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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#181

Post by HenryKissinger »

whalesalad wrote: post #176
gerbilly wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I agree with the bulk of your comment, but I couldn't help but notice... If the solution is to not use all these apps, apps that are being developed by those very same anxious workers, what does it say about silicon valley's sunny optimism that they are changing the world for the better? Does anyone else feel it's parad…

> silicon valley's sunny optimism This is all marketing hype speak from the type-a extrovert hustlers at the top. No sane person truly believes things like FB etc... are changing the world.

Considering the extent and the societal and political ramifications of the mountains of propaganda being disseminated on Facebook, as well as the outcome of the 2016 election, it is clear that FB is changing the world... for the worst.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#182

Post by [deleted] »

whalesalad wrote: post #176
gerbilly wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I agree with the bulk of your comment, but I couldn't help but notice... If the solution is to not use all these apps, apps that are being developed by those very same anxious workers, what does it say about silicon valley's sunny optimism that they are changing the world for the better? Does anyone else feel it's parad…

> silicon valley's sunny optimism This is all marketing hype speak from the type-a extrovert hustlers at the top. No sane person truly believes things like FB etc... are changing the world.

[deleted]

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#183

Post by whalesalad »

danenania wrote: post #100
whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

I think you might be interpreting my comment a little too far into "stick your head into the sand" territory. That is not at all what I am advocating. It's important to be realistic and a part of the world around you ... but it's very clear that people have too much shit in their lives and need to get rid of a lot of it.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#184

Post by ilyagr »

tpurves wrote: post #30
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Agreed. But therapy often aint cheap. I don’t doubt that tech workers get stressed and seekntherapy. People in other industry also suffer through anxiety and other issues. Probably many (most?) low wage job sectors are even worse for the pressures felt by workers. But tech pays well, so you have the greater privledge there to be able to afford therapy. and so a lot of tech people go to therapy. (As almost anyone coul…

Medical insurance will often cover therapy, even if you are not diagnosed with a Major Disorder of Doom. Of course, the deductibles can also add up.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#185

Post by skizm »

fuzz4lyfe wrote: post #154
skizm wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where can I find someone that will pay me a living wage to read fantasy novels, go to the gym, play video games, and occasionally travel?

Is working worth the gym membership, video games and travel? Perhaps the solution is to work, do and own less more generally. Trying to find a trick to fool your mind into liking an activity you don't only seems healthy for the corporate balance sheet, not you as a individual.

> own less more generally

Absolutely. I save like 60-70% (depending on how you count taxes) every month and plan on stopping traditional work at 40. I'll probably have enough money to coast at that point and I can take up some contracting work a few months a year instead of being stuck in the 9-5. That goal is the only thing that keeps me sane.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#186

Post by dbcurtis »

rewgs wrote: post #115
dbcurtis wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A friend of mine was a video game producer for about 15 years... kinds sounds like his job?? Except he was a dad and not a gym rat, YMMV.

Making video games is not even remotely similar to playing video games. Source: I work in the game dev industry. It’s brutal.

Yes, I said "producer" not "coder", not "artist", not "tester". Much less brutal in management.

[edit: clarification]

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#187

Post by dlphn___xyz »

mindsetalex wrote: post #103
dlphn___xyz wrote: post #34

the workers arent the problem and therapy isnt the answer - workers shouldn’t feel afraid to set boundaries to prevent being exploited or abused.

What if we’re the founders? It’s hard to set boundaries from your company when you ARE the company.

a founder has far more leverage vs a waged worker

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#188

Post by tikhonj »

tiborsaas wrote: post #138
Raphmedia wrote: post #73

The best way I can describe therapy to a tech oriented person is this: Therapy is rubber-ducking for your brain and thinking patterns. Sure, you can figure the bugs by yourself but you often get stuck in your ways of thinking which make you blind to them. The therapist is the equivalent of a senior brain & behavior engineer. Use them, talk to them. Talk about your quirks and your bugs. You may think you have a perfec…

I never been to therapy or talked to a psychologist, but I want to. What I'm afraid of is that I might pick a wrong "brain and mind engineer" and it might take a while and a lot of money to realize it only to go back to square one. I found one recently, but after my second email she just replied that she's overbooked. I have issues with rejection among other things :)

I was in a similar situation, and at some point I just realized that I was better off seeing some therapist rather than trying to guess the best one. So I just found one that was within walking distance and had time available. It worked out well in my case.

If the first one doesn't work out, they might recommend somebody more suited for you specifically or, in the worst case, you can just repeat the process above.

Unless you can get a recommendation from somebody you know, I think this is the best option. It's usually better to do something than to do nothing :).

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#189

Post by Bootwizard »

chrisnaoumidis wrote: post #129
Bootwizard wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not a writer so I'll let you know when it happens. It may be years from now, but I'm steadily working on it! :) I'll check out Mindset, thanks. (I couldn't find it on google, send a link if you don't mind)

I'll be waiting! It's only on the Apple App Store at the moment, if you search Mindset on the App Store it will be the first non-ad app.

Ahh unfortunately I don't have an iOS device. Is it on MacOS too? I have a Macbook for work

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#190

Post by rblion »

cheeko1234 wrote: post #164
rblion wrote: post #87

Seven ayahuasca ceremonies and two bufo ceremonies over the course of 2 years changed my life. I experienced a paradigm shift and healed a lot of repressed trauma, let go of a lot of internal drama. I feel I got to the root of the issue and built a solid foundation upon mindfulness and compassion. Every day I work to train my mind to be one-pointed while keeping my heart open towards all, even those who wish me harm.…

I keep reading about ayahuasca. Care to elaborate on how/where, etc. I've been using thc as self-medication for a decade and decided to quit cold turkey, and my anxiety and self-doubt is through the roof. I know the baggage is coming from childhood, but I'm not sure how to solve it.

I used to self-medicate with pot too and after a break-up with a girl, alcohol. I've since learned coping skills and to enjoy 'the little things' that actually aren't so little. It's so cliche but the most important quality for happiness, creativity, and learning is to have the heart of a child. It's important to balance that with discipline of course but the foundation is 'beginner's mind'.

First time was in October 2017, I flew to Colombia after getting a 'scholarship'. They let me do a 10-day retreat with 3 ceremonies (plus 2 sweat lodges and 2 san pedro ceremonies) for $400 instead of the $2K+ that most centers charge. I would not have been able to afford it otherwise. Before going, I had already gone 4 months without drinking, smoking, meat, or sex though. I was all-in on this transformation and saw this plant medicine as a way to reach the deepest parts of my psyche to do a 'reboot' of sorts. That's what I got from it.

The 2nd and 3rd retreats were in upstate NY through a girl I know who has pure intentions and good connections. She runs a center that is donation-based and is basically a commune. I couldn't live there but it's nice to know I can always go there if I find myself at a crossroads again.

Quitting pot was difficult, it's everywhere these days. Ultimately, my grandma's death put everything into perspective for me. I listened to the Steve Jobs Stanford speech recently and everything he said echoes what I realized in the last few months.

Do you journal? Do you have access to a steam room/sauna? Sweating the THC out of your body is a good start. Meditation and fitness can help curb your anxiety. I didn't go looking for ayahuasca or bufo, they both kinda found me. It's a long story, so I'll spare you.

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