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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#601

Post by RajT88 »

poloniust wrote: post #554
wpietri wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My theory is that gay men, as well as trans women are a subversion of traditional gender roles which is why conservatives get worked up about it Exactly. The traditional gender roles come out of the tradition of patriarchal exploitation of women and subordinate men. The extreme version of this is seen in groups like the FLDS [1] and make the dynamics more apparent. But it's the same basic deal even on the softer co…

The irony of transgenderism is that it's just yet another form of patriarchal exploitation of women, in its drive to eradicate female-only spaces, in encouraging actual female women to mutilate themselves to reach some twisted ideal of masculinity, and in reifying gendered impositions as the epitome of womanhood, for the pleasure of men. Conservatives don't see it from this point of view, of course, but feminists - t…

Nothing says, "I am deeply knowledgeable about this issue; you should listen to my authoritative analysis of it" like a burner account post.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#602

Post by bmn__ »

wonderwonder wrote: post #563
bmn__ wrote: post #533

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"just be white", bro

you present this as some sort of negative? What is wrong with people being attracted to certain races? People cannot control who they find attractive and there is no racist component to it. People should be allowed to engage in relationships with whoever they want using whatever criteria they want.

> you present this as some sort of negative?

I'm glad that you formulated this as a question. The answer is no, I presented it value neutral, both by intent and expressed written form.

Now that GGP has a search term, he might soon find out more about the concept and also might admit it into his mind as real and true, as I once did.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#603

Post by User23 »

cmh89 wrote: post #93
spaniard89277 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been running online communities for years and this, as far as I can see, factual. I've read somewhere, maybe multiple times, that most men are emotionally and sexually deprived. That sounds correct given the data I have. I'm ok looking and I feel like I can make women like me. I still struggle sometimes. Many of my friends do much worse than me. I have friends that I find intellectually stimulating, average-look…

It's interesting to me. I have female friends in their 30s who go on tons of dates but reject pretty much all of them for any long-term relationship. The ones they seem to be in to tend to reject them after a couple of dates. I'm not there in those interactions but I wonder how much of it is a mismatch between what you desire in a relationship and who you are attracted to in a person.

Many women struggle with how the set of men that are willing to have sex with them is a much larger set than that of men who are willing to commit to them. The size of the set intersection thereof declines precipitously as women age too.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#604

Post by sangnoir »

justinclift wrote: post #590
sangnoir wrote: post #466

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> how? A small town 8(/10) can be an LA[0] 4 or 5. Then again a small town 10 can also be an LA 10. Samples can be biased in weird ways. 0. If you're fan of the LA aesthetic measures.

LA?

Los Angeles: 19 million people and home to Hollywood. It's to attractive people[1] what Silicon Valley is to nerds (not saying there isn't an overlap).

To be completely honest, I also incorrectly thought LA was America's plastic surgery capital - but it turns out to be Miami.

1. Who want to be in entertainment/acting, but being attractive is almost a prerequisite.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#605

Post by lechacker »

mikhael28 wrote: post #574
lechacker wrote: post #517

As a 30+ year old kissless virgin I have recently began noticing that the loneliness part has began affecting me more deeply than usual. I suppose noticing the first signs of aging in my face led to the realization of all things not-done. I've had a couple of episodes of despair in the past few months because of this. Unfortunately people like me become helpless. You'll be alone because you _are_ alone: you don't hav…

Plane ticket. Amsterdam. Look for red lights.

Transactional sex doesn't satisfy sexual loneliness. Prostitution won't solve the problem the paper is mentioning.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#606

Post by wonderwonder »

scarmig wrote: post #580
wonderwonder wrote: post #563

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you present this as some sort of negative? What is wrong with people being attracted to certain races? People cannot control who they find attractive and there is no racist component to it. People should be allowed to engage in relationships with whoever they want using whatever criteria they want.

There's a tension between the belief espoused by many on this thread that a man struggling dating is purely a matter of him being an unkempt, terrible person and the fact that arbitrary things like race can make dating a struggle.

I can agree that being a minority in a small pond can make things more difficult in regards to dating but I don't think that is anyone's fault or that anything should be done about it. I took the person I responded to as meaning that preferring a certain race or ethnicity is a negative thing. Perhaps I misunderstood their intent.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#607

Post by avmich »

OhNoNotAgain_99 wrote: post #249
spaniard89277 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been running online communities for years and this, as far as I can see, factual. I've read somewhere, maybe multiple times, that most men are emotionally and sexually deprived. That sounds correct given the data I have. I'm ok looking and I feel like I can make women like me. I still struggle sometimes. Many of my friends do much worse than me. I have friends that I find intellectually stimulating, average-look…

Without or with it leads to all kind of emotional problems. So to be alone isnt that bad. And relations are not always about sex, the most stable relations are based upon understanding and care friendship. Sure sex is something but after the kids do people still want to live like rabbits, well there much more in life than sex. The media might make you think peole have sex every day or so, thats bullshit some relation…

> Dont try to search for it, not online either, accidents just happen ;)

I would definitely recommend a more active approach. Time goes by, and can come to an end unfortunately.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#608

Post by User23 »

1659447091 wrote: post #536
PaulHoule wrote: post #407

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. But it takes time. Most importantly, women lose their ability to have children earlier than men but in their early 20s many of them are busy with other things and think they have a lot of time. They get less desirable as time goes by so when they decide to ‘get serious’ at 35 it is already getting late

If this is the case then it would seem an easy problem to solve as men looking for relationships and not getting any responses should only have to message those 35 and older.

This is a proven dating strategy for around average value men. You present yourself as a provider beta looking for commitment, approach mid 30s to 40s women, establish a bond, bang them, and then ghost and move on to the next one. That sounds like a poor way to live to me, but it definitely works.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#609

Post by wonderwonder »

bmn__ wrote: post #602
wonderwonder wrote: post #563

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you present this as some sort of negative? What is wrong with people being attracted to certain races? People cannot control who they find attractive and there is no racist component to it. People should be allowed to engage in relationships with whoever they want using whatever criteria they want.

> you present this as some sort of negative? I'm glad that you formulated this as a question. The answer is no, I presented it value neutral, both by intent and expressed written form. Now that GGP has a search term, he might soon find out more about the concept and also might admit it into his mind as real and true, as I once did.

Mentioned in another post but I think I misinterpreted your statement. Based on the search term, this appears to be a concept held by the incel community. Are you positioning it as true and if so, as a solvable problem or just a fact of life?

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#610

Post by LorenPechtel »

ocdtrekkie wrote: post #392
notch656c wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly don't know which is worse though. The 1930s fear and taboo or the 2020 divorce court take you to the cleaners, TRO issued and banned from seeing your kids and your guns taken away and then tossed in jail because you lost your job and the judge says you still owe support. I think I'd actually take the 1930s and I say that as someone who really dislikes those taboos and social pressures you mention.

So the experience I've seen is quite different: Family courts today are actually really focused on joint custody, to the extent that I guarantee you a lot of people have joint custody who probably shouldn't. If someone has a TRO and is banned from seeing their kids, there's a good chance a court has a really strong case to believe that person is violent and abusive. And I think a lot of the hostility that does come f…

TROs and sexual abuse allegations can be used as a weapon to get concessions from the other person, or simply to hurt them. They are not evaluated adequately in either direction--plenty are granted without evidence, plenty more aren't granted when warranted. The whole situation is a mess that I don't think should be handled by judges in the first place.

I don't mind alimony per se, but we use a radically wrong standard. It should not be the standard to which they are accustomed, but where they likely would have been had they not taken the years out of the labor force.

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