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Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

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Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#501

Post by gaws »

veb wrote: post #282
thrown wrote: post #83

> short guys looking for girlfriends > All the "normal" people Lol thanks. I used to have self-confidence issues because I'm short. Spent a lot of time at university feeling sorry for myself, unable to make friends or see myself as worthy of a girlfriend. Eventually realised that it's mostly in my head. I got over my self-esteem issues, went out and spoke to a stranger (ikr isn't that crazy?!) and he became my best f…

Many years ago I used to be really conscious of my hearing aids - badly so. A few years before I got my cochlear implant I ingested six tabs of LSD and a friend drove me around all night (still one of my best friends to this day, we met in intermediate) and he just let me chill and have those amazing "mind blown" moments. One moment that I'll remember forever was the fact that nobody cares if you're deaf, or have hea…

So your solution is ... do drugs?

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#502

Post by dominotw »

treis wrote: post #426
kinnth wrote: post #67

I have often been told im good at making friends and I think you can make them anytime, anywhere, anyhow, the first thing to focus on is your personal mindset and build from there: 1. Just say yes. When someone asks for anything, say yes, no matter how big or small (help them move out, look after their dog) This will put you into novel situations. 2. Show genuine interest in things. Ask why, learn more, dig deeper, k…

> I'm about to go to Thailand to learn how to become a yoga teacher, not for a career but for a disciplined adventure that will deeply enrich me and is nowhere near a computer! As someone who has spent 3+ years backpacking around the world the Eat Pray Love life changing experience is 99% bullshit. Travel is fun. That's why I did it. But life changing? Nope. Came back and life was pretty much the same except that my…

> Came back and life was pretty much the same

GP said "disciplined adventure" so they might be on a path to become a yoga instructor ? Like actually develop a passion for yoga and teach people when they come back home.

> who has spent 3+ years backpacking around the world

Looks like what you were doing was something different. You were just wandering around with no specific goal or discipline ?

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#503

Post by gaws »

magicroot75 wrote: post #485
shetill wrote: post #367

Earlier quoted context omitted.

as a short man myself I agree that simply changing location or target audience can get you a partner. However it's not about how you see yourself and how confident you are so much, people will subconsciously judge you anyway and have more affinity to taller people than you. Nothing you can do about that. Just accept some people will like you and most won't.

As a 5'3 guy who is socially active I have a few nuances to add. It's not that people or even women won't like you. Women, even tall women will like you. They may even think you're cute or attractive. However, they will likely not be interested in dating you. Women tend to have an ability to see a man as valuable even if he's not "dateable."

> Women, even tall women will like you.

Not at the start. Most women are not attracted to manlets. Women enjoy dressing up and wearing heels. The last thing a woman wants is to tower over the manlet in photographs.

One can't change genetics, but focusing on other things, like improving one's net worth, will make him more atteactive.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#504

Post by gaws »

rr808 wrote: post #135

> Still, I'm only in my 30s, and it feels like my life is pretty much done. Doing things by myself is boring and depressing, and getting into a group of "normal" friends, of both genders, to hang out and laugh with, seems like an impossible goal. Wait 'til your forties, its like this except you're fatter, uglier and no one wants to hire you any more.

> Wait 'til your forties, its like this except you're fatter, uglier and no one wants to hire you any more.

If you're not a manager or retired in your 40s you might as well not work.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#505

Post by gaws »

rileyphone wrote: post #43

Honestly, I recommend psychedelics - no other “simple fix” will be as effective in helping you spin the thread of your life. I mean, get out there and try new things, but coming to this realization through your own impetus on a trip will be much more effective than comments here your brain will inevitably dismiss in a second. Just a thought!

> Honestly, I recommend psychedelics - no other “simple fix” will be as effective in helping you spin the thread of your life.

Does Amazon Prime two-day ship LSD? No? Well, this advice doesn't work for a majority of people.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#506

Post by gaws »

knut5 wrote: post #97

Walk over there and introduce yourself. Bring some beers -- don't over think it. If you need a joke to break the ice here ya go: `why do mermaids wear seashells on their breasts? it's because the A and B "shells" are too small!" Get over there!! Don't let Sour Grapes define you! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes

It only takes one Very On Twitter Person to make a thread of the encounter, and OP becomes a laughingstock: Seashell Steve.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#508

Post by gaws »

Animats wrote: post #312

First, get through the coronavirus epidemic. We're barely past the peak of omicron. It's starting to look like that will be over in the US in March.[1] Then more stuff will resume full operation. Clubs, live theater, gyms, martial arts, universities. Personally, I've had horses for most of my adult life, and I've met many people that way. I know more horse people than technical people. [1] https://ig.ft.com/coronavir…

> Then more stuff will resume full operation. Clubs, live theater, gyms, martial arts, universities.

Nope. Many people remain unvaccinated, and the next variant will keep the status quo. Rinse and repeat into the summer, fall, winter.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#509

Post by gaws »

brightball wrote: post #123

I don’t know if this answer will appeal to you or not but…consider visiting a local church, especially one that has an adult Sunday school class. There’s usually a lot of nice people, active singles classes with activities, opportunities to give back and volunteer, meet other people and learn. I know people respond with various degrees of emotion to a suggestion like that, but in my experience it’s usually the place…

OP has a very specific type of woman he wants to meet, and he sure as hell won't meet them in church.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#510

Post by gaws »

RomanPushkin wrote: post #281

The easy fix (IMO) is to go to Ukraine (easiest for US citizens), work from this location for a bit, and start attending parties/events/etc, and start talking to strangers on the streets. You'll be surprised how many male/female friends you can make in one week, and how much is going on. People are extremely friendly to English-speaking folks. I'd recommend Kiev, but I imagine Lviv is the greatest place as well.

OP will also make a ton of friends, get ripped, and have a purpose by enlisting in the defense force and fighting off the Russians.
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