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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#801

Post by metalliqaz »

bmn__ wrote: post #650
avmich wrote: post #624

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's kinda curious that women emphasize commitability as a desirable trait, yet they agree and understand that commits could and should be a rare thing. What about that majority of cases when a woman doesn't want a commit? People grow to sexual age in 18 and can be not committed until much later, so in between they can/should/want to have less consequential encounters, right? So what about that majority of cases, do…

> People grow to sexual age in 18 Sorry for going off on a tangent, but I think this needs correction. By that age, puberty is already over. For girls, onset of puberty is 10, reproductive maturity is 14. It could be that you mean something else, namely a related social/legal construct, but that does not seem likely to me because of the word "grow".

yeah 18 has more to do with the experience and emotional maturity necessary to navigate the society we've built than it does with biological maturity. Our private parts are ready to go long before our 18th birthday, which is obvious from the ultra hormone shot that high-schoolers get. On the other hand, full cognitive maturity isn't complete until long after that birthday. It seems almost like the line at 18 is purely for practical reasons around the need for workers than it is due to any scientific understanding of the way humans work.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#802

Post by phkahler »

voviz wrote: post #638
phkahler wrote: post #634

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been told by a few women in person that I'm really good to talk to. I disagree and think I'm average at conversation. Apparently most guys actually suck at it, at least with women. I responded to one profile by noting the lake in the background of one of her pics and asking where it was. She about fell off her chair and said I might be the only guy on there who actually reads profiles. Up your f'ing game guys, i…

What kind of bars do you go to? I don't know much about bars, but I assume some bars are meant for that kind of stuff and others aren't.

Not a club or pickup type place, just the local pubs where people eat, drink, and watch sports while seated at the bar. You can sit there and have dinner and not say anything, or choose to engage with the person next to you if they seem receptive. How to tell? Ask a question, see if they answer and make some attempt to continue - like asking something back, or telling more than a terse response.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#803

Post by [deleted] »

yieldcrv wrote: post #799
winter_blue wrote: post #797

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just like a very high Gini index (the index that measures economic inequality), results in economic suffering and pain for a significant portion of the population, the current state of affairs causes analogous (here, intimacy and lack-of-sex-related suffering) for million of the less-fortunate gender+orientation (cis heterosexual men). I'd prefer monogamy that's state-enforced[1] socially-promoted culturally-inculcat…

I disagree, but partially because I'm not sexually frustrated but I can see it happening if I get sick or poor or disfigured - which I can see as occurring all at once - so I'll entertain it for a moment. We could probably co-opt existing antitrust laws to reach this result. Probably different against the men and women as different anticompetitive practices are put into play. Funny concept, antitrust on unincorporate…

[deleted]

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#804

Post by soupxix »

zozbot234 wrote: post #693
leidenfrost wrote: post #651

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know a guy who tried to do that, but his desperation traveled alongside him. Here in Buenos Aires if there's something valued as much as looks, is spontaneity. So much, that we have the same words for "going on a date" and "hanging out". Because "a date" sounds like you are looking forwards to it and that's a turn off. You have to read the vibe to see if it's really a date or not. So, as soon as he got some attenti…

Very good point, this whole notion of "asking X out on a date" is an anti-pattern if you're genuinely trying to get to know each other socially. If you want to "date" in a formal sense, do it after the interest has been clearly reciprocated not before. Anything else really is quite creepy, and it's no surprise that people outside the U.S. will mostly reject it outright.

maybe in this or that country. in many countries, including the US, "asking X out on a date" is a perfectly normal pattern to genuinely getting to know someone socially and isn't considered "creepy" at all. in general, more people should be more forgiving, especially of foreigners, who try to get to know people socially, especially when it comes down to usage of a single word.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#805

Post by davidguetta »

pmarreck wrote: post #234

Online dating absolutely benefits "the typical female mating strategy" more than it does "the typical male mating strategy". I recommend all folks who use the latter (I intentionally phrased this non-gender-specifically) get away from online dating as it is a sucker’s game for us. You have a significantly better chance of scoring an “out of your league” partner in meatspace. If anyone doesn't believe this, make a fak…

Tinder is fine as a male if your profile don't absolutely suck. Most guys have 0 basic understanding of what to put and look like dumb lazy fucks / nice guys.

I have friends who are short and not particularly attractive and successful IRL score 60 girls a year because they put some effort into their photos and have a good attitude.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#806

Post by mikhael28 »

lechacker wrote: post #605
mikhael28 wrote: post #574

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plane ticket. Amsterdam. Look for red lights.

Transactional sex doesn't satisfy sexual loneliness. Prostitution won't solve the problem the paper is mentioning.

I'm not sure how to solve sexual loneliness. But I did give you an idea, and you haven't tried it. Maybe it's a bad idea, but it's something.

You have two options in this very limited exchange. You can a, try something new, or b don't and keep doing things the way you have always done them.

Good luck with everything champ.

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