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Tell HN: Call Mom

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Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#81

Post by jshevek »

helpmesee123 wrote: post #66

Can someone please help me understand? I feel such a strong aversion to acknowledge almost every holiday, especially marketing-driven ones like Mother’s Day. Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda. Isn’t it enough to treat mothers/fathers/etc well on a regular basis? Doesn’t that mean more than a call/card once a year? I don’t want to be this way. Help…

How does your mother feel about it? I respect your inclination to reject marketing driven social manipulation, but if it's important to your mother, that might be an reason to set aside this viewpoint. You would be doing it for you mom, not for Hallmark.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#82

Post by balfirevic »

dorkwood wrote: post #70

I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…

> Do I still have a duty to call my parents multiple times a week, despite us never having anything to talk about?

No, of course not.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#83

Post by luckylion »

helpmesee123 wrote: post #66

Can someone please help me understand? I feel such a strong aversion to acknowledge almost every holiday, especially marketing-driven ones like Mother’s Day. Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda. Isn’t it enough to treat mothers/fathers/etc well on a regular basis? Doesn’t that mean more than a call/card once a year? I don’t want to be this way. Help…

> Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda.

It's not about you, it's about her. If your mother would appreciate a call on this day, call her.

The "official" holiday is just an organized opportunity for you to say thanks. Of course, you can send her flowers and call her any day of the year, but most people don't. Having a set date gives you a reason. If she's anything like my mother, she'll be happy you thought of her. It's a gesture, not an announcement that you will from now until the end of times surrender to the marketing of flower shops. It's not about you, it's about her.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#84

Post by meddlepal »

jshevek wrote: post #71
rubber_duck wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>boggles my mind that people think they should be telling anyone to call anyone on a site like this. It's a nice reminder, don't see the OP post as "reconnect with your abusive parent" more like "today might be a good day to call your mother"

> "today might be a good day to call your mother" The OP doesn't qualify their premise with 'might'. ('May' only applied to video chat, specifically). The title is imperative, and there is a general claim of importance. I'm not bothered personally, I just agree with chriseatons assessment of the tone.

The pedantry on this site sometimes is insufferable.

It's a little reminder for the oblivious and workaholics among us. Nobody is suggesting anyone call their mom if they hate her guts.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#85

Post by rootusrootus »

helpmesee123 wrote: post #66

Can someone please help me understand? I feel such a strong aversion to acknowledge almost every holiday, especially marketing-driven ones like Mother’s Day. Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda. Isn’t it enough to treat mothers/fathers/etc well on a regular basis? Doesn’t that mean more than a call/card once a year? I don’t want to be this way. Help…

I hate hallmark holidays too. So don't buy a card. I don't. But I do take an extra moment to pick up the phone and wish my mother a happy mother's day. Just because it's formal and seems trite doesn't mean I deliberately go the opposite direction. I love my mom and I make sure to communicate that every time we talk, so this is just icing on the cake.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#87

Post by blueberry_47 »

Woberto wrote: post #79
voisin wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW, I think your life would be vastly improved if you can turn the anger evident in your post into sadness for whatever caused her to act like that in the first place. It’s worked for me. Pity feels like a healthier emotion to experience than anger or bitterness.

I see people downvoting so I just wanted to say, as a person with anger towards my dad, this makes some sense to me. He was a terrible father, and surely a large part of that is due to something like poor mental health from a rough upbringing. It really sucks that my siblings and I suffered from it, but I can also sympathize with what he went through. It's still really tough to know where to go from here. I feel like…

If your old man did you wrong Well maybe his old man did him wrong -mewithoutyou, Allah Allah Allah

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#88

Post by [deleted] »

meddlepal wrote: post #84
jshevek wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "today might be a good day to call your mother" The OP doesn't qualify their premise with 'might'. ('May' only applied to video chat, specifically). The title is imperative, and there is a general claim of importance. I'm not bothered personally, I just agree with chriseatons assessment of the tone.

The pedantry on this site sometimes is insufferable. It's a little reminder for the oblivious and workaholics among us. Nobody is suggesting anyone call their mom if they hate her guts.

[deleted]

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#90

Post by dvtrn »

exolymph wrote: post #65
fsloth wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, the cultural presumption seems to be that if you don't call your mother you are a callous bastard who does not care about the person who brought you into this world and nurtured you. The sad fact is that since that relationship is so special, the callous negligence and other pathologies parted by the mother into the relationship are so many times more destructive. And this is not about the stereotypical sitcom…

> Yeah, the cultural presumption seems to be that if you don't call your mother you are a callous bastard who does not care about the person who brought you into this world and nurtured you. I don't think this is true. The cultural presumption is that you love your mom and that she was basically a pretty good mom. In that assumed case, not calling makes you a callous bastard. And of course there are people who will b…

Herein lies the basic problem with assuming.
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