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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#411

Post by maerF0x0 »

futureshock wrote: post #251

I want to throw out there that HN is not going to have the average compassion and emotional intelligence to give you good advice. You need to hire yourself a life coach or work with a therapist (which in your case would serve the same purpose). It may not seem it to you, but you are very young still. You have more growing to do and everyone needs trusted advisors. Also, the world is full of "lies" and most people bel…

> 28 is not old.

28 is approaching old for very certain things. But a career as an engineer is not one of them. There are opportunities that are lost with time, but they're also a lot fewer than someone saying they missed the boat at 28 might feel.

As a very specific example - many olympic athletes peak in 20-25, and for the most part if someone is much older than that they were already exceptional in their 20-25 range and are now riding a decline eg Michael Phelps for swimming, or as i understand it gymnasts.

IIRC there is actually research to the contrary about starting a business that 40yr olds actually have really great odds due to network, experience, maturity etc. They make up for the cliche lack of inventiveness/newness with being experienced in handling the harder things that every business encounters (setbacks, hr bombs, firing etc).

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#412

Post by giaour »

Clubber wrote: post #388
AlecSchueler wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Curious what you would consider an illegitimate career break?

Prison, at least that's how it was explained to me in the mid 90s when I started out.

Obviously this depends on the job and what someone did that landed them in prison, but that shouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker. If they are applying for a job after being released from prison, then they're trying to reintegrate and should be given a fair shake.

If a criminal record is an insurmountable hurdle for a specific role, then it would come up in a background check (which would almost certainly be a requirement for such a job), and the job posting should be explicit about the required clean criminal history. A gap in someone's resume is a pretty worthless signal for whether they've ever been incarcerated.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#413

Post by bdavis__ »

Aeolun wrote: post #298
fshr wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But what if they aren't worth more (as a dev, financially) than they think they are? They could be awful, but naively put in a ton of hours. Why do we assume people are worth more? Are we trying to make them feel better by making assumptions and potentially leading them horribly astray? Most people are supremely mediocre and there are just and many horrible devs as their are great ones.

Possible, but the balance of probablility is that they’re fairly good. This based solely on the fact they’re aware of and posting on HN. All the mediocre people I know aren’t interested enough to keep reading -much less comment on- this website.

i like your logic.

someone should ask a few HN questions instead of leetcode. "who is dang"? "did you read the latest from the lego sorter guy ?"

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#414

Post by giaour »

qkls wrote: post #325
swiftcoder wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hang on, you are going to penalise someone for taking time off to get clean... presumably on the basis that it's better they come to work hiding the fact that they are high, than that they get help?

How would I even know they are clean? And if they are clean and they presumably have a greater chance of a relapse than other random candidates.

> And if they are clean and they presumably have a greater chance of a relapse than other random candidates.

That's skirting uncomfortably close to discriminating based on medical history or a disability, which may be illegal depending on where the employer is located. Cancer survivors have a much higher chance of recurrence than others do of developing cancer for the first time, but most would probably balk at denying a job to someone whose cancer was in remission because there's a higher chance they'd need extended medical leave in the future.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#415

Post by kayodelycaon »

qkls wrote: post #303
AlecSchueler wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Curious what you would consider an illegitimate career break?

Substance abuse related career breaks. At least recent.

In the US it is generally illegal to ask about an employee's medical history in the US due to ADA. Psychiatric care is considered medical care.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#416

Post by giaour »

susodapop wrote: post #296
AlecSchueler wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Curious what you would consider an illegitimate career break?

Jail time.

If you're worried about a criminal history, do a background check.

This heuristic would miss people who lie about "consulting" during the time they were in jail and would incorrectly catch someone who was falsely accused and then exonerated.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#417

Post by i_am_proteus »

feanaro wrote: post #200
colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

Aside from the "fired and couldn't find another job" and "had personal problems that prevented him from working angles," there's also the possibility that said employee lives well within his means and can take large blocks of time away from full-time work if he chooses.

Which means that said employee could walk away from the company if he's dissatisfied. The company would rather have someone who needs the paycheck— he'll put up with more.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#418

Post by L_Rahman »

feanaro wrote: post #200
colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

Echoing this to say I took a full two years off and came back to a 30k raise and that too as a product manager - meaning no hard skills to show in a leetcode type setting. The right team will always understand why you had to take a break. In my case, the first year was for post burnout travel and personal time, the second to recover from a difficult bout of covid. No one blinked at the situation.

OP, if your financial position allows it, consider taking as much as six months off. I don't know what part of the world you are, but a big change in geography and culture and people around you will probably help break your rut. Consider taking a long trip out to somewhere affordable and sunny and give yourself permission to do nothing but walk around.

Email is my profile bio if you want tips on how to plan something like this.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#419

Post by LargeWu »

Get out of that situation immediately.

Find a situation with: 1. Sane expectations 2. A good team around you

One option might be to go be a contractor for a while. In the current climate you'll have lots of opportunity at unflashy but stable, large corporations. There will not generally be an expectation of overtime; if there is, you'll get paid for every hour of it. Anybody that can reasonably demonstrate their technical skills and ability to get along with others can be working somewhere new in 3 weeks.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#420

Post by yCombLinks »

ajkjk wrote: post #396
feanaro wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

I have a three year gap in my resume and getting a good tech job afterwards was EASY. If anything it made me more employable because people tend like people who do more than write code all day. (Of course the lack of career progression was probably a net disadvantage in terms of raw money-making ability, but I don't care about that). Incidentally I like to also tell people who are a bit behind the times that these da…

I think of tattoos completely differently than you. I only have one(small, not visible). I view it more as a group identification than any sort of interesting personality. I've met plenty of boring people covered in tats. I also know and spend time with several interesting people covered in tats. It's more of a social identifier.
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