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I would argue that in that case you have actually given a great gift. They have gotten something they consider valuable considering the $70 amount they would pay for it but a bit too much of a luxury given the fact that it actually costs $100.
What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…
I never tell anyone about the list, but friends have told friends and everyone figured it out.
I was elated when someone donated blood as my wedding gift.
What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…
If you don't like a gift the etiquette is not to say "thanks I hate it" but to gratefully accept the gift and pretend it's awesome. Receiving a gift is not all about you, it's equally for the giver. Research shows there are huge benefits to giving gifts, so pretending you like it is a gift in itself.
Two of the most under-discussed aspects of gifts are their functions as displays of power and demonstrations of conspicuous care. Robin Hanson’s book The Elephant in the Brain touches on this.
Is the display of power, displaying the power of the giver? Or are you gifting power, that the recipient can then display? Thanks for the book recommendation.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
There's a lot to unpack here. I think a much better method is to recognize that if you have trouble figuring out a gift for a person, you either haven't put enough thought into it, or you don't know the person as well as you might like. > "I love X author" This is fine as long as you realize they probably own all of author's works and maybe even pre-ordered the latest release. Find something unique (signed copy? firs…
Authors have rivals? What is an example of rival authors?
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Thanks for this comment Autarch. On reflection, I wrote that paragraph way too harsh. I've redrafted it now to reflect the reality of yours and other comments like it.
The rewrite is much better. I agree that it's not something you can _assume_ the recipient will like. Even for me, I'd be fairly annoyed with a gift to a charity I don't think is very valuable (looking at you, Make a Wish).
I'd be very hesitant for people giving money on my behalf to charity as well. Many charities seem to mismanage money in a big way, for example by spending lots of money on marketing and paying the leadership big salaries. From other charities I might find their agendas often questionable (Oxfam Novib, Amnesty) or I don't agree with their methods (Greenpeace).
Of course there are some decent charities to be found as well.
Other people might object giving to charities for other reasons [0].
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Since then, I've had the best winters ever. I don't consume. I don't fret about gifts. If I want to give something special to someone I love, I do it at another time of the year. It might seem grinchy, but I don't feel that way. I feel better about myself for getting away from consumerism.
I wrote this nearly a decade ago on shopping and gift giving:
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You can, but if you consider knives an uninteresting kitchen tool, then you have just given them a $300 knife that they will feel bad about every time they use it open a can of beans. btw: if you do know about knives, please hit me up at my email address and let me pick your brain a bit. [Edit: my email address wasn't in my profile. fixed, but I'll reach out to folks shortly, thanks!].
Anyone opening a can with a knife should feel bad about it.
Less of a problem nowadays, since it seems most cans have pull tabs. But the metal of the cans is usually far more malleable than the knife, and if you have a work knife, it isn't unreasonable to do so.