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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#51

Post by BytesAndGears »

freedomben wrote: post #40
gabereiser wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Offering a different point of view helps either confirm their decisions or open up avenues for improvement of their work. It’s not about telling “this is how I would do it” but rather “Have you thought about other options and approaches? What do you think? Why did you choose this route?” helps the individual weigh the pros and cons with each. It should never be an opportunity for you to chime in with how you would ha…

to be clear, I fully agree with this and your broader point. It's the specific verbiage in your first example that I think is problematic, mainly because it feels disingenuous and insincere at best, manipulative at worst. Which is highly unfortunate because I think the vast majority of the time the motives are pure!

It’s funny because I still feel the opposite of you — I think the example where you say that you like their solution is a better approach, as long as it’s not horrible.

It leaves open the possibility that you as the reviewer are actually mistaken, and they possibly have a good reason for doing it that way.

I may be the senior reviewing the junior’s code, but they probably spent longer looking at the problem than me and there is a chance that I’m missing something. By suggesting “have you considered this, it may be able to handle x situation better”, you respect their work more.

It depends on context though, if somebody clearly just didn’t understand something obvious, then I’ll just tell them directly.

Either way, probably a difference in our opinions of feedback, you might prefer more directness than me

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#52

Post by Angostura »

user_named wrote: post #43
thenose wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not at all. The trick is to force yourself to find something about their approach that you liked. There's almost always something likable. It's also the trick to being liked in general. Not everyone cares about that, but I've found it more of an asset than a distraction.

No, it's absolutely horrible. It means you think the person you're talking to is dumb and can be manipulated with this phrasing. They see through you.

I think you have a really good point here - but have you thought about being a little less abrasive in your phrasing? It can help your point gain acceptance.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#53

Post by giantg2 »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

"they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work."

So true.

My manager was telling me it would look good if I contribute outside of the team. I recently spent maybe 15-30 minutes helping another team - not because I was told to but just because it was the right thing to do (I was the only person left with the knowledge). My manager found out then told me that I shouldn't be helping other teams without getting approval, etc. WTF?

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#54

Post by shortrounddev2 »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work

This is me. My boss lays so much on my plate that I legit get talked to when I help other people. I tell them not to tell anyone I helped them

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#56

Post by Osiris »

Angostura wrote: post #52
user_named wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it's absolutely horrible. It means you think the person you're talking to is dumb and can be manipulated with this phrasing. They see through you.

I think you have a really good point here - but have you thought about being a little less abrasive in your phrasing? It can help your point gain acceptance.

This thread is a perfect example of OPs suggestion and why it works.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#57

Post by johndhi »

I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it.

Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#58

Post by adionionio »

thenose wrote: post #15
whatshisface wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” That crosses the line by lying, I think it would be better to say "I think it would be better if you did it this way." It's bad to call them stupid or make a superfluous claim of objectivity, but you don't need to pretend to smile and praise.

Not at all. The trick is to force yourself to find something about their approach that you liked. There's almost always something likable. It's also the trick to being liked in general. Not everyone cares about that, but I've found it more of an asset than a distraction.

If someone tries to make me believe something that isn't true, that's as bad as a lie in my book. Avoiding telling an outright lie only serves to keep the dishonest person safe, either from their own conscience or from legal trouble.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#59

Post by Spooky23 »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

I think that performative praise is obnoxious most of the time, and causes more trouble than it’s worth, unless there’s a process behind it. Individual public stuff tends to bias heroics or forget people behind the scenes.

In public, team praise is the best policy.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#60

Post by grecy »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?”

Commonly called "Positive, to & try", taught to Snowboard Instructors.

i.e.

"I really like how you did that, to get even better results, try x"

(I'm being vague to not make it about snowboarding, but it's important to be concrete)

i.e.

Instead of "that took too long, make it faster", use

I really like how you got consensus in that meeting. To make it happen even faster, try outlining the pros and cons of the solution right at start of the meeting.

or

instead of "You're not bending your knees enough", use

I really like how you completed those (snowboard) turns. To get even higher performance, try bending your knees more so the edge of your snowboard bites into the snow harder.

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