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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

271–280 of 446 posts

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#271

Towards the end, the article posits that the reason men fail to attain higher levels of education is video games. I would be curious to see how the effect of video games stacks up against the effect of the significant support industry established for helping girls succeed in STEM while comparable support for boys is nonexistent.

I'll probably be downvoted to hell for this but here goes...

The state of the current education system is outright hostility towards boys. feminists (specifically third wave) long ago, infiltrated k-12 and shove their ideology down little boys throats at every level. any overt show of masculinity is treated as toxic. I don't think a lot of this pride stuff being pushed by the mainstream media right now is about accepting lgbtqa+(and whomever else I'm probably missing) members of society. Its more about instilling feminine traits onto young boys. Since there are few male teachers, the boys without a strong father figure at home never get taught how to channel their masculine energy in a healthy way. It continues to university where all the programs are geared towards the advancement of women.

Its fairly unsurprising that incel culture has grown rampant given the massive scale of male disenfranchisment. I'm lucky to have been raised in a 2 parent household with a dad who gave a damn about making sure I had educational opportunities in life. many guys out there right now weren't so lucky.

Now we're teetering towards a system where a lot of men have simply been left behind. its a recipe for societal collapse. Meanwhile we can't even build a simple high speed rail line or critical infrastructure. I fear for the future and I'm not really sure what the way out is.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I take it that your expectation is that a woman takes more care of the house?

Not really, my expectation is more general. I expect a give and a take, a natural process of finding roles, I expect a partner to do what it takes to keep a household going, you know, a partnership. I expect two people to find their strengths and act accordingly for the benefit of the family. What I think is too common is that any mention of housework has a stigma attached to it for women now and what you wind up wit…

> What I think is too common is that any mention of housework has a stigma attached to it for women now and what you wind up with is a situation where men have to fit the gender role of being a successful breadwinner and still do their own laundry.

Yet, when we actually measure things and include both professional work and home labor, women perform more labor than men in relationships.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#273
post #128
post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe? I know a lot of highly educated, successful women who wouldn't date Kevin Durant, for example. The idea of a rich man child trolling on burner accounts regardless of their high profile doesn't exactly drive them crazy. Replace Kevin Durant with Elon Musk if you're not a sports fan.

Status is subjective depending on your social circles.

If "high status" just means "people I like" then it loses all meaning and becomes a tautology. People prefer to date people that have attributes they find attractive. Those attributes vary. News at 11.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#274
I've been a serial dater for 20+ years now (38M) I've been with 70+ women, and about 10-15 of those for long term. I think more about dating dynamics than basically anyone I've ever met. I'm not sure why.

The main takeaway I see from relationships is that I'm expected to give, understand, listen, and bend to be some perfect modern man. I need to be beyond financially stable, I need to be tough, but also have some romantic comedy movie side of me. And she's expected to technically not sleep with anyone else but also I'm not allowed to think about that at all even or I'm insecure.

Whenever I start dating a woman, even if she has a good job, I feel like I'm taking on a dependent. Which would technically be fine, if I was appreciated for it. But I'm not. I'm basically chastised if I even notice that I'm giving a lot. "What, youre giving a lot? This is a lot? You must not be as good as I thought you were if this is a noticeable amount of giving to you". I'm not talking about just money. It's everything.

I can summarize my main problem with relationships via this old joke: Q: What do women want? A: More.

And that's why I won't marry and more and more won't date. I have a big enough collection of previous partners that calls me every time their bfs act up or bore them or disappoint them. Another reason to stay away from them.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#275

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is my favorite kind of scientific criticism. People who can't even access a paper just saying "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" and then moving on.

This is my favorite kind of personal attacks. Never have I said "they did not control", but here you are.

