it clear I do not wish to be paid back, or just say no. Initially it seemed logical to say OK you need 100 bucks for this or that and you'll get me back. But then a month later I'd mention it and was met wi…

    Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
    For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
    And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
    This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.
    Farewell. My blessing season this in thee.
In cases where I feel I need to, I clarify it's a gift and if they really feel the need to repay later, they can pay it forward or gift back. The key is removing the guilt which is what kills friendship.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It was for the recipient. And the recipient is the one who'll be feeling the pinch (stress, anger, etc) of paying it back. $7,000 / 24 = $300 (roughly an extra car payment)

I am sure it is very nice of you that you protect your friends from making the stressful and angering mistake of becoming indebted to you, but the OP is expressing an attitude towards money that makes it sound like it is less of a mistake to be indebted to them.

So, the context of this specific thread of discussion is "If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship."

Which is bogus in my opinion - this is all discussion on why it's bogus. It's not a comment on the original post by alach11.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#226

Earlier quoted context omitted.

pożyczyć is both borrow and lend :) In English there's a difference of direction. "Kuba pożyczył moj długopis" - Jakub borrowed my pen "Kuba pożyczył mi jego długopos" - Jakub lent me his pen I'm learning Polish slowly, living in Warsaw...

Hindi has same word for yesterday and tomorrow, so you have to figure out from the tense and context which it is.

You are a howling jay! How can you go tomorrow and get back again today?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdEkm__55ik

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a difference. As the quote goes: "don't loan something you can't afford to lose". Carmack, it seems, was comfortable with not being paid back.

> Carmack, it seems, was comfortable with not being paid back. That's not how I read the tweet, at all. > It was a learning experience for me, calibrating some general people behavior. I don’t think anyone intended to not pay me back, but things often just don’t work out the way you plan

How do you read the tweet? It seems pretty clear that he knew that getting paid back wasn't very highly probable, and he learned about how recipients handle that.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#228
I learned (fortunately) early that loaning money to friends and family is a recipe for disappointment / conflict. I never loan money anymore. I will, however, gift money when I feel it is worthwhile (this is also a good litmus test). That way I cannot be disappointed when it is not paid back, only satisfied that I've seen it go to a cause I was comfortable giving to.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#229
I was a technically a loan shark at school, in my early teens.

So I had a fairly small allowance which I mostly saved. Other kids were spending their afternoons at the malls shopping, buying cigarettes and eating fast food.

So the richer kids eventually had their allowances lowered by their parents because of some sort of misbehavior, and it turned out this wasn't very effective as they started asking around to borrow money to keep up their habits.

So I gave small sums of money and since I was a very distrustful teenager I had the following terms - if you don't pay me back by Friday I'm gonna round up the sum or increase it to some other arbitrary point. Usually what happened is they would obnoxiously blow me off, but I would get a concession about increasing the interest further. I didn't want to argue over small sums so I just increased them, giving them a way out of the impasse

In a few weeks the debt would simply balloon and I would start to get angry by the way they were treating me. I learned that I wouldn't get my money by cornering them alone someplace and they would make up credible payment arrangements as soon as possible. I ended up collecting everything with several hundred percent of profit. I learned later that interest rates are calculated yearly and these terms were absolutely insane.

Even though the profits were big the sums were in fact quite small for the trouble, so I just stopped lending out the next year and honestly my market was saturated by then.

My clients probably learned much more than me. At a later time in my life I read 'Poor Economics' and worked with fintechs in an IT capacity. What my teenage self was practicing was fairly common in poor developing countries with next payday or next week loans financing many lively hoods.

I have also never taken a loan, and I'm not planning to.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#230
post #223
post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Doubtful. Most people (including Mcgee) probably don't want the world to know they didn't pay back a debt for nearly 3 decades

When you say it like that I can't help but factor in inflation. Even though McGee paid the loan back, the value of it will be significantly lower today than when he borrowed it.

However the value of Carmack is significantly higher; there's something to be said there (though not sure what exactly it would be).
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