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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
191–200 of 521 posts
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
>Hone a hobby definitely. I would highly recommend creating something. Woodwork, metalwork, sculpting, crochet... whatever. It uses the brain in a completely different way. it creates new challenges and the satisfaction of physically manipulating the world is unequal in the digital world.
Would you recommend this over sports?
Why not combine them ? - personally mountain biking + photography. My brother does boat restoration + sailing etc.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#193[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#194Others have already offered the more obvious advice, so I'll just add something a bit weird: I've started taking swing dancing classes and it's good fun. I meet people (some of which are women!) and it takes me out of my head. It's good active sort of relaxation.
I've noticed that a lot of programmers are into swing dancing, about 1 in 2 men I talk to at social dancing are in software in some way.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#195You think you wasted your twenties? When I was your age I was cleaning window blinds and dropping out of college, and I was yet to waste 4 years as a massage therapist. Got my first real job at 32. Now I’m almost fifty and finally enjoying life. All this to say there’s so much life ahead of you and it can take you a million places if you let it.
For real.
I’m with the Romans, 18 might be the age we let you drink but you shouldn't consider yourself an adult until at least 25. If you're 28 and worried you've wasted anything... Wow.. you're literally only in your third year of adulthood.
At 25 I chose to quit a job to focus on my degree, finally a solid adult risk-decision. At 28 I had graduated and been staying on to publish a paper based on my thesis, and I disproved my thesis, and I made the sober decision to quit that career and pursue a different one—and to uproot my life to pursue the girl who is now my wife. You can say that the first decision was undone by the second I guess, but I still feel proud of it, just how I made the decision and followed through and took a risk and made ends meet. I just entered my 13th year of adulthood and I am still learning so much, haha, I can't imagine now thinking “It’s all over!“ at only year 3.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#196You should definitely check out Dave Crenshaw's Time Management Fundamentals course [0]. It's effectively free, since LinkedIn Learning has a 30 day free trial and the course takes only two sittings to do.
I was blown away by how effective this course was at fixing for me some of the same problems you're describing. And, it's awesome that you see that you have a problem. That's what you need to have the motivation to change things.
[0] https://www.linkedin.com/learning/time-management-fundamenta...
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#197[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#198Here's what works for me:
1. Never work more than 40 hrs a week. I actively look for jobs that are laid back yet challenging enough.
2. Spend a ton of time with my dog: This might not work for you if you aren't an animal person, but just look at them, they do mundane things and they are perfectly happy with their lives. It is very inspiring.
3. Memento mori - Recently I had to deal with a health issue which can significantly alter my quality (or quantity) of life. I am still discovering what this disease is, but ever since I found that I have doubled down on enjoying life. Never ever underestimate the importance of having fun (Watch Randy Pausch's last lecture).
4. Self esteem : Always remember nobody is perfect. There are people who work their entire life for minimum wage jobs and yet don't complain about life. I would highly recommend volunteering - I have spent hours of my time serving meals to homeless people and just talking to them, it gives me a different perspective in life. As low as you might feel, you are probably still doing better (financially) than 90% of the world. Also, don't try to be your smartest self, try to be your kindest self. Being smart is overrated and being kind is highly underrated.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#199If you have the inclination and the cash, I really recommend a psychologist. If you think trauma might play a part .. EMDR qualified psychologist FTW.
Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around
#2001. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…
> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume.
On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving.
Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?