Not a personal attack. A criticism of the content of your post.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#276
post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I've had one organization call the "confederate flag" a form of racism. Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on. Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement. It was a perfect example of hiding behind the thinnest veneer of legitimacy while attacking someone. I don't doubt that many in the modern day display it out of i…

> Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on. Me either, also I'm for banning all flags in the workplace. But people who vastly generalize large swaths of the population in a negative light in an inaccurate manner is as bad. > Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement. Growing up in the south the flag is used as an region…

> Making a claim that a race hate group has taken over the flag is pretty laughable.

I mean, it is literally the flag the South flew when they seceded from the Union in the name of white supremacy. The Southern states were very clear in their secession documents, as was Confederate Vice President Alexander Stephens when he said of the Confederate government "its foundations are laid, its corner-stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition."

This isn't laughable, this is plain history. Southern culture is white supremacy, end stop. And I say this as a born and bred white Texan - that flag is a disgrace, and what it represents is a disgrace.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#277

Conversations about high income as a factor in attracting women often seem to neglect to mention that it's not enough to have a high income if you don't use it to signal wealth or to provide luxury experiences to women. Telling women you want to put your high income to work in enabling you to retire early but live a modest life and use that freedom to pursue creative pursuits doesn't have the same effect as taking th…

Are you actually offering people romantic paid for tropical getaways early on in dating to try to attract them? And does it work? Cause that sounds more like some kind of old Hollywood romcom cliche than something a lot of women really want to have thrown at them to 'win them' in the past decade. But hey, I haven't tried it!

At the height of tinder, I worked in a sales office. When we wanted a bit of a laugh, we'd troll women by asking if they would go to whatever fancy spot with us, if we paid and gave various amounts of cash as spending money. That was our opener. You'd be shocked at the success rate. Some of the more innocent coworkers thought the girls were trolling us back. So we'd ask for phone numbers, and call them on speaker phone and troll more on the phone. At that point you can't deny she was serious, no girl gives away their phone number under that scenario unless she's serious.

As days went on we'd reduce the cash, and still many would agree. We eventually tried just offering cash and still some would agree, but eventually our account got flagged and banned.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hard agree, I have no intentions of marrying let alone having children. I'm perfectly happy living my life going my way and my way alone as I see fit. Most human relations are straight bullshit and just aren't worth my time and energy in an age when there's so much to do, so much to see, and so little time. The people moaning about marriage and birth rates can go pound sand.

I respect your individual right to this attitude, but consider that the wonders you enjoy today are sustained by a population of a particular size. As populations contract, the number of places that support the activities and adventures you want to have will necessarily contract as well. Imagine a campfire, throughout the night you'll have to move the dwindling coals closer together if you can't add more wood. So, on…

A dwindling population also has lesser impact on the environment. Ironically, with your example a smaller population would also mean you have fewer people to compete with in finding a camp site and gathering firewood. In terms of long-term health of humanity on Earth a shrinking population is not necessarily a bad thing.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#279

While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article about dating here leads to such a slew of poor comments. I mean the discussion is full of entitlement, misogyny, cynicism or a mix of the three. A casual reading lends me to think that this is because this place skews rather young.

What misogyny? Women are not above criticism and most of the comments dropped here can easily be backed up by data.

Some people believe the notion that women are attracted to status is inherently a misogynist idea. When people allege misogyny and other *isms, it's often more telling about what they believe is offensive.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#280
post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I've had one organization call the "confederate flag" a form of racism. Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on. Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement. It was a perfect example of hiding behind the thinnest veneer of legitimacy while attacking someone. I don't doubt that many in the modern day display it out of i…

> Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on. Me either, also I'm for banning all flags in the workplace. But people who vastly generalize large swaths of the population in a negative light in an inaccurate manner is as bad. > Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement. Growing up in the south the flag is used as an region…

White dude, grew up in the heart of Texas, only people with Confederate flags are white supremacists.

Knew plenty of kickers with oversized pickups and 4H stickers that didn't need to fly Dixie.

Everybody who flies that flag knows what they're doing.

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