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Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

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Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#171

Post by 3pt14159 »

logfromblammo wrote: post #158
3pt14159 wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You need to be far more paranoid. When Ashley Madison's parent company tried to hire me I obviously said "no", but I also became curious about their site from a different perspective (I wanted to check out their technology). But I created a one time use email address to check it out.

Sometimes, I even use nonce email addresses with non-vice-based businesses. For anything potentially embarrassing or blackmailable, I believe I would have to create an entirely separate and strictly segregated identity for each one, even just for "evaluation". Practically everyone has had a data breach by now. It's well past time to start acquiring data-protection habits to practice before going out on the Internet.

I'm going to tell my kids I'm logging everything they do on the internet. I'm also not going to let them get a credit card. If they find a way of buying a VPN with Bitcoins then I'll figure that they are old enough to suffer the ramifications of not being paranoid.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#172

Post by angersock »

LesZedCB wrote: post #135
netcan wrote: post #11

What I'm curious about is future changes in user behavior in response to this kind of stuff. Private data, public data and the public-private grey areas like pseudonymous posts, access restricted (FB-like) profiles and such are getting leaked all the time. Paranoia is definitely building. Awareness of how exposed people are is building. Yet, exposure is going up not down. People are posting more stuff online. I wonde…

I am a part of the polyamorous (not totally distinct, but not the same as polygamy) culture, and I think it is slowly gaining some momentum. I'm not convinced it will ever see mainstream acceptance (who knows, LGBTQ+ people somewhat enjoy that now), but I think that it's a valid way to live life and enjoy romance and relationships. I have been with my current partner for 2 years, and we have both dated other people s…

It's a curious thing--from observation, I note that poly (along with a lot of other non-normal personality traits) tends to be notably prevalent in the tech and academic sectors. It is an open question whether this is because there's simply more visibility, or something else. There's also a decent amount of it in the kink sub-communities.

I have a hunch that it may be a byproduct of the ongoing evolution of the dating marketplace--if you have, for example, a rather uncommon kink or something, it makes sense not to voluntarily limit yourself to one supplier.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#173

Post by drzaiusapelord »

Frondo wrote: post #170
drzaiusapelord wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>How have we come to accept this kind of immoral behavior on the large scale Cheating is legal and doesn't affect me a customer. Its crazy that an entrepreneur forum is obsessed with exposing these men and women. Not too long ago, my dad's generation were saying "A company run by a gay? I'd never do business with such a morally bankrupt pervert!" Meanwhile, my own bosses have said things like, "Hire someone who smoke…

I care about cheating because it tells me that the person is OK with lying to people close to them. If they're OK lying to their spouse, my concern is that they're also OK lying to a customer. If people want to have an open marriage or practice polyamory, fine, that's entirely up to them. The deception is the thing here that is problematic.

What about closeted gays and others who are forced to be deceptive? I lie about my religious views because you can't be an atheist where I'm at. etc, etc. There's so much white-lying going on that its ridiculous to hold it up to some standard or pretend it means anything.

>my concern is that they're also OK lying to a customer.

This is ridiculous. Do you really think the CEO's sex life translates directly to the product? Do you even understand what a CEO does?

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#174

Post by TeMPOraL »

krapp wrote: post #142
TeMPOraL wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see a difference between privacy (preventing information about you from getting out) and rewriting history after the fact. Historical data is a public good, it's much bigger than an individual and his affairs, whether legit or not.

>I see a difference between privacy (preventing information about you from getting out) and rewriting history after the fact. I don't, in this case. Search engines and social media sites were never intended to serve as arbiters of historical truth. Is it really a good idea to suddenly pretend they are, and insist they act like it?

Search engines weren't intended to be anything, they weren't designed up front by committee. They just ended up what they are. Twitter also wasn't intended to be the channel for officials to communicate with the public, nor Facebook the ultimate Yellow Pages, nor was Google Maps commissioned to become the world's most popular GIS.

You could argue that preserving public goods is the task for the government and yes, we shouldn't insist that private companies do their job for them. But here, we have a company that wants to do that job out of its own will, and the governments insist they stop.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#175

Post by comrh »

JustSomeNobody wrote: post #26
netcan wrote: post #11

What I'm curious about is future changes in user behavior in response to this kind of stuff. Private data, public data and the public-private grey areas like pseudonymous posts, access restricted (FB-like) profiles and such are getting leaked all the time. Paranoia is definitely building. Awareness of how exposed people are is building. Yet, exposure is going up not down. People are posting more stuff online. I wonde…

Of course your prediction will come true, there's already a lot of evidence for it in the comments of most articles on the leak. Cheaters will be the victims and anyone who thinks cheating on one's spouse is bad will be considered insensitive.

Can't you agree with both? The cheaters had their personal information stolen and leaked on the internet, and while they're engaging in unethical behavior (imho) that doesn't absolve the hackers.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#176

Post by Frondo »

transfire wrote: post #59
mayaross wrote: post #34

One thing that struck me about this is that all the messages from people worried their data are from men. Troy even states that explicitly: "very close to 100% of the emails I got were about men having accounts on the site". Why is that? Is it because men are more likely to cheat, or because men are more likely to need the help of online services to do so? I suspect both are true, but can say with confidence that the…

You don't understand what it is like to be a man then. It has nothing to do with "inequality". When it comes to sex it is woman that hold most of the cards. For a man, unless they are handsome, wealthy and well endowed (i.e. perfect) then they are at the mercy of women. Which means they have two choices, they either "beg" for it or try to "take" it. Both come in a variety of subtle and overt forms. In either case it…

Whoa!

That is some seriously messed-up stuff!

Imperfect men can either beg for sex or attempt rape?

No! Just, no! A thousand times no!

I would strongly encourage you to talk to a professional mental health practitioner if that's your view on sexual relations. Something has gone seriously off the rails for you, and I hope you'll put in the effort to try and fix things up.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#177

Post by [deleted] »

lolo_ wrote: post #163
smtddr wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anyone who even knows HN exists will be tech-savvy enough to find all the sites, or torrents, providing the data without having to read a comment on HN.

Sure, but there's at least the barrier of making the effort to do that, naming the site makes it a google away and if you happen to be in the area it covers it'll be tempting. It's easier to diet when you don't have a chocolate bar in front of you!

[deleted]

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#178

Post by powertower »

burnburnburn wrote: post #46
transfire wrote: post #36

Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…

The immoral business behavior seems to be the hackers' motivation, based on what they've written. They sought out to destroy the business. I'm guessing they'll succeed in that.

If I recall correctly, the hackers wrote that they where morally outraged that AM was charging the users a deletion fee, and not deleting their data.

Except by releasing the users data, it clearly shows their motivation is more against the users, then any shady business practices.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#179

Post by icebraining »

angersock wrote: post #172
LesZedCB wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am a part of the polyamorous (not totally distinct, but not the same as polygamy) culture, and I think it is slowly gaining some momentum. I'm not convinced it will ever see mainstream acceptance (who knows, LGBTQ+ people somewhat enjoy that now), but I think that it's a valid way to live life and enjoy romance and relationships. I have been with my current partner for 2 years, and we have both dated other people s…

It's a curious thing--from observation, I note that poly (along with a lot of other non-normal personality traits) tends to be notably prevalent in the tech and academic sectors. It is an open question whether this is because there's simply more visibility, or something else. There's also a decent amount of it in the kink sub-communities. I have a hunch that it may be a byproduct of the ongoing evolution of the datin…

I'd say that belonging to the polyamourous community is more likely to limit you in the "dating marketplace" than giving you more options. You're essentially excluding the vast majority of the population, which is very much not OK with it.
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