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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#21

Post by birdfeeder210 »

Working at startups lead me to tears over stress a few times and one boss, knowing I broke down that same day, would ask me "you're okay to continue working today right?". Thankfully I was young, had no kids, and decided my mental health was worth more than an underpaid job to make a few people rich and so I left that company. Some people who worked there longer than I did still justify the time they spent working in conditions like that. Some people I worked with there barely spent any time with their families. Oh, but it was "all worth it for the company!"... they would claim.

Get help if you need it and remember that no one is worth working for if they degrade your mental health. No one.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#22

Post by snarf21 »

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Agreed, it is still largely a question of optics and prejudice. People associate therapy with psychiatry and that anyone going is "crazy".

I've long argued that we should come up with a better term. I prefer stress counselor instead of therapist. It allows more natural discussion with others too. "I see a stress counselor and we just talk about how to be less stressed at work and home" is a very easy and non-clinical way to discuss the same thing as going to therapy. We also need to mandate that mental health is covered by all health insurance plans. Anything we can do to remove the stigma is a positive.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#23

Post by guerrilla »

jressey wrote: post #20
whatshisface wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

I'm not sure the qualification "medical grade" exists for therapy. You go if you feel like you need to go. You would see a psychiatrist for medicine-based solutions to your perceived or physical ailments. Another aspect is that often times sensitive subjects involving the spouse come up that you have previously been unsuccessful in discussing with them, or you are simply uncomfortable discussing with them. An easy co…

Is that really true? They genrrally draw lines around whether it affects one's day to day functioning or not.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#24

Post by bitbuilder »

non-entity wrote: post #18
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

A therapist of course can't fix a mistake you made in the past.

However, they will most certainly help you change the way you think about that mistake. Which can be extremely helpful in moving past those mistakes and making the best of where you find yourself now in life.

I just recently started seeing a therapist, and this