Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
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Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#2A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them.
Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here
“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”
Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if they haven't adjusted team goals/metrics to take into account the new normal.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#3There is a reason why the term "childless privilege" exists.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#4I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times.
What's next, complaining that the cancer patient gets extra time off so why don't I?
If anything, I'm thankful for all those people with kids who will (a) take care of the continuation of the human race, and more selfishly (b) support our society and economy when I am too old to do so.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#5Personally, I struggle with these feelings as well.
It seems nuts that someone working 50%+ less than someone else is going to keep all the same equity, vacation, and salary. Then again it seems nuts that they don't.
All employees who had children or family members to care for before or after COVID get none of the same support. I don't think backpay is coming for those who were forced to take leave or even quit their jobs when they had family they had to care for.
It isn't "unfair" or something, parents with kids of certain ages have a much higher burden right now than most, and our society should support them.
That support won't exist for anything exceptional, and for diseases like autism, alzheimer's or cancer, we've normalized the experience and force individuals to just handle it. It's hard to see how far some companies are willing to go for parents today, when I see how little we do for others.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#6I sympathize with the parents but this is just how life goes. If you have kids, you’re going to be more occupied than people without kids since we all have limited time on this Earth. And of course your career will be negatively impacted.
There are good things about having kids and bad things. This is one of those potential bad things. If you don’t want to deal with this possibility then simply don’t have kids.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#7A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them. Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here “The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if…
At the same time it's kind of hard for me to be sympathetic. Their bowls aren't empty: they kept their cushy, white-collar, benefit-rich jobs while tens of millions became suddenly unemployed.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#8I suspect people are less inclined to empathize with people they don't see face-to-face every day. Mass-WFH could cause a general drop in empathy, particularly when the circumstances are so stressful.
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#9A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them. Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here “The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if…
There is a team of 4 people. 2 have families, 2 don't. The ones that don't picked up the slack for the ones that did. Work quality was equal, but output was greater for the singles. The team has 2 slots for promotion. Do you ignore the fact that the single people put in more work or do you factor it in in the promotion decision?
Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19
#10This is one of the biggest reasons I’ve chosen to forego parenthood. I can’t imagine trying to carve out a solid career in tech while being a parent. I’m sure there are so many here on HN that will say it’s not so hard, but employer expectations have historically been incredibly high at companies I’ve worked for, to the point that sacrificing one’s personal life is pretty much expected (although never explicitly stated).
The pattern of viewing non-parents as more accessible and therefore more committed has been incredibly noticeable, particularly among startups and smaller companies.