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My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

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Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#441

Post by SamReidHughes »

julianlam wrote: post #278
epicureanideal wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes character assassination is coordinated. I personally only slightly increase the probability of something being true when multiple accusers come forward. I still want to see proof. What if a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?

If a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together to assassinate your character, then between all of those separate relationship, there was only one common factor, you. A coordinated release in my opinion reinforces the statement.

It isn't a bunch, it's one other person, and she says he's a shitty ex-boyfriend.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#442

Post by orwin »

suifbwish wrote: post #87
JPKab wrote: post #27

Jon Pretty sounds like a complete creep and yes, based on this account, a predator. That being said, there is a court and criminal justice system for a reason. While I empathize with the author, and utterly despise the archetype of high-status men who use their status within programming communities as a tool to target women, I find the nature of these kinds of posts to be counterproductive. Therapeutic to the author?…

It’s the modern day equivalent of being accused of witchcraft. You get a trial but good luck getting your reputation back. People are trained not to doubt this sort of thing end assume guilt, then when confronted they rattle off some supposed statistical fact that it’s virtually impossible for the accuser to be lying.

Ok, my sister was raped by her boss, was found in her appartment three days later my father, who immediately called a lawyer (female, specialized in criminal law). She told my sister that since they were only two in the kitchen with no surveillance camera, she couldn't sue but only report (its called "main courante" in my country) and "hope" that another girl is raped before 2039 and report it. The policeman concurred, nothing to be done.

I still shout "rapist owned" each time i pass his business, as do my brother and my father, my sister privately shared her story with his daughter on facebook last year (his daughter is one year younger than my sister, the creep), basically destroying their relationship, and the cooking school my sister went to directly called all female student and ex-student to tell them to avoid his restaurant. I also scraped social networks (only public data, nothing illegal) for his activities two years ago but only found business contacts. Each of them still received a nice email though.

I will move back next month, so i will continue my shouting campaign harder after the pandemic end and hope his business can't survive covid. Since his restaurant will be between my place and the place i keep my boat, i'm pretty sure i can be successful.

-----------

Honestly i can't say i will ever stop stalking him even if he had to sell his business. I'm thinking of sending him accusing emails on temp email accounts (scripted of course, my sister got herself back in one piece after a year and a half, and i even think she is now way stronger than she used to, i won't waste that much time for him).

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#443

Post by suifbwish »

analognoise wrote: post #419
faitswulff wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

+1 but especially our boys. Girls and women already learn so much about how to avoid being harmed by men. It’s time for our boys to learn how to become kind men - and for those of us who are men to model that for them.

Doesn't this remove agency from women? If two adults get together, fly together, get a room together, drink wine together, have relations... Then we're supposed to say that consent can't be given because the woman is drunk. But they're both drunk. Isn't it essentially the patriarchy to say that a woman can't make that choice? Like if they're equals and they're both drunk, why do we blame the men? Because they aren't…

Yes

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#444

Post by wott »

retrac wrote: post #186
eloff wrote: post #36

> I don’t remember how much I drank. I don’t remember him drinking. But I remember feeling uncomfortable when he made advances on me. I felt being taken advantage of that he had unprotected sex with me when I was intoxicated. Nothing felt right. I remember panicking and crying. I don't want to victim blame here because this guy sounds like a grade A creep and predator. But does a person not have some responsibility h…

The front door of one's home always seemed a good analogy to me. Is it good practice to lock your front door, on the assumption that some people are malicious and will take advantage and rob you if you don't? With particular caution suggested in some areas? Yes. Is someone who is robbed when they did not lock their front door responsible for the crime in some sense? No, not really. A normal human failing to carry out…

The analogy is shaky, because 'crime' notwithstanding, good luck with getting anything from your insurance if:

1. there was no breaking in;

2. you didn't take minimum precautions to protect your door (a 3-point lock is often required) and other openings.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#446

Post by baobabKoodaa »

GavinMcG wrote: post #429
PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #311

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The author doesn't appear to want to make the claim that Mr. Pretty raped her. She suggests, strongly, that he's a shitty person. She wants other people to know this. Courts don't adjudicate such matters, unless they have further consequences.

"Insist[ing] on having intercourse regardless of me saying I didn’t want to" is rape.

"Insisting" on sex does not mean sex happened. If you're a shitty person and ask another person "come on have sex with me", and the other person says "no", and then you don't have sex, are you now a rapist?

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#447

Post by SamReidHughes »

joe5150 wrote: post #310
epicureanideal wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes character assassination is coordinated. I personally only slightly increase the probability of something being true when multiple accusers come forward. I still want to see proof. What if a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?

why would they be motivated to do that?

Because he opposed Typelevel and defended Jon De Goes: https://twitter.com/propensive/status/1170098818286784512

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#448

Post by ummonk »

DonHopkins wrote: post #390
ummonk wrote: post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Central Park five voluntarily confessed and were almost certainly guilty. The only issue was that there was a sixth perpetrator who had raped the victim after and wasn’t caught at the time.

"Almost certainly guilty," huh? Citations please? Are you talking about a DIFFERENT "Central Park Five" than the ones who were exonerated? Or are you just ironically quoting Trump? Do you agree with him that hate is what we need if we're gonna get something done? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case >From the outset the case was a topic of national interest, with the commentary on social issues evol…

Good that you linked the Wikipedia article. It has a good description of the case: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case#Armst...

"In its January 2003 Armstrong Report, the panel "did not dispute the legal necessity of setting aside the convictions of the five defendants based on the new DNA evidence that Mr. Reyes had raped the jogger."[103] But it disputed acceptance of Reyes's claim that he alone had raped the jogger.[103][104] It said there was "nothing but his uncorroborated word" that he acted alone.[103] Armstrong said the panel believed "the word of a serial rapist killer is not something to be heavily relied upon."[103]

The report concluded that the five men whose convictions had been vacated had "most likely" participated in the beating and rape of the jogger and that the "most likely scenario" was that "both the defendants and Reyes assaulted her, perhaps successively."[103] The report said Reyes had most likely "either joined in the attack as it was ending or waited until the defendants had moved on to their next victims before descending upon her himself, raping her and inflicting upon her the brutal injuries that almost caused her death."[103]"

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#449

Post by jchallis »

Gatsky wrote: post #438
epicureanideal wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes character assassination is coordinated. I personally only slightly increase the probability of something being true when multiple accusers come forward. I still want to see proof. What if a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?

Is this theoretical or do you have an example of a case where a woman publicly made detailed accusations which turned out to be false? Edit: This is an honest question by the way. Thanks to those who did provide some examples.

There are known outliers : famously the Rolling Stone UVA rape case. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/dec/29/rolling-ston...

I do not think that's applicable here. I think this woman was coerced into nonconsensual sex.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#450

Post by suifbwish »

faitswulff wrote: post #302
_f1dq wrote: post #280

There is a lot about the sexual events in this post that, to me, highlights something I feel is important which is: we parents need to get better had having conversations with our children around sex. This girl was feeling uncomfortable and crying but at the same time "didn't think those behaviors were problematic". I can't help but wonder if her parents never sat her down and discussed situations like this and, I ge…

+1 but especially our boys. Girls and women already learn so much about how to avoid being harmed by men. It’s time for our boys to learn how to become kind men - and for those of us who are men to model that for them.

Are you implying that rape occurs because someone’s parents didn’t tell them not to or that they would not rape if their parents HAD told them not to do it?
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