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A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

jakobgreenfeld.com

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Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#331

Post by sivers »

(I'm the guy he refers to in that post.)

If anyone reading this builds software like this, and releases it publicly, whether free or for sale, please let me know. I'd be happy to send people your way.

Because of https://sive.rs/dbt I get a few emails a week from strangers, asking if my software is public yet, or if not, what else I would recommend. (And I might never make my software public. It's too tied-in to my now-complex PostgreSQL system of everything.)

I'm definitely going to send people to Jakob's post here now. But if interested in this subject, please email me here:

https://sive.rs/contact

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#332

Post by sivers »

genezeta wrote: post #87

Derek Sivers seems kinda cool. I mean, I used to read him back in the times of CDBaby and he seemed like a nice person. Of course, I can only say he seems so because I haven't really met him. I don't know him. Later, I would receive some of his emails and while they always did feel honest and thoughtful, I always understood we'd never even talked to each other. Sometimes I could think it was "just a commercial email"…

Thanks for this feedback. For what it's worth, the “keep in touch with hundreds” system I describe in this post is not the one you've encountered me using. It sounds like you're just on my list, as you said.

The “keep in touch” approach is more for the people you meet in-person, say if you go to conferences and meet 50 people in a weekend, or are out working as a musician constantly meeting fellow music industry people while on the road.

It's different than the “broadcast → follow” relationship.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#333

Post by avgcorrection »

dvh1990 wrote: post #268

I get why someone may need tools like this, especially if they are in sales or a similar profession, but I can't help thinking how disingenuous this is. Moreover, it's easy for me to sniff out and block people who try to keep me "engaged" with systems like this. If you want to engaged me, I hope you have a specific reason to do so. If I want to engage you I will just do it and you can bet that I won't waste your time…

Sales wants to sell you something. This guy wants to get in contact with people for its own sake.

One could imagine a salesperson just thinking about a potential customer and then calling them immediately. No CMS involved. Just like how you could randomly think of a friend and call them. The respective motivations are still the same.

The “just do it” distinction is meaningless w.r.t. intent. You’re just being uncharitable.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#334

Post by weka »

kator wrote: post #205

Interesting way to approach it, my approach might be less technical, when someone comes to mind randomly, I just txt them with: Hey, you just popped into my mind, I hope all is well with you and yours! It's simple, lightweight, and you'd be shocked how often the other person pings back. My completely un-scientific view is that most people think of others once in a while. Perhaps we're too busy to reach out, or the gu…

Yeah this works great until you realize you're the one _always_ initiating and they say "Wow thanks for getting in touch" and you don't talk to them for another 3 years.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#335

Post by avgcorrection »

mb_72 wrote: post #109

Hmmm, I would never use such a system as for one thing - if people aren't contacting me, why should I care about contacting them? I have several 'best friends', maybe twice that 'friends', and then a bunch more I interact with sometimes, and I feel this is relatively normal. Also, I don't care actually if it's not normal, and don't feel I'm missing out on anything. That said, I'm quite the introvert and generally val…

> if people aren't contacting me, why should I care about contacting them?

If they utilize the same philosophy then you will never contact each other.

Solve the problem by only contacting 50% of them.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#336

Post by acwan93 »

post-it wrote: post #266
notreallyserio wrote: post #211

The biggest reason I don't maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I'm either embarrassed about my behavior or concerned that my shittiness is what led to our relationship in the first place. In any case, I find it's easier (and emotionally satisfying) to stay in touch with a couple people that I can have natural, unforced conversations with. Scheduling interactions on a…

I hate when a service normally sends emails from Service Name, but then once in a while they send an email from Firstname Lastname to make it look personal. It's not going to work, but it sure is annoying.

There’s a CRM of some sort that sends emails I’ve received that even mentions a nearby restaurant or point of interest in its emails. It’s trying so hard to be personal it’s laughable.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#337

Post by thelettere »

vorpalhex wrote: post #311
nefitty wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of the most powerful life hacks I've discovered is management of rejection sensitivity/expectation of rejection. CBT can help. Also, surprisingly, Tylenol... https://www.healthline.com/health-news/mental-tylenol-ingred...

Be very skeptical of healthline and treat them like an actively malicious source. They have supported batshit insane nonsense in the past. In this case they did not even link to the study! They literally only have a link to the magazine's description. Several searches haven't yielded the study they are referencing either, only more content farms running the same story.

I agree about healthline but this is an established finding in psychology. Not sure how you're searching, but this is a review that mentions it: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/096372141142945...

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#338

Post by binkHN »

vorpalhex wrote: post #305
eatbitseveryday wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hm interesting. I’ve actually gotten these types of messages before, and now they seem strange. My replies were enthusiastic but did not lead to anymore than a shallow interaction, so I felt it was a waste of my time. Perhaps my cynical view, but I don’t want to be used for someone else’s need to feel like they’re connecting with someone when they’re not interested in more than a hello and hope you’re well. Those are…

Sometimes shallow interactions are fine. Like bread in your diet, there's nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't the only interaction. It's an opportunity for engagement. Sometimes nobody wants to take the opportunity but it's valuable to have. If you want it to be more engaging, make it so. Ask questions in return, share good responses. "How are you?" can be answered in one word or several paragraphs.

I concur with this. In my experience, more often than not, something unexpected comes up in the reply. This leads to significantly greater interaction and, sometimes, a follow up phone call to further the connection.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#339

Post by nefitty »

vorpalhex wrote: post #311
nefitty wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of the most powerful life hacks I've discovered is management of rejection sensitivity/expectation of rejection. CBT can help. Also, surprisingly, Tylenol... https://www.healthline.com/health-news/mental-tylenol-ingred...

Be very skeptical of healthline and treat them like an actively malicious source. They have supported batshit insane nonsense in the past. In this case they did not even link to the study! They literally only have a link to the magazine's description. Several searches haven't yielded the study they are referencing either, only more content farms running the same story.

Oops, sorry. I had no idea. I'll keep that in mind.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#340

Post by overvale »

weka wrote: post #334
kator wrote: post #205

Interesting way to approach it, my approach might be less technical, when someone comes to mind randomly, I just txt them with: Hey, you just popped into my mind, I hope all is well with you and yours! It's simple, lightweight, and you'd be shocked how often the other person pings back. My completely un-scientific view is that most people think of others once in a while. Perhaps we're too busy to reach out, or the gu…

Yeah this works great until you realize you're the one _always_ initiating and they say "Wow thanks for getting in touch" and you don't talk to them for another 3 years.

Yeah, this happens to me a lot. But I’ve accepted that’s the price to be paid for keeping in touch with certain people. Of course, there are plenty of times when I decide it’s not worth it to be the only one who reaches out.
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