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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#311

Post by ryoshu »

agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

1000% agree with, "Compliment in public, correct in private." But I still ask a person if it's okay if I compliment them in front of large groups to make sure they are comfortable with it. I've embarrassed people before when I haven't asked. Different people have different reactions to compliments in groups.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#312

Post by maxbond »

mulmen wrote: post #266
handoflixue wrote: post #263

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is no corollary hill worth dying on. A quick Google search would reveal that "This is a hill I will die on" is in fact an extremely common saying.

Yes, it is common. I would even call it cliche. Being common doesn't make it interesting or valuable.

You can't control the vocabulary of others. Don't push the river.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#313

Post by mulmen »

ncr100 wrote: post #295
mulmen wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don’t throw your coworkers under the bus. You may feel this cause is worthy but don’t force others into your crusade.

Would an example be to celebrate someone who is doing something I think is great, and overlook celebrating others whose work is less my crusade? Or is the point to avoid critiquing coworkers TO management, bypassing seeking feedback of the person first?

The point is to talk to your coworker first. You can’t know their relationship with their manager so you could do harm even if you intend to help.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#314

Post by mulmen »

amatecha wrote: post #298
mulmen wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I strongly disagree and have worked in multiple environments where your actions would have harmed me personally. Your manager is never your friend. All relationships with management are adversarial. It’s like talking to the police. Do not volunteer information. You don’t know where other people are, always obtain consent.

Jeez, that sucks, sorry you had to endure such a toxic environment. I hope you're working in a more psychologically-safe workplace now. I've worked in the full spectrum from probably-legally-actionable toxicity to extremely welcoming/safe and productive environments and can definitely say I won't tolerate the toxic shit for a second anymore. It's easy for me to say that because I have a lot of experience, and I absol…

We have similar experiences and have learned similar lessons.

The point here is that you don’t know where other people are right now. Treat them like adults, talk to them, and don’t put them in compromising positions. Unsolicited feedback to management has the potential to do harm so don’t do it. Just ask first, it’s not difficult.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#315

Post by fatherzine »

gizmo686 wrote: post #179
eweise wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do. Having worked with so many engineers with almost no social skills, I think there's a lot of room for improvement in their communication style. "Why didn't you do it this way?" is aggressive and critical. "have you thought about this approach?" makes them feel like you have their back and are trying to help. I agree there's not a huge need to the "I really liked how you tackled this" part but even never praising…

It depends on context, but I have found the opposite. "Have you thought about this approach" can come across as condcending. Of course I thought about that, it was the first thing I tried before the much more complicated solution that actually works. "Why didn't you do it this way" invites them to share the war story of what happened when they tried doing that.

"I see you went with ${solution X}, which is reasonable, though it suffers of ${major downside K} in fairly common ${situation T}. Would ${solution Y} address ${major downside K}? Granted, we are trading off a bit of ${minor downside J}, but at a quick glance appears a solid overall improvement."

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#316

Post by alanwreath »

It’s funny, I’m a lead in my team and there is this one co-developer on my team that is obviously looking to replace me or be my lead in some capacity. He’s even made jokes about it on multiple occasions. From time to time he compliments me on work I do, but it comes off as if I’m only finally approaching his level of expertise. It’s hard to describe. You could probably say I’m reading too deep into it, but I swear it’s true. I haven’t responded to it, because well, he’s pretty good anyway and he’s fun to work with. Just one of those things I guess.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#317

Post by trifurcate »

thegrimmest wrote: post #273
trifurcate wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is no good reason to react emotionally to professional criticism. And yet when it happens (not a rare event), it can be quite unproductive for both parties. I would hope that you deal with other worst-practices in your domain with greater grace than a total refusal to deal with and prevent pathological outcomes. Additionally, if you truly believe what you stated, then so long as I avoid sacrificing significan…

> And yet when it happens When it does happen, like any other mistake, it should be corrected . Just like if someone put secrets into git, it should be explained to them why they shouldn't do that, and an expectation should be set not to do it again. If the individual fails to meet that expectation, disciplinary action should be taken, up to and including termination. I've in fact had this happen to a developer who t…

I actually agree with most of the points you've made here. I think the difference lies in what context this feedback is relayed to a teammate.

If I'm tasked with a code review, that is pretty much a directive for me to offer feedback. When I am asked explicitly for feedback, whether directly by my peer or as assigned by a higher up, I tend not to bother with the kind of niceties I am talking about. Still, being nice is nice. But I expect the other person to take my words as-is, so I won't mince them.

Accommodating others becomes more important to me outside of this "directly asked for feedback" context. If I'm in a group discussion, or if my feedback hasn't been explicitly solicited, then that's a trickier environment with greater potential for me to negatively dominate the discussion. Similarly, if the issue at hand is not one of baseline technical necessity (like committing secrets to git) but more open to different opinions (like how to structure an interface we're exposing), I place greater weight on trying to be accommodating. I find that most discussions tend to be of the latter kind.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#318

Post by dnissley »

mulmen wrote: post #167

Asking is CRITICAL . Do not praise me without consent. I have had too many abusive managers in my career to ever desire unsolicited praise. All information is a weapon in the hands of an abuser. I may have helped you complete your task but my manager could interpret that as wasting time not delivering my own task. In other words going over someone’s head (direct to their manager) is an aggressive and rude action. It…

I feel like not asking is a reasonable default, and creates the culture and world I want to live in.

If you really don't want to be praised without consent I will respect those wishes but you'll need to let me know first.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#319

Post by tick_tock_tick »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?”

Few things make me want to work with someone less then passive aggressive bullshit.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#320

Post by adionionio »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #111
adionionio wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If someone tries to make me believe something that isn't true, that's as bad as a lie in my book. Avoiding telling an outright lie only serves to keep the dishonest person safe, either from their own conscience or from legal trouble.

which part of "find something about their approach that you liked " is not being understood here? Have you only seen horrible code throughout your career? Has every single thing you ever reviewed rated a 0/10 in your book? Avoid telling lies by not lying.

Sometimes I am taken aback to realize how different people can be.

It seems that you would appreciate it if other people treated you this way. Maybe most people would agree. I, however, find the behavior you endorse almost inhumanly manipulative. The notion that my coworkers would hold me in such low regard that they think I need this kind of coddling is disturbing.

I'd take shouted insults over this condescension any day. At least then I'd know where I stand.

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