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Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

esquire.co.uk

171–180 of 528 posts

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#171
post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It goes on: > “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’” > “Have you ever heard that thing, men are afraid that women will laugh at them and women are afraid that men will kill them?” she said. Remind me when someone was last killed at a tech conference like she says? Very rarely, if ever. Did she feel bad about him being fired? Nope. > “He’s a white male. I’m a black Jewish female. He wa…

The irony is, such delusional behaviour does nothing but foster more doubt and double standards. If I were Hank, I would react exactly as he wrote: > I asked Hank if he found himself behaving differently since the incident. Had it altered how he lived his life? > “I distance myself from female developers a little bit now,” he replied. “I’m not as friendly. There’s humour, but it’s very mundane. You just don’t know. I…

Then enough people get cautious like that, and eventually we have people complaining about discrimination because groups of guys will suddenly get quiet when a woman enters earshot, and they act somewhat uncomfortable. "Why can't they just treat us like equals?"

I'm starting to believe that you can't really please everybody's sense of what is fair and equality in cases like this.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#172
post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you really think that conferences' code of conduct should regulate what two friends are saying to each other privately?

Whether they should ? I don't know. Maybe. Sexism in tech is a weird and hard problem, and if regulating private conversations helps solving it, then I'm cautiously willing to give it a try. Whether they do ? Yes. From the CoC[1]: > Be careful in the words that you choose. Remember that sexist, racist, and other exclusionary jokes can be offensive to those around you. Excessive swearing and offensive jokes are not ap…

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Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is threatening about that joke?

That's exactly it. We find it so hard to understand how that joke is threatening. It's almost impossible to imagine. It just sounds like a dumb joke. But look at how Adria describes her feelings in the article: “Have you ever had an altercation at school and you could feel the hairs rise up on your back?” she asked me. “You felt fear?” I asked. “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’” I…

> “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’”

I believe she genuinely felt the way she describes, but I don't think she felt it because of her gender.

I would take a guess that this kind of feeling isn't present for the vast majority of women -- indeed, there was no danger.

I find it more likely that the feeling had something to do with the trauma associated with her father knocking out her mother's teeth with a hammer when she was a kid, as detailed in the last part of the article.

An innocuous joke that triggered a disproportionate emotional response, seeded by past trauma.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_trauma#Symptoms

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#175
post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Not too bad, he's a white male. I'm a black Jewish female." Nice quote here. As you say, it really does make Richards look empathetic. /s But seriously, this is not good for her image.

No, she doesn't look empathetic, but, considering the broader context, how much empathy can you reasonably expect? He lost his job and got a new one "right away" (according to the article). She also lost her job, was bombarded with all kinds of threats (death, rape, etc.), had to go into hiding and still doesn't have a new job (at least as of her interview for the piece). I'm sure she could improve her image if she w…

But why not expect empathy? Hank has empathy for Adria, saying she didn't deserve what she got. It doesn't look like Hank was the one who instigated all the death threats and abuse, so why not feel empathy towards him for losing his job?

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#176
The worst and most ironic part of this story is how 4chans vigilante 'justice' likely ended up reaffirming Adrias fears surrounding men in the field.

For better or worse, 4chan is a supernode in Internet culture, and there's certainly some association between it and many other tech and hacker communities. Just look at how many conference presentations these days contain memes that originate on 4chan.

The end of the article talks about how Hank no longer trusts himself to talk to women in the workplace, but what about Adria? Regardless of whether her fears were founded, she must now feel totally vindicated and more fearful than ever before.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Involuntary sexualization is sexist though. What if the picture on screen was a woman saying 'I want to be judged on my merits not my gender' and the guys were saying 'Nice tits' out loud and laughing? Would that be sexism? I'd unequivocally say yes and, while inarguably less offensive, the dongle joke was still similarly sexist.

> ... the dongle joke was still similarly sexist. How so? As I understand it the joke wasn't directed at the picture on the screen or anybody in particular.

If I understood correctly it was directed at a talk about diversity in tech and getting more women involved in technology.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't agree with Adria's public tweet, and Hank got way more than he deserved (as did Adria) over it. But I can totally see how she could have been driven to do it, and I can even see how she would feel now — after all she's gone through — that she should not have to apologise for it. She used her status and influence in an irresponsible way, and she consistently avoids any responsibility into what happens, while…

> I do think she needs to behave like an adult and realize that she has a responsibility in what happened. Presumably you mean the tweet, not her childhood abuse, just for people who might misinterpret the somewhat ambiguous reference.

Yes, the tweet. I hadn't realized the ambiguity.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#179

I remember this episode well. Adria is more immature than the jokes that she supposedly got offended by. Let's ennumerate: - She overheard a conversation that wasn't directed at her. In the middle of a conference she was hopefully not coerced at attending and should be paying attention to the speaker - She took a picture of two people, without asking for permission - She twitted said picture with negative comments -…

> She overheard a conversation that wasn't directed at her. In the middle of a conference she was hopefully not coerced at attending and should be paying attention to the speaker

I don't think you're supposed to ignore what's going on around you just because it wasn't directed at you and you're at a conference. The other reasons are valid, but this one doesn't strike me as such.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#180
post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I initially had a similar reaction but then forced myself to take a step back. I think I can sympathise with Adria regarding her initial reaction. She's a minority surrounded by men who are happy to make these sorts of jokes within earshot. It sounds harmless to us, but I can't even imagine what it's like to have been at PyCon as a black Jewish woman. It must be very difficult to attend such a conference and then hea…

> as a black Jewish woman Feeling out of place as a black woman I can understand, but how does her religion segregate her from the rest of the audience? Is this difference visible from outside?

Jewish describes an ethnic group as well as a religious one, so potentially, yes.
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