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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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621–630 of 806 posts

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#621
post #601

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing says, "I am deeply knowledgeable about this issue; you should listen to my authoritative analysis of it" like a burner account post.

If you've nothing to say other than shallow dismissal, why bother commenting?

If you would like to list some sources for your assertions, I would be happy to demonstrate that they are extremely dubious.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#622
post #506

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But where do you find people to form clubs or whatever with? Work/school/office. Also covid wiped a lot of these out and it will take some time for them to re-appear

I have hobbies. Highly recommended!

Just for reference, what hobbies do you participate in?

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#623
post #560

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Correct. If I had a cure I might still be doing it. Like I said, some people are broken. What I've described is more fundamental. It probably will be of more assistance to people doing okay with some hangups than people whose self esteem is not in a place where flirting can be an uplifting activity. Edit: -Therapy -Dance classes (not for flirting, just having positive touch experiences)

What kind of therapy? Dance classes could be still a downlifting experience but yes, could still be beneficial, even though not by much. Some numbing could be achieved, when after downfall one reaches a plato where for some range of input conditions the output doesn't worsen.

I meant talk therapy. Therapy is tough because a good therapist is probably very expensive, and might be a major expense for someone.

Cheaper options would be trauma or addiction groups if those fit.

A lot of people have just horrible “truths” they absorbed from their upbringing that need to be deprogrammed. Framing this as a parental trauma and working through it in a group setting could be useful.

Some people have had success with MDMA or psilocybin

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#624
post #603
post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's interesting to me. I have female friends in their 30s who go on tons of dates but reject pretty much all of them for any long-term relationship. The ones they seem to be in to tend to reject them after a couple of dates. I'm not there in those interactions but I wonder how much of it is a mismatch between what you desire in a relationship and who you are attracted to in a person.

Many women struggle with how the set of men that are willing to have sex with them is a much larger set than that of men who are willing to commit to them. The size of the set intersection thereof declines precipitously as women age too.

It's kinda curious that women emphasize commitability as a desirable trait, yet they agree and understand that commits could and should be a rare thing.

What about that majority of cases when a woman doesn't want a commit? People grow to sexual age in 18 and can be not committed until much later, so in between they can/should/want to have less consequential encounters, right? So what about that majority of cases, do women still struggle when they are in the same situation - when they would have sex but unwilling to commit?

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#625
post #612

There is something messed up in modern dating. IME a girl who is a 5/10 can get a date/laid easily, with barely any effort, and usually with a more attractive male. A guy who is 5/10 has to do insane antics just to get a shot, including learn to be a standup comedian, be in great shape, have a good job, read tons of dating books, etc. I’m not sure it’s the fault of OLD, but something is messed up. It’s frankly depres…

Off balance because there are more men and they are greedy, simple as that. Perhaps find a place with more women and the tide will turn. Be grateful we’re not trapped in China after the one kid policy.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#626
post #592

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are prenups, which I believe would be wise for any couple to create (together), and especially important in this type of arrangement. As I said, this isn't through a mail order service. This is via friends of friends. The marriage would not just be for citizenship. Just like the arranged marriages I mentioned, there would be an element of matchmaking via the intermediary (the mutual friend in this case, or the…

> There are prenups, which I believe would be wise for any couple to create (together), and especially important in this type of arrangement. Judges can override prenups. I just did a little Google research, and just under 50% of prenups are invalidated during divorce.

They can't override prenups. They can invalidate prenups, or portions of the prenup for specific reasons. I couldn't find the stats that you mentioned. I would guess that number included specific provisions that were invalidates, such as custody arrangements, which are outside the scope of a prenup.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#627

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does that work? Is it an ethnicity issue?

My guess is ethnic male of average height. Attractive in his native country where his ethnicity isn't a factor and the average height is much lower.

As a tall male with some success on the apps, I find women 5'10" or more are much more likely to match me than those who are shorter. They prefer taller men and for a tall woman that reduces my competition.

Still contemplating why those apps are so terrible, but the are.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#628
post #455

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s more than 9. It’s also legal in the blue-colored countries confusingly labeled with ‘Abolitionism’. It in fact appears to be legal in most of the countries on your human trafficking list.

I don't think it is confusing and I don't think it is what you're suggesting. The wiki explicitly says that the act of prostitution is legal but the act of procuring it is illegal. Essentially you get arrested for paying for sex. The John. This is often done so that women have more of a safety net and can feel more comfortable going to police if they are abused. In other areas if you are trafficked you might feel sca…

You can check the relevant Wikipedia pages on prostitution in e.g. Spain or the UK to see that your are misinterpreting the significance of the blue keying. It is not illegal to sell sex or to pay for sex in either of these countries (or in any of the other blue countries, as far as I’m aware).

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#629
post #621

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you've nothing to say other than shallow dismissal, why bother commenting?

If you would like to list some sources for your assertions, I would be happy to demonstrate that they are extremely dubious.

Which parts of my comment do you believe are dubious, and why?

If we look at the eradication of female-only spaces, for example, the reasoning behind this is that proponents of transgenderism want women's spaces to be based on self-declared gender identity rather than sex. Where this occurs, it means that formerly female-only spaces and services now admit a mixture of males and females, as they will also include men who say they are women. Any attempts to maintain female-only spaces are shot down as being 'bigoted' and 'transphobic'.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#630
post #2

Haven't incels been talking about this for years?

Yeah, but there is a vocal subset who have made it into a hate group and they drive anyone sane away because they don't want to be associated with the hate. There's also the basic flaw of humanity that most people will look very hard indeed for others to blame before accepting that the problem is internal or just the luck of the draw and unfixable. And once someone is seduced by this they'll never address the real issue and thus the belief becomes self-perpetuating.
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