311–320 of 473 posts
Well too bad ADHD makes me a fast thinker that talks over everyone else and writes code at 6x speed, but only sometimes, when I'm not procrastinating for hours at a time and when I'm not too mentally drained to engage with other people. It makes me an extrovert at work, but only sometimes, and a great team player, but only sometimes. These blog posts feel so dumb to me because they always assume that you're a neuroty…
I am an introvert not because I don’t like socializing with people, but rather because I can’t shake the impression that they don’t like socializing with me (and I have been proven right in this notion). In order to become more likable I’ve had to adopt an extremely perceptive and self critical mental framework to analyze every thing I could be doing wrong to annoy or offend people. It has worked, and people seem to…
In social media I often see terms like "Introverted Extrovert" get thrown around when sometimes they just mean that they're an introvert who's good at masking. On the other hand, my energy level goes up in a group, but I definitely need time to warm up to new people before I can be comfortable around them.
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This is mental illness not introversion. You don’t get anxious about other things you don’t like. You might not enjoy playing board games or Russian literature. Does it stress you out and make you anxious? Probably not. You just don’t care.
And how do you know that the Aditya from the story didn't have a mental illness?
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I am an introvert and I can (and if necessary will) take over the microphone and address a room with 500 people in it. I might even enjoy that a little. What makes me an introvert isn't that I am shy (I am not), what makes me an introvert is that I find all interaction with other people except a select few exhausting and draining. Don't get me wrong: That doesn't mean I am weird or bad at talking with people — in fac…
I'm very much like this. I often compare social gatherings to activities like hiking. I might go for a hike from time to time and I might even enjoy it, but it will be exhausting and I will need some time after the hike to recharge.
This feels like the author has made the assumption that since they are an introvert, all introverts are like them. However, I think that introversion, like most things is a continuum, not binary. Take the characterization of introverts in the article: "They would rather sit in front of the computer than go out during the yearly college social fest." For me it isn't just a matter of "I'd rather be in front of a comput…
I've heard one way a parent can help a shy child is to have them look after much younger children. Even very shy children seem to be able to manage talking to less-experienced, less-intimidating, pipsqueaks. Wonder if there's a way to take that tack.
The name schizoid sounds terrible but it's basically self sufficiency and reduced need for real world human contact. This enables evaluating opportunity of each one on its merits and for people who had prior bad experiences might result in avoidance of almost all human contact. Since there's no emotional cost of that such people can be pretty shameless about it. Hence connotation of "proud" and antipathy from non-schizoid people like the author of this article.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorde...
This feels like the author has made the assumption that since they are an introvert, all introverts are like them. However, I think that introversion, like most things is a continuum, not binary. Take the characterization of introverts in the article: "They would rather sit in front of the computer than go out during the yearly college social fest." For me it isn't just a matter of "I'd rather be in front of a comput…
> However, I think that introversion, like most things is a continuum, not binary. It’s a measurable scale from 1 to 100 in the big 5 model.
I am an introvert not because I don’t like socializing with people, but rather because I can’t shake the impression that they don’t like socializing with me (and I have been proven right in this notion). In order to become more likable I’ve had to adopt an extremely perceptive and self critical mental framework to analyze every thing I could be doing wrong to annoy or offend people. It has worked, and people seem to…
I do wonder how much is extraversion vs introversion, and much are other factors like shyness/social anxiety, or as another commenter mentioned, being non-neurotypical. I feel like these discussions are full of mislabelled terms and people who may not be fully self-aware of where they sit. In social media I often see terms like "Introverted Extrovert" get thrown around when sometimes they just mean that they're an in…
People try and generalise too much to make these clunky mental models of the world and of people.
With the internet it's increasingly common for a person's preferred social group to be somewhere online, and the people you meet in your daily life IRL are not of this group, they are not "your people" and it's tiring to deal with them. Even if you were to meet those people IRL the dynamics would be different IRL. The whole thing is kind of cursed.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
My point is that if someone isn't as good at socializing as you are, instead of assuming that they are too lazy or "closed heart" to do better, acknowledge that it might be orders of magnitude more difficult for them than for you, and try to be understanding and helpful instead of dismissive.
One thing I’d mention is that just because someone is good at socialising in the outside doesn’t mean that they don’t have their own issues. Demonising people who can colour within the lines in this area when they make a mistake or are pushed out of their comfort zone can be exactly the same for us as it is for you guys to be told “just talk to the person”.
But when a self-labeled extrovert (or introvert or whatever) begins to tell me to just go do X to help with my introversion, it makes me want to stop talking about the issue to anyone.