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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#391

Post by SiempreViernes »

xandrius wrote: post #375
bcraven wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have selectively quoted that article. Note the last four paragraphs are: >Andrew McNerney, 70, admitted there was initially some resistance to becoming a mixed group. >He said: "There was apprehension, but in all honesty, it's turned out well. >"We [the men] escape now and again [to the quiet room] and have a chat and weigh things up." >But he added: "It's a lovely atmosphere, and it's been good."

I agree with the post, if the genders were reversed, people wouldn't generally feel this open about it.

That's because the genders aren't valued equally by society, so they don't permute. Once gender equality is established they could switched and the statements would be equivalent.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#392

Post by amelius »

scoofy wrote: post #316
forgotoldacc wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always hear stereotypes about people in big cities being unfriendly and there being no sense of community, but I've had the opposite experience. Coming from a town with a population of hundreds, yeah, everyone knew everybody, but the connections people had were decades old. And everyone hated everybody who wasn't already part of their very tight social network (and they hated most of the people in the network as we…

Yea, I loved the relationships in NYC, just not the grind. Everyone was trying to "make it" everything was expensive while at the same time there is garbage juice on the street in 90º heat. I'd go see my friends shows, but never got on the list because they had to get paying customers to get invited back. Tough living, and that's not even saying anything about trying to be a cyclist in the city. I've lived in SF for…

Americans will probably never admit it but they are really bad at urban planning.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#393

Post by aspenmayer »

dcsan wrote: post #130
aspenmayer wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Back in the day I would just go to Noisebridge and see what others were working on. Is that place still worth going to today? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noisebridge

they had to move off mission around the corner to a backstreet, so there are less mission vagrant rogues trying to sneak in now, and still the hardcore of interesting people. when i first moved back to the city from overseas, noisebridge was an awesome third place to hang out and hack on stuff while meeting regulars.

> mission vagrant rogues

I mean, I am a decent person, but somehow I ended up with a key that worked for the the building and the 2nd floor of the old Mission location of Noisebridge by my second or third visit, despite never having been a member or paying dues etc. I got it from someone else who had also gotten it from someone else if I remember correctly. Only members were supposed to have keys, I think? I wasn't shy about the fact I wasn't one, but I didn't flash the key around either. Hopefully they have tightened up on that if it's a recurring issue.

Stuff like getting the key was just part of the scene in SF that you could randomly encounter, like the time I was working security for the American Psychiatric Association trade show at the Moscone Center and the Church of Scientology protested against the conference right outside, then a flash mob counter-protest of anons in Guy Fawkes masks appeared. SF is just weird like that for some people I guess. Maybe it's just me?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#394

Post by SiempreViernes »

xandrius wrote: post #377
notarobot123 wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships.

Then why women segregate themselves in groups? I'm not saying I'm pro gender segregation but if women can have their own gender segregated groups, why men should be treated differently?

Both genders segregate themselves into groups on occasion, as the quotes explicitly highlight.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#395

Post by latentsea »

tbrownaw wrote: post #147
latentsea wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Elephant's weigh more like 11,000lbs. I think you mean Gorilla? Speaking of Gorillas, have you ever read the book Chimpanzee Politics? Crazy how at the end the other two chimps break into the one chimps cage and literally rip his nuts off. Crazy huh? Oh wait... I'm doing that thing again, aren't I?

It's a very small elephant, like the opposite of a jumbo shrimp.

Ah yes, shrimp... the cockroach of the sea. Jumbo sea cockroach.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#396

Post by ToucanLoucan »

meheleventyone wrote: post #374
groestl wrote: post #321

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sure it's common, but I've always hung around in mixed groups, doing whatever, so I'm puzzled and curious what guy time or girl time even is.

You'll note that most people saying this stuff are being extremely non-specific about what it means. My impression is that a lot of what they want to do would be offensive to lots of guys as well. Essentially they want a space to act in a way that women would feel quite threatened by. Not that mixed groups don't already have that as an issue.

[flagged]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#397

Post by SiempreViernes »

wvh wrote: post #332
notarobot123 wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships.

Don't disagree, but some hard things don't get said when the other gender is around, especially with men of a certain age. It takes a lot for many men to even out loud say the word "lonely" or "sad" or "worthless". A lot of male conversation is silent. The whole spiel is to project and feel capable of dealing with the world, to feel useful, to be a Man. To feel otherwise is not "masculine". To admit this to mixed com…

Funny, because the traditional role of a women is exactly to be the one who hears all these hard things and helps the man overcome them.

Extra funny hat women should be excluded so men can talk about feeling lonely and how they wish they had a woman.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#399

Post by blitzar »

jim-jim-jim wrote: post #287
subscribed wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh, but why if they're having a functional clubs already? I feel like men only spaces in the UK are frowned upon (see Garrick club narration). No matter the reason, the only way single sex spaces work here is women only.

I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon in the English speaking world, whether it be in sports, book awards, knitting circles, toilets, or prisons. This isn't an x-has-it-worse comment by the way. I think every demographic is entitled to self-segregate without shame, and the ladies definitely face their own struggles in achieving this.

> I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon

Centre of the English speaking world here.

My gym has a "mixed" workout area and a "women only" workout area. The pool and sauna have "mixed" sessions and "women only" sessions. Classes are segregated to "women only" or "mixed". Membership fees are the same for all.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#400

Post by lovestory »

Euphorbium wrote: post #306
keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

You are not supposed to stop by. You are supposed to spend money and keep going.

Here in the Balkans and most of European countries always have public squares or similar gathering place for each neighborhood. I was shocked when I visited some USA states that absolutely have nothing of that sort. Not even a park that is tailored for a few hours hangout sessions. Even some public spaces like parks and library gardens are filled with corporate interests like Starbucks. You absolutely are expected to spend money whenever you go out which is depressing af.
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