241–250 of 281 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Lynch mob" in this case is people talking abput their own experiences.
People can talk about their own experience without "naming and shaming" other people.
And when it comes to abuse, the result of being outed as abuser is shame generally.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Your response to that problematic event seems like dealing with trauma and some of the words you use like “our society has become […] significantly more feminized” seem to indicate some of those issues are still unresolved. While I appreciate that you turned this into a positive, I don’t think violence and tough love is something we should promote, celebrate or even tolerate as a society. Here is a crazy thought: how…
My statement on the feminization of society doesn't come from trauma. Global testosterone levels have been dropping for decades[1]. You can see it in old pictures: men were less fat, more competitive, and happier. Rates of sex and relationships among men and young boys have dropped precipitously. Speaking anecdotally, I feel most fulfilled when I embrace my masculine side and focus it on positive pursuits. Competitio…
Can you list some examples for that? It just doesn't match my experience. When people complain about masculine behavior, it's never the productive kind.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
My knee-jerk reaction to your statement that you're no longer in contact with your parents was "good!" There's something about your story that really, deeply fucking bothers me. I think its the part where you're taken from your home in the middle of the night. I can't adequately describe how that makes me feel, and I wonder why. I'm sorry that happened to you. Regarding the silver lining, as it were, do you think you…
Yeah it's tough. I don't think my partents are terrible people. They are products of their own trauma and struggles and stuff. At the end of the day the relationships were just bringing a lot fo negativity into my life and I just didn't have the energy for it. In terms of the other ways to produce my experience without the downsides, absolutely yes and if I have kids I intend to try to do exactly that. They would hav…
I think that doing it yourself (or participating at some capacity) is so much better than letting a third party you don't even know take custody of your kids for some months. The possibility for abuse is staggering.
But perhaps just joining boy scouts is cool?
I went to one of these places when I was 13. Same thing, picked up in the middle of the night, and sent to a wilderness program that turned into 18 months of boarding school. The school was burnt down by the students a few years after I left and I got a couple thousand dollars in a class action lawsuit when it came out that they were hiring unlicensed therapists and admitting students who should have been in intensiv…
My reaction to these kinds of things (see also: the abuse of the Battle School students in Ender's Game ) is to think: (1) Perhaps it was the best way to teach certain things; but (2) I don't think the people who do such things usually rule out all the gentler methods first. It sounds like the "challenges" weren't necessarily intended to teach you what you learned, and you just happened to have a mind and mindset tha…
Another comment here talked how Canadian indigenous children were subject to this treatment for over a century https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27559649 and this wasn't made in the best interest of the victims.
And anyway, I don't believe in having institutionalized "tough love" could ever work. This kind of institution often attract sadistic people, that enjoy making the kids suffer.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I went through Marines boot camp and that was a ton of verbal and psychological abuse. There were very clear restrictions on physically assaulting recruits -- if a recruit entered within five feet? of a Drill Instructor, they could consider it an attack on their person and physically react -- so the DIs would spread their arms out and run at us to force us into their "engagement zone". I saw a guy piss himself from t…
Sorry you went through that. I can only speak for myself and what I understand to be the norm. I know many countries’ boot camps still believe in the lie that abuse makes someone better. When/where was your boot camp?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I didn’t like Ender’s Game and it’s portrayal of military boot camp. I had no idea what the training in Enders Game was about besides bullying and cruelty and very simplistic tactics. I went through US military training in the early 90s. A lot of it was bullshit but the intent was clear to weed out those who cannot handle an incredible amount of stress while you get little sleep or rest. There was no physical or verb…
I went through Marines boot camp and that was a ton of verbal and psychological abuse. There were very clear restrictions on physically assaulting recruits -- if a recruit entered within five feet? of a Drill Instructor, they could consider it an attack on their person and physically react -- so the DIs would spread their arms out and run at us to force us into their "engagement zone". I saw a guy piss himself from t…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I asked a psychologist (Dr. Judith Bernstein) if it's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and she answered unequivocally, "Trauma never makes you stronger." In a similar vein, with respect to "there are no atheists in foxholes", A three-tour-of-duty-in-Vietnam captain in the US Army (Harry McMenamin) said, "I was an atheist when I was in Vietnam, and I was in a lot of foxholes. There are atheists in f…
Post traumatic growth begs to differ.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I went through Marines boot camp and that was a ton of verbal and psychological abuse. There were very clear restrictions on physically assaulting recruits -- if a recruit entered within five feet? of a Drill Instructor, they could consider it an attack on their person and physically react -- so the DIs would spread their arms out and run at us to force us into their "engagement zone". I saw a guy piss himself from t…
FYI https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/marine-drill-inst... https://taskandpurpose.com/news/marine-drill-instructors-les...
> After a third spin, Bourmeche said, he feared for his life and renounced his religion. The drill instructors then let him out, he said.
He only got 10 years for that? What a farce. He should hang. That's a depraved attack on the core values of the nation he's supposed to be protecting.
That's how well tough love worked out for us.