91–100 of 418 posts
My wife is my best friend (and hopefully, the reverse is true). That's the only way I can think of marriage working in the long run anyway.
- Nietzsche, who was ironically single his entire life
> 'Chesterton's fence' is the principle that reforms should not be made until the reasoning behind the existing state of affairs is understood. Marriage is the product of how many generations worth of experimenting with social contracts? You have to be either very young or lack a healthy dose of humility to think you can come up with a better system (in general, not just your case). Or, as I suspect, it's just ration…
As June rolled around today, I was just reflecting on the history of sexuality, and the philosophical shift that has occurred relatively recently, from "lifestyle" to "orientation" to "identity" and all that comes with it. People in the past did not consider themselves to have sexual orientations, to be gay or straight or something else. Even someone who was committed to a same-sex romantic relationship wouldn't have…
Also: "work spouse" https://www.google.com/search?q=work+spouse
The out is a divorce. And it’s unfortunately really common (isn’t it like 50%?). Not sure why but that’s just how it is.
So I think people worry about the legal and opportunity cost of a failed marriage.
I’ve never seen people who weren’t somewhat psychopathic who seemed fine after a divorce. Like really fine. There’s people like this one eng director guy who married four times, has like 9 kids, and now has a girlfriend. He’s a player, and that’s how he rolls. Most people however seem broken emotionally after their divorce and seem to be a shell of their former selves. Most that I know who remarried divorced again. There are a few normal happy folks but I don’t personally know any besides what I read on internet.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
How is it bizarre? It seems the same category as saying friendship is failing, which also is a reasonable claim; see the entire bowling alone thesis. I'd probably group them all under the umbrella of social connections failing, which I'd consider one of the biggest issues of US society today.
It's bizarre because it's distinctly not happening. The number of married couples in the US has been trending up since the 1960s [1] and only very recently has shown a plateau. Which is to say their doesn't seem to be any indication that "marriage is failing" i.e. there are less people in marriages. It's also notable that the rate of cohabitation has tripled over the last 20 years[2] (included because it's a worthwhi…
As an adult, friendships keep passing by. All of a sudden a good friend "gets busy" or "life just happens". I really do not believe it anymore, even if people are genuinely busy, the least they can do is spare a few seconds of their day to reply back to a text? After what can only be described as a long "sliding window" of maintaining multiple friendships, seeing one tail expire and me actively trying to build more,…
I've found most of my long-term, "deep" relationships in the U.S. to be with immigrants/foreigners. With the "generic" Americans, I can get to the point of a friendly and jolly relationship -- but it never feels like "strong bonds" are part of their value system.
For example, go to Latin America if you want a stark contrast to this. People are part of the value system.
Honestly, if my wife said I wasn't the number one person in her life then I would find that pretty disrespectful. She is my number one after all. It seems like we've failed a whole generation of adults with good examples of what a relationship should be like.
> It seems like we've failed a whole generation of adults with good examples of what a relationship should be like. ... the good examples are like your relationship I assume? In some cultures parents are number 1, and the expectation is your elderly parents outrank your wife in terms of the devotion and love you should show them. Is that disrespectful too, or does it only apply to close friends? Who are you to judge…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Traditional Catholicism. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it.” Doesn’t take more than a minute of reflection to figure out why we interpret it this way. Edit @avar to your question ("posting too fast"): https://gist.github.com/gjsman/d928b0db53cc2a4bacf37d4e45543...
I'm an atheist, but this is an honest question: does it? My understanding of catholic doctrine is that Jesus was part of the holy Trinity and knew it before he sacrificed himself. Therefore when he sacrificed himself for humanity he wasn't in the sort of personal danger or at risk of eternal damnation that a mere mortal in his shoes would be. I've always understood that as God making a grand gesture of some sort, not…
A Christian would say the same of themselves, because through Jesus, they have eternal life in Heaven.
60% of this population cheat habitually. Dating is down 60%. First-time marriages end in divorce almost half of the time, and around 80% of the time to the next marriage. Lifelong singlehood is extrapolated to be the most common relationship option in the younger generation.
Most literature on the topic of the younger generation notes that sex has been robbed of all intimacy and is about meaningless and anonymous masturbation with another's body. Relationship skills, intimacy skills, emotional intelligence are in serious decline (Twenge, Campbell, others).
This is does not seem like the hallmarks of a generation with an increased capacity to generate and form relationships of any type! Could we have possibly got something wrong with this initiative?
The author seems to have forgotten to ask what the next step in human evolution thinks about their situation!