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Losing my son

fortressofdoors.com

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Re: Losing my son

#421

Post by seoulmetro »

smeej wrote: post #402
seoulmetro wrote: post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. So you and many other are encouraging letting the wound fester instead of healing it with all that you can. You can't undo it, but you can live with it and not let it fester. No one is talking about denial. My comments mention acceptance...

What's your understanding of how a body heals a major wound, like the loss of an arm? It has to integrate this into a reshaped understanding of itself. That's what healing is. The core muscles have to rebalance to compensate for the missing weight. The neural pathways have to change in realization that, for example, instinctively trying to move that arm to catch a fall won't work anymore. The whole body has to relear…

If you lose your arm you use the other one. You don't complain that you can't use arms now because it was your dominant arm...

It ain't rocket science buddy.

Sounds like you need to try read my parent comments again.

Re: Losing my son

#422

Post by seoulmetro »

icehawk wrote: post #389
seoulmetro wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not flippant. It's apparently classed as a personal attack to dang though. That's hilarious. Helping others attack themselves? OK. Helping others prevent self harm? BAD BOY.

Once again, I stated "regardless of whether it is or not." I'm sorry, but you failed to convey that. Anyway, I hope this is hope this is a productive learning experience.

I don't have to convey that. It's on you if you fail to understand the text.

It has been a learning experience. I learnt that there are people who really hate others improving their life to the point where they claim that help is a form of personal attack. I am just so glad that I didn't get enabled by people like those in this comment thread when I deal with my own trauma.

Re: Losing my son

#423

Post by dang »

seoulmetro wrote: post #357
dang wrote: post #307

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This crosses into personal attack. That's not allowed here. I'm sure what you wrote here is coming from your own learning and experience, and those are good things. If you want to talk about your own experience with difficult things, that's welcome. However, when someone else does do, please don't reply with judgmental abstractions and supercilious advice—it's definitely not in the intended spirit of this site ( http…

I can't tell if this is a joke or not but does helping people who have had the same problems as you count as a personal attack here? That's bizarre to say the least. It's not "judgmental abstractions and supercilious advice". Jesus. Man, the replies here make me sick to my stomach and yours is especially bad dang. What an absolutely pathetic response from a moderator. Edit: Just read your bio and the quote from Milne…

I'm sorry my comment landed that harshly. It certainly wasn't what I wanted.

I was hoping to come back and give a more detailed explanation but there just hasn't been time.

Re: Losing my son

#424

Post by quonn »

bowsamic wrote: post #399
cristeigabriel wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a bullshit response.

It's my sincere belief, if you think differently then we can agree to disagree. For myself, I've never done a selfless act. All my so-called selfless compassion has ultimately been selfishly motivated. Therefore I can't judge the father for keeping his son alive.

What a strange thing to say. Come on, you must have done at least something small as a selfless act. At least something does has not inconvenienced you very much. We do this all the time and not just to feel better about ourselves.

Re: Losing my son

#425

Post by CRConrad »

thenerdhead wrote: post #230
larsiusprime wrote: post #48

I have to say I'm really humbled to suddenly see this on the front page. Today was a particularly hard day; I won't go into details but taking care of a permanently disabled invalid involves a lot of ups and downs and some fairly messy manual labor to keep them comfortable and in good shape. I love you all. Hug your kids if you have em. EDIT: The above blog post here was one of three things I wrote in the immediate a…

Can I send you a book? My email is on my website in my bio but I cannot find a way to contact you to ask.

FWIW, in case you haven't got it from somewhere else or noticed here, he says in several places that his email is lars dot doucet at gmail dot com .

Sorry if it's presumptious to jump in in your place Lars, undskyld, but I'm going on the premise that you just missed this question.

Good luck Nerdhead; all the best Larsius.

