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Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

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Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#151

Post by iso8859-1 »

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #117
transfire wrote: post #36

Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…

>How have we come to accept this kind of immoral behavior on the large scale Cheating is legal and doesn't affect me a customer. Its crazy that an entrepreneur forum is obsessed with exposing these men and women. Not too long ago, my dad's generation were saying "A company run by a gay? I'd never do business with such a morally bankrupt pervert!" Meanwhile, my own bosses have said things like, "Hire someone who smoke…

> Cheating is legal

No. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery#United_States

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#152

Post by Lawtonfogle »

JohnBooty wrote: post #148
Lawtonfogle wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It sounds like you're pretty bitter about something or other. What did they say that made them sound bitter? I often see this response for points similar to the one GP made, so I was wondering what about it makes one seem bitter?

What did they say that made them sound bitter? When they bemoaned the state of male/female relationships and claimed that females somehow dominate men who are anything less than "perfect." That sounded very bitter to me.

There are definite gender imbalances in our society. Is someone bitter when they point out that women make less or that men die more at work? Or is it particular to relationship issues? I wouldn't call Clinton pointing out the wage gap as her being bitter.

Is it perhaps some view that those who complain about social relationship norms are generally those not in, but wishing to be in, such relationships?

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#153

Post by vidarh »

JohnBooty wrote: post #147
transfire wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't understand what it is like to be a man then. It has nothing to do with "inequality". When it comes to sex it is woman that hold most of the cards. For a man, unless they are handsome, wealthy and well endowed (i.e. perfect) then they are at the mercy of women. Which means they have two choices, they either "beg" for it or try to "take" it. Both come in a variety of subtle and overt forms. In either case it…

For a man, unless they are handsome, wealthy and well endowed (i.e. perfect) then they are at the mercy of women. This isn't true at all. I know plenty of average guys with great relationships. You're right about insecurity being a turnoff for most people, though.

It seems to me you ignored the following part. The point is unless you have attributes that scream "status" in some for or other, as a man you have to put in effort to find a partner that women are more likely to be able to avoid (that said: women who want good partners still have to put in a lot of effort too).

Women have a whole different level of choice. Not necessarily good choices, but choice nonetheless. Just try to put up a fake profile on a dating site as an experiment and see what ends up in your mailbox over the course of a few days. It's an "enlightening" experience. Not necessarily very pleasant.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#154

Post by Karunamon »

SXX wrote: post #146
akshatpradhan wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We shouldn't expect the ability for Steam to honor a request to remove our accounts because that ability could be abused by family conflicts, friends and jokes?

Yes because it's nearly impossible to check if it's actually you request removal and not somebody else. Otherwise Steam would have to keep your account data on servers anyway so there is no point in removal procedure. Considering Steam don't ask about any of your personal information (and you can pay using PayPal or even "offline" wallet codes) I would suspect that such feature will be used more for harm than good.

Valve is known for asking for PII for things such as recovering accounts that have been hacked (to wit: fax in your driver's license or other photo id and a physical CD key from one of your registered games)

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#155

Post by jberryman »

JohnBooty wrote: post #145
jberryman wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Women don't need sites to help them cheat; all they have to do is go out and they will be hunted down. As a woman I find this a clear sign of the remaining, quite sinister, gender inequality. Can you expand on what you mean by that? (Specifically by "hunted down" and how what you're talking about relates to inequality)

Have you ever been to a bar? A single woman will attract lots of male attention. A single man won't have a similar level of females flocking to him unless he's got movie star looks. These are vast generalizations with plenty of exceptions, but surely you have noticed that in most cultures men tend to pursue women more actively than vice-versa?

Right, but it wasn't clear to me that that was mayaross's point exactly, or if it was her whole point. I'm interested in what women think about the dynamics of dating and courtship, as it's something I think a lot about and sort of struggle with in some ways.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#156

Post by Karunamon »

AlexandrB wrote: post #33
JustSomeNobody wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course your prediction will come true, there's already a lot of evidence for it in the comments of most articles on the leak. Cheaters will be the victims and anyone who thinks cheating on one's spouse is bad will be considered insensitive.

> Cheaters will be the victims and anyone who thinks cheating on one's spouse is bad will be considered insensitive. How do you know the spouse's opinion on the matter? That's the only opinion that matters regarding how bad it is.

Because if the spouse is aware and accepting, it's not "cheating" anymore, it's just an open relationship.

"Cheating" implies dishonesty and deception.

..Something I think that keeps getting lost in this discussion that inevitably turns towards discussions of polyamory - this is not a discussion about whether polyamory is okay, it's a discussion about whether it's okay to lie to another person who you've of your own free will promised that you will be monogamous with.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#157

Post by marrs »

Retra wrote: post #124
marrs wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Facing divorce because your name appeared on a list is more than just embarrassing.

Maybe don't marry someone who will divorce you simply because your name is on a list?

Maybe you thought you did that

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#158

Post by logfromblammo »

3pt14159 wrote: post #131
transfire wrote: post #36

Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…

You need to be far more paranoid. When Ashley Madison's parent company tried to hire me I obviously said "no", but I also became curious about their site from a different perspective (I wanted to check out their technology). But I created a one time use email address to check it out.

Sometimes, I even use nonce email addresses with non-vice-based businesses. For anything potentially embarrassing or blackmailable, I believe I would have to create an entirely separate and strictly segregated identity for each one, even just for "evaluation".

Practically everyone has had a data breach by now. It's well past time to start acquiring data-protection habits to practice before going out on the Internet.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#159

Post by pavel_lishin »

jalanco wrote: post #6

Reading this made me think about the hard problem of "removing" yourself from the internet. I don't think it is possible. But I do think there might be an opportunity for a service that creates so much conflicting and false information about a person that it is not possible to know the truth about them: false addresses, phone numbers, credit histories, you name it. Just a thought.

Bogon Generation as a Service

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#160

Post by pjc50 »

jahnu wrote: post #134
transfire wrote: post #36

Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…

There are now two suspected suicides due to this. http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-34044506 Terribly sad and deeply disturbing. Imagine what will happen the first time a government's database of all the sites we are visiting is leaked.

Note that a location tracking database would probably give you enough information to determine who's actively cheating. All the big 3 (Microsoft, Google, Apple) plus the cell phone companies have this data.
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