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A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

jakobgreenfeld.com

261–270 of 510 posts

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#261
post #238
post #205

Interesting way to approach it, my approach might be less technical, when someone comes to mind randomly, I just txt them with: Hey, you just popped into my mind, I hope all is well with you and yours! It's simple, lightweight, and you'd be shocked how often the other person pings back. My completely un-scientific view is that most people think of others once in a while. Perhaps we're too busy to reach out, or the gu…

I do something similar, and actually wrote an app to help recently. It goes one step further by allowing you to specify different messages that it can use at random. The landing page for the app is at http://communiqai.com .

The flopping in animations on this are really annoying in my opinion. It makes me think the product will be equally annoying to my friends so I didn't sign up even though the concept interests me.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#262
post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it nice, if it's not spammy. Two relatively distant friends starting do a quarterly "newsletter" of their projects and I found myself getting in touch with them more often. Same with strangers on social media. Often good things happen when you 'just go for it'.

Yeah, a big part of being social is about stifling the expectation of rejection. No one is going to yell at you for asking how their day was. No one is going to call the cops if you send them a text "Hey, wanted to catch up. How's your week going? I saw this super insightful comment by nefitty on HN about being social and it made me realize we hadn't talked in a bit."

Just wait until everyone is doing this though!

The next Ask HN thread will be: "How to deflect all these people who suddenly want to stay in touch or keep texting me every 3 weeks on the dot"

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#263
post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do something similar, and actually wrote an app to help recently. It goes one step further by allowing you to specify different messages that it can use at random. The landing page for the app is at http://communiqai.com .

The flopping in animations on this are really annoying in my opinion. It makes me think the product will be equally annoying to my friends so I didn't sign up even though the concept interests me.

I will work on that! Thank you for the feedback!

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Business relationships are personal relationships. I maintain them even when I change companies or when I don’t presently work in the field. Relationships exist on a continuum from close friends to acquaintances.

To me a business relationship is a business where you don't really care about the person but about the business/work potential. Of course you can make personal relationships in business, but those are different things. And yes, "relationship" technically includes any kind of relation between two persons, but I think the context makes it clear that I'm talking mostly about friendships. And I really don't think one can…

> And yes, "relationship" technically includes any kind of relation between two persons, but I think the context makes it clear that I'm talking mostly about friendships.

Well, no, a relationship is a relationship and a friendship is a friendship. Both the original post and the discussion are about maintaining contacts with people which is broader than strictly friendship.

> To me a business relationship is a business where you don't really care about the person but about the business/work potential. Of course you can make personal relationships in business, but those are different things.

I don’t see things this way. Business relationships remain interpersonal relationships. While these relationships keep a level of formality and distance they remain meaningful. I will send a card for meaningful events in the life of the customers and coworkers I have known for a long time. It is never strictly economical.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#266

The biggest reason I don't maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I'm either embarrassed about my behavior or concerned that my shittiness is what led to our relationship in the first place. In any case, I find it's easier (and emotionally satisfying) to stay in touch with a couple people that I can have natural, unforced conversations with. Scheduling interactions on a…

I hate when a service normally sends emails from Service Name, but then once in a while they send an email from Firstname Lastname to make it look personal. It's not going to work, but it sure is annoying.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#267
post #210
post #205

Interesting way to approach it, my approach might be less technical, when someone comes to mind randomly, I just txt them with: Hey, you just popped into my mind, I hope all is well with you and yours! It's simple, lightweight, and you'd be shocked how often the other person pings back. My completely un-scientific view is that most people think of others once in a while. Perhaps we're too busy to reach out, or the gu…

Exactly. Agree with this. I think we come to terms at a certain point that its impossible to stay in touch with everyone. I actually kept a table with people to stay in touch with them every: - month - quarter - 6 months - a year (if its less then you remember anyways) I quickly killed that approach, because people who genuinely understand overwhelm also are always happy to catch-up once in a while and we hold no har…

I don't know what it is in me or how it got there, but I seem to be thoroughly convinced that I'll only be bothering people. When I rationally think about it, even emotionally, I disagree, yet I cannot shake the instinctual feeling.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#268
I get why someone may need tools like this, especially if they are in sales or a similar profession, but I can't help thinking how disingenuous this is.

Moreover, it's easy for me to sniff out and block people who try to keep me "engaged" with systems like this.

If you want to engaged me, I hope you have a specific reason to do so.

If I want to engage you I will just do it and you can bet that I won't waste your time on idle chit-chat.

Otherwise, I have friends and family that don't get enough of my time as it is.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#270

I get why someone may need tools like this, especially if they are in sales or a similar profession, but I can't help thinking how disingenuous this is. Moreover, it's easy for me to sniff out and block people who try to keep me "engaged" with systems like this. If you want to engaged me, I hope you have a specific reason to do so. If I want to engage you I will just do it and you can bet that I won't waste your time…

I could see this being useful for friends that I haven't seen or don't have the opportunity to see. When I was in school, I interned in a few different states over the Summers, working with and meeting a ton of great people. We aren't best friends by any means, but I'd like to know how Chris is doing, ya know? We both know we're just acquaintances at this point, but I like catching up with them once and a while, and it's easy to forget otherwise.

> If I want to engage you I will just do it and you can bet that I won't waste your time on idle chit-chat.

Probably a difference in personality between us, since I find the idle chit-chat kind of nice, but I can absolutely understand being on the other end.

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