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On Aging Alone (2021)

thewalrus.ca

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#311

Post by sbf501 »

paulsutter wrote: post #152
sbf501 wrote: post #88

I'm in my mid 50's and a number of peers from different circles have all come to the same conclusion: they want to create intentional communities of friends to age with. One couple purchased several acres of land and has two friends living in a tiny house with them. Another friend is trying to raise capital to build the type of apartments/dormitories that the majority of US city-dwellers inhabitied in the late 1880's…

Have you tried it? Perhaps rent a big house together for two weeks. I remember roomates and it wasn’t great A pedestrian neighborhood in a city can have a real sense of community. You get to know the shopkeepers, restaurants, neighbors. You might try that for contrast. More durable, less risky, hundreds to choose from. You can even invite your friends to move there

I tried co-housing for three months with 6 people my age or older. It is very different than living with people in your 20's & 30's. Everyone was way more considerate: the place was clean (we all had chores), most of us liked to cook so there were periodic house meals. The only thing I didn't like was that I had my room and that was it. I'm into hobbies and there wasn't a garage or shed, and the basement was storage.

I liked it, I had no complaints except for not enough fridge space (we had two) and not enough craft space. I would need a shed for my ceramics. I could definitely see myself doing this.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I was dating at the time and it was about 50-50 between people who thought it was cool and people who were like "no effing way."

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#312

Post by ca98am79 »

twelve40 wrote: post #303
JeremyNT wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoting Tolstoy may seem low effort, but it feels warranted here: "All happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

I heard this phrase many times, but I really don't understand what it means. Aside from being stated in extremely dogmatic form - like a claim to the ultimate truth - what, exactly, do we learn from this statement? To me (aside from being probably just an incorrect artistic exaggeration), it sounds like something ridiculously trivial, like "all people live different lives, but everyone dies" (ok, so what?) or "we all…

When I first heard this quote it really resonated with me. I think what it means is that unhappy relationships usually take on specific forms, while happy relationship are more generalized.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#313

Post by ca98am79 »

justrudd wrote: post #111

I was talking with my sister a couple of days ago, and we started talking about being alone. She is an extrovert’s extrovert. When things were locked down for her, she got really, really depressed. At one point, she didn’t even care if she got COVID because she was slowly going insane not being around people everyday. Zoom, texting, etc. didn’t work for her. So for her, alone == loneliness. I am on the total opposite…

this is funny because I wanted to create a dead man's switch api that you could add to your programs. I have the domain dead.io and was planning to use this for it but never got around to it. You can see the project on introvert.com - let me know if you want to partner up on this

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#314

Post by [deleted] »

twelve40 wrote: post #303
JeremyNT wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoting Tolstoy may seem low effort, but it feels warranted here: "All happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

I heard this phrase many times, but I really don't understand what it means. Aside from being stated in extremely dogmatic form - like a claim to the ultimate truth - what, exactly, do we learn from this statement? To me (aside from being probably just an incorrect artistic exaggeration), it sounds like something ridiculously trivial, like "all people live different lives, but everyone dies" (ok, so what?) or "we all…

[deleted]

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#315

Post by shrimp_emoji »

snvzz wrote: post #126
bowsamic wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it bizarre and unsettling that there is a big group of HN users who seem to be scared of death

SENS isn't about death. It's about undoing aging. For as long as I am alive, I'd rather stay as young and healthy as possible. Wouldn't you?

I'd literally like to be the Man From Earth.

Not because I terribly fear death or think I'm important/worthy enough to suck oxygen indefinitely but because I figure it'd be fun. I wanna see the singularity, Mars bases, etc. D:

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#316

Post by 9530jh9054ven »

didericis wrote: post #262
9530jh9054ven wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I know you said this, but I want to emphasize that relationship failures do not invalidate the value of that ideal. I struggle to think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from pursuing some kind of family, and I believe sacrificing that pursuit entirely is always a tragic mistake. Two come to mind rather easily. 1) Someone that is going to commit suicide. Having a family that you actually care about would make killing…

Both of those examples just point to the value of having true support from a larger community. If you see someone suicidal or who has never known true familial support, try to bring them in and teach them what a true and healthy family looks like. And if you ever find yourself in that position, you want try to crawl your way out and into better networks and a state of mind, as confusing and painful as that may be. Co…

I'm talking about an inevitable outcome of communities, being that there are going to be individuals that won't belong to any of them. In that case I'm saying that committing suicide alone is the best outcome out of a set of bad options, because at least there is no collateral damage.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#317

Post by dominotw »

denton-scratch wrote: post #277
dominotw wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

euthanasia?? thats my plan.

How do you plan to euthanase yourself? Exit International recommend Nembutal (which is also used by Dignitas). But it's the very devil to buy; dark-markets sometimes offer it, bit it's fabulously expensive, and the sellers never have a trading record. I'm told that hanging yourself from a doorknob is fairly quick and quite painless, but it's a problem for anyone that discovers you, or is with you when you do it. And…

i think they have legal assisted suicide in european countries. I hope it will become more accepted by the time i need it.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#318

Post by didericis »

9530jh9054ven wrote: post #316
didericis wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Both of those examples just point to the value of having true support from a larger community. If you see someone suicidal or who has never known true familial support, try to bring them in and teach them what a true and healthy family looks like. And if you ever find yourself in that position, you want try to crawl your way out and into better networks and a state of mind, as confusing and painful as that may be. Co…

I'm talking about an inevitable outcome of communities, being that there are going to be individuals that won't belong to any of them. In that case I'm saying that committing suicide alone is the best outcome out of a set of bad options, because at least there is no collateral damage.

I disagree with everything you said and find your outlook both sad and disgusting.

We can make a space in the world for everyone, however small. People can find each other.

Homeless drug addicts have friends. Lonely people can find communities. Circumstances are not static.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#319

Post by panaffa »

didericis wrote: post #257
panaffa wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with the sentiment, but tbh a lot of people suffer alone on this planet and designing societal structures to serve absolutely everyone's emotional needs would be impossible. An AI would be perfect for all the misfits, elderly, loners, disabled, "ugly," outcasts, etc, right?

Think about what you're saying a bit. Why are the "others" you're describing destined to be alone? At the very least, couldn't they have each other? It's easier and more rewarding to just be more compassionate to others, and I don't think it's impossible to design social structures that at least make some attempt to serve everyone's emotional needs. Whether they'll be successful is circumstantial, and I don't think i…

I support your optimism and believe we can move in that direction. However I still believe you severely underestimate the scale of misery, solitude, and unmet desires amongst humanity. Also, you mention it won't be possible to make everyone perfectly content, implying some will be more content than others. How is that fair? Why must some have fewer friends, lovers, positive experiences, adventures, achievements etc? This is a fundamental psychological inequality in the world that could only be balanced by AI.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#320

Post by denton-scratch »

dominotw wrote: post #317
denton-scratch wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you plan to euthanase yourself? Exit International recommend Nembutal (which is also used by Dignitas). But it's the very devil to buy; dark-markets sometimes offer it, bit it's fabulously expensive, and the sellers never have a trading record. I'm told that hanging yourself from a doorknob is fairly quick and quite painless, but it's a problem for anyone that discovers you, or is with you when you do it. And…

i think they have legal assisted suicide in european countries. I hope it will become more accepted by the time i need it.

They do, in the Netherlands and Switzerland; but only Switzerland permits this for foreigners. I'm not aware of other European countries.
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