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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#281

Post by scarmig »

slategruen wrote: post #252
criddell wrote: post #14

Articles like this are often mostly focused on the male side of cisgendered male-female relationships. Have things not changed for women? Or how about among other types of people? Is gay sex going out of fashion too?

> Is gay sex going out of fashion too? Glad you pointed this out. As a bisexual guy, I'd like to give some input. Sex between homosexual men is definitely not getting out of fashion. As a lot of these dating apps encourage short-lived relationships, it incentivizes a lot of these men to not commit in relationships and just have "fun." On the other hand (note that this is only based on my experience), a lot of women s…

As another bi guy, dating apps have been a godsend for the LGBT community (though they've cannibalized other valuable parts of the culture, like gay and lesbian bars). It's exactly what I think most straight men imagine dating apps to be before their naivette is crushed: you hop on, exchange a couple messages with someone, and then meet up. It's pretty pleasant, and there's no sense that you have to hold onto someone forever on the basis that if you don't, it'll be months or years before you meet another person even vaguely interested. Different people have more or less success, but very few people have no success, and it's never a painful experience requiring dozens of hours of emotional labor to even meet with someone.

The contrast in experience on them versus heterosexual apps is shocking. Apps are kind of ideally suited for a relatively homogeneous population of gay men, but the bifurcated population that uses heterosexual dating apps leads to pretty bad outcomes. Particularly for men, but for women as well.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#282

Post by caeril »

ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

> Back in my dad's days,

Obesity was much lower and bodies were much healthier and more vigorous. Erectile dysfunction was much less common, and average serum testosterone levels were higher.

I guess it's uncouth to suggest that physical acts are more enjoyable with more physically attractive and capable populations, but I don't think it's something that should be discounted.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#283

Post by Minor49er »

rowanG077 wrote: post #269
heretogetout wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know why but there seems to be some outsized group of people that thrives on reducing social interactions to numbers. I remember seeing a lot of this in self-destructive subreddits (eg MGTOW). Maybe it's so they can write off self-improvement (you can't argue with math!)?

Isn't MGTOW a self-improvement sub?

MGTOW's major proponents will go out of their way to demonize women whenever they can. It's common for these people to turn towards things like RealDolls (the supposedly lifelike sex dolls) and anime starring under-aged girls. Raging Golden Eagle on YouTube is the poster boy of this kind of MGTOW advocate.

Self-improvement isn't at odds with pursuing healthy relationships with the opposite sex.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#284

Post by skohan »

mcv wrote: post #140
ptero wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People in their 20s having their own digs is, I think, a decidedly American phenomenon. In most of the poorer parts of the world (including, for example, Central and Eastern Europe), 30+ years ago younger crowd managed to have sex just fine, using dorm rooms, snatching time while parents were away, etc. My 2c.

Aren't we talking about people in their 20s? You seem to be describing teenagers. For people in their 20s, it's always been quite normal to have a job, a home, and, at some point during their 20s, to get married.

Again in the United States and to a lesser extent in the rest of the developed world. It's very common in many parts of the world for kids to live at home until they get married, unless they have to move for work.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#285

Post by xwdv »

ptero wrote: post #226
xwdv wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am willing to approach a woman I find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Unfortunately, most situations you come across attractive women are rarely appropriate. You end up having to go to events and things you don’t normally do just to gain exposure to women. It is a miserable reason to participate in these things when your only interest is in the women, not the event or hobby. And often the things you rea…

> You end up having to go to events and things you don’t normally do just to gain exposure to women. That's how it was for a long time. And, IMHO, it was not a bad setup. I certainly would not call it a miserable reason to participate in those events. For example as a youth I went to dances (which, not knowing how to dance felt very uncomfortable), "intellectual" movies and classical concerts (which, for a small-city…

Maybe it’s good if you’re just looking to rail some ass but what if you do find someone you like but now they will only be with you if you keep doing those things you don’t care about? Are you supposed to just live your whole life that way. No way. Not sustainable.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#287

Post by [deleted] »

youessayyyaway wrote: post #153
buggythebug wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"It's also boring" "These threads are always fun, because they often say more about us commenters than the subject matter." I will not quote anything else from you and leave it at that.

I stand by it. If you do find sex to be the most fulfilling part of your life, it might be worth asking where that sense of fulfillment comes from. It's probably a "who", not a "what".

[deleted]

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#288

Post by kube-system »

shrikant wrote: post #168
SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What’s the source of this?

At least for the "top 5% of men" thing, it's an oft-repeated meme on this forum. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu... In fact, it gets repeated so frequently in threads/topics like this one, that I wonder if the true origin of this "statistic" is in fact some of the... more interesting corners of Reddit/4chan.

OkCupid's blog posted similar statistics back in the day.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#289

Post by h2odragon »

gowld wrote: post #261
h2odragon wrote: post #206

Another factor: Casual sex has a high chance of resulting in legal entanglements, sooner or later. "Consent" can be withdrawn whenever convenient; making a quick fling into sexual assault.

You are saying that rape was a large portion of sex, and is going out of fashion? That would be both distressing (for the past), and encouraging for the future.

> rape was a large portion of sex,

No, that sex can now become "rape" at some future point, after the act.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#290

Post by mmastrac »

rowanG077 wrote: post #269
heretogetout wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know why but there seems to be some outsized group of people that thrives on reducing social interactions to numbers. I remember seeing a lot of this in self-destructive subreddits (eg MGTOW). Maybe it's so they can write off self-improvement (you can't argue with math!)?

Isn't MGTOW a self-improvement sub?

If it started that way, it probably ended up going down the incel hole. It's banned now, obviously.
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