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Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

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Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#701
post #556

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Your job shouldn't be your break, regardless of your situation. If it's less stressful that the ambient level in your life, then it's a break. Why shouldn't it be?

If your day-to-day life is that stressful, I strongly encourage you to reach out to the National Parent Helpline at 1-855-427-2736.

Thanks for your concern. I'm pretty sure it's just regular parent stuff vs regular office job though.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#703
post #298

Earlier quoted context omitted.

IMO the real broken part of this system is that people are not getting legally-protected personal time. A big part of the resentment is that a person who chose to have children ends up being able to be excused from work to take care of children, while a person who has no children is not as easily excused to do what they want to do, because it is deemed low priority compared to children. We need to be prioritizing peo…

"A big part of the resentment is that a person who chose to have children ends up being able to be excused from work to take care of children, while a person who has no children is not as easily excused to do what they want to do, because it is deemed low priority compared to children." So, a few problems here: 1. Parenting is not a choice when you have children in your home. 2. Most parents do not want to be woken u…

So while I agree with your facts here, I would also like to point out that there are other things besides parenting that are also non-negotiable but are neglected.

1. Yes, children need self-care. But so do adults. Just as it is wrong to tell someone they can't take care of their child, I'd say it's equally wrong to tell an adult that they can't, for example, get their exercise time, because I would consider that also a human necessity. You risk early death if you do not exercise. For medical reasons I don't need to state here, the risk may be even higher for me personally if I don't get that time. Other adults have other medical conditions they need to attend to. However, not all workplaces recognize these as on par with taking care of children.

2. Those that choose not to have children may also be playing essential roles in our society in their off-hours. Heck, they may be volunteering at the Red Cross and saving other children from death, who knows, that may be why they chose not to have kids. Should we judge?

3. Let's not underestimate how important mental health is to society. People will die (from various causes, including suicide) if they are made to work late every day. Yes, I agree that children need to be taken care of. But the response to that shouldn't be to take an unreasonable work share given to a working parent and shove the excess onto the single/child-less workers in the same organization to slave away for 80 hours a week. This actually happens, and I have seen it happen. Instead, the response should be to give everyone a fair, normal 40-hour work share and let them do whatever they need or want to with their spare time.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#704
I'm going to be the devil's advocate here. Why should I have to cope with you absences while there is no downside for you but many for the rest of us? Ask for less hours, flexible schedule or delegate your responsibilities to someone else when you can't show up or when you risk getting called. Just because you have children doesn't mean you are entitled than me.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#705
post #425

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In modern society it's basically required that both parents work full-time jobs. It's not the 50s anymore; you can't support an entire household with children on one income. So you can't have the expectation that one of the parents give up a large chunk of their salary just to have kids. If you do structure society in this way then you get rapidly declining birth rates and very bad long-term population demographic pr…

Ok, it is not the 50s but why could people do it in the 50s and why can't we do it now? We are hearing "automation will destroy jobs" left and right and for some reason, we can't afford stay at home moms. The "universal child care" argument makes me feel uncomfortable. It one step short of a dystopia. One where women would surrender their child to a state sponsored center where child care specialists make them produc…

> Ok, it is not the 50s but why could people do it in the 50s and why can't we do it now?

With regards to productivity and pay, I share with you many illustrative charts. https://wtfhappenedin1971.com/

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#706

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

>What's next, complaining that the cancer patient gets extra time off so why don't I?

Having a child is a choice, getting cancer isn't.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#707
post #160

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I don't fully agree with you. Back when I worked in retail or fast food, smokers could step out for a 5 minute smoke break every once in a while. As a non-smoker, I wasn't allowed to just sit there for 5 minutes. At the end of the day, we got paid the same, but smokers got 30 minutes off, courtesy of the non-smokers who picked up the slack. Likewise, parents are excused from work because they have children. I fully a…

Honestly curious, what are these "personal obligations" that are similar to educating and entertaining children during their waking hours in dual-career homes after childcare and in-person school went poof?

What I'm seeing overall is a shocking lack of empathy for that situation and seeing home-parenting obligations during a pandemic as not being too dissimilar from taking time to binge Tiger King or take a road trip.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#708
post #5

Personally, I struggle with these feelings as well. It seems nuts that someone working 50%+ less than someone else is going to keep all the same equity, vacation, and salary. Then again it seems nuts that they don't. All employees who had children or family members to care for before or after COVID get none of the same support. I don't think backpay is coming for those who were forced to take leave or even quit their…

I mean, don't blame normal people. Blame your company for being a shitty company.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#709

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>an essential service that some people perform to ensure that society as we know it can continue to exist I empathize with parents, but please don't make it sound like it's a selfless act they are doing for the good of society. Also, childless couples/singles get taxed at quite a high rate (after any returns) vs parents. You compound that over 21 or whatever years it takes for kids to become "productive". Furthermore…

I assume that at age 66 you still want access to things like medical care, fire departments, etc. What value do you place on that? Your taxes enable young people to exist/grow-up and extend those services to you. Providing for kids is selfish, not selfless. Until the singularity happens, we need young children to grow into functioning adults that continue and (hopefully) advance society.

I'm sorry if I implied that I don't want to pay. I'm just emphasizing that the people who choose to have kids are not doing it for selfless reasons.
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