Everyone in my family puts together an excel spreadsheet with links & notes, ex. If Mom wants a candle she'd either put a link to a specific candle or notes listing preferred brands and scents.
How to buy gifts that people actually want
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Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#12The main thing i learned from this article is that there's a remote controlled car that you can control with the N64! If anyone on here is wondering what to get me for christmas, wonder no more.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#13Last year, the adults in my immediate family put a limit on how much we'd spend on each other for Christmas. I think we picked around $20/person, when in the past we probably spent $75-100. This has been good for us, mainly because it lowers the pressure of gift exchanges. There's a big difference between giving (and getting) an unwanted $10 item compared to an unwanted $50 item. The limit removes emphasis from the m…
Since around the time of the Great Recession, my siblings, parents, cousins, etc., and I agreed to give gifts to each other only via one of those secret Santa methods with a limit of $40/gift. This has made things so much easier! We only have to gift something to a single recipient, making it less costlier, simplifying the gift idea hassle, and allowing us to focus less on the "shopping bonanza" and more on just enjoying our time together, etc.
I can't recall exactly why we started this "tradition" during the Great Recession but it was my Mom's idea...the funny part is that one might assume that one of us was hit by the recession (e.g. job loss, etc.), and that's why we started it...but thankfully none of us was negatively impacted. So, it wasn't because of any impact to any family member. I wonder if my Mom was just being prudent ahead of time? In any case, these secret Santa things are a good idea, not just for friends but also for family!
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#14Two of the most under-discussed aspects of gifts are their functions as displays of power and demonstrations of conspicuous care. Robin Hanson’s book The Elephant in the Brain touches on this.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#15Gift exchange is undervalued as a custom, at least in America. I am thinking particularly as a business custom. A gift gives you a chance to express gratitude, show your understanding / empathy of the recipient. It also is a great way to make a communication about who you are. That's why gifts of your product or service can be really effective.
Too bad its synonymous with bribery.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#16This person is a robot or something. They're missing the most important component of value of a gift -- that the value of something is higher when it's a gift from a loved one. If I have a wireless charging dock or a rhyming dictionary or an umbrella that I really love, I love it 2x more if it was a gift from my wife and 10x more if it was a gift from my kids.
Right, and that's touched on through the value of increasing social cohesion... But if the gift was a rubber chicken instead of a wireless charging dock, it falls into one of those "that's very nice!" categories.
I think it's not just increasing social cohesion either. It's also that we like owning things with a story. It becomes a Christmas souvenir basically.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#17Two of the most under-discussed aspects of gifts are their functions as displays of power and demonstrations of conspicuous care. Robin Hanson’s book The Elephant in the Brain touches on this.
Is the display of power, displaying the power of the giver?
Or are you gifting power, that the recipient can then display?
Thanks for the book recommendation.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#18What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything?
It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and call you ungrateful when you don't like it.
Really the greatest gift of all would be some kind of exemption from this custom so I don't have to go through this twice a year.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#19My method: I'm paying attention during the year what my relatives and friends are excited about, what they want and/or plan to buy and take a note. Once a birthday, Christmas or another opportunity comes, I only have to pick an idea from the list and actually buy it. Works perfectly. Telling them that you remember that they mentioned it is usually also great. I think it subtly communicates that you care enough about…
This reveals the joy of gift-giving. I had always shied away from trying hard to find a great gift. I was afraid I would give a terrible, terrible gift (I'm not great at receiving gifts). Someone I dated years ago had a talk with me about the joy of giving gifts and I've worked on improving. It's actually a lot of fun. A little listening and preparation turns you into a thoughtful gift giver.
I also find it quite satisfying to sneak around and ask family or friends about what we should get so-and-so. It doesn't always work out well but people appreciate you trying and sometimes you really nail it.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#20The paper he cites, Waldfogel's "The Deadweight Loss of Christmas" omits one of the most valuable results of gift exchange. Namely, it only considers the intrinsic value of the object give, and not any goodwill or pleasant feelings that the mere act of giving and receiving itself provides.
In other words, by focusing purely on the material value of the object given, the paper systematically undervalues the benefits of the entire act itself.
Waldfogel himself noted this in a follow up.