Re: Losing my son

#426

Post by CRConrad »

zeven7 wrote: post #118
adverbly wrote: post #12

This is absolutely gut-wrenching. Lars is an absolutely incredible thinker with a polymath-like range. - He has done great professional work as a software developer - He has pushed forward arguably one of the best economic policies for modern times(land value tax) through both a startup[1], and writing[2]. I particularly like his interview with Dwarkesh Patel[3] - He contributes core thinking to rationalist communiti…

> The two most impactful thinkers/writers in my life I am not familiar with the author, but after reading this article I am interested in learning more him and his other thoughts. Can you provide a good starting place for reading material? Specifically something that you feel affected your life.

Just in case your "not familiar with the author" meant not Lars but Douglas Hofstadter, I suppose the best place to start is the aforementioned "GEB": Gödel, Escher, Bach - an Eternal Golden Braid -- note how 'GEB' returns transposed as 'EGB in the title; that's kind of significant (IIRC, been decades since I read it). HTH!

Re: Losing my son

#427

Post by CRConrad »

larsiusprime wrote: post #386
thehias wrote: post #287

It is a shame that medical bills can force you to change your way of life in the USA. In Germany or similiar countries with universal healthcare your cost would have been alomost 0$/€.

Fortunately I haven’t been saddled with enormous bills yet. We somehow qualified for public assistance. Granted we have also spent a very large number of hours on the phone and had to jump through many other hoops, and this is far from over.

> We somehow qualified for public assistance.

What's so infuriating is that you even had to "qualify", and that many (presumably) don't. It would be nice if the USA caught up and joined the world's civilised countries.

Never mind that now, sorry. My best wishes to you and yours.

Re: Losing my son

#428

Post by CRConrad »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #195
devjab wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always found it interesting how many western religions and their followers maintain their faith in a “good” God, even in the face of terrible personal tragedy. I’m happy that people do, since it seems to help them and anything that does that is great. I’m personally more beholden to the Warhammer (yes, out of anything…) quote: “it was the moment I began to believe, God was real, and He hated us.”.

If you accept the Christian view of God, then that God knows what it is to lose a son. He knows firsthand what he's costing you when he allows it to happen to you. You may question his wisdom if you want. You may question his reasons for allowing it. But at least he's taken his own medicine.

Easier for a god to take than a man.

Re: Losing my son

#429

Post by CRConrad »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #370
devjab wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also the part where human suffering is our problem because someone ate an apple and it gave us free will and the responsibility of our own lives. Still doesn’t change the thousands of children who died in some war zone today, or the ones who died from starvation and so on. If you really watch that sort of thing from the sidelines with the power to stop it, then you probably aren’t too benevolent. Then again,…

Again, within the Christian view: We've walked away from God, rebelled against him, and broken everything in the process, but it's his fault that he doesn't fix everything? God doesn't stop evil, but he does limit it, and will eventually end it completely. Why doesn't he do so immediately, when he could? The bible's answer is that God is giving people time to repent. See, we are part of the evil that needs fixed. It'…

> The bible's answer is that God is giving people time to repent. See, we are part of the evil that needs fixed.

The evil that he, according to that same bronze-age goat-herders' tale, made. Any reasonable reading of the whole story says -- nay, loudly screams -- that he's the ultimate asshole.

The one redeeming character in the fable? The Prometheus who gave Man wisdom, the ability to think for himself. He must have been some competing goat-herder tribe's god; a tribe who lost, and the winners wrote the history, painting him as the bad guy.

Re: Losing my son

#430

Post by seoulmetro »

dang wrote: post #423
seoulmetro wrote: post #357

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not but does helping people who have had the same problems as you count as a personal attack here? That's bizarre to say the least. It's not "judgmental abstractions and supercilious advice". Jesus. Man, the replies here make me sick to my stomach and yours is especially bad dang. What an absolutely pathetic response from a moderator. Edit: Just read your bio and the quote from Milne…

I'm sorry my comment landed that harshly. It certainly wasn't what I wanted. I was hoping to come back and give a more detailed explanation but there just hasn't been time.

I don't really care about your comment. It's your actions that landed harshly.

If someone is to do such poor actions, I weigh their comment as low automatically.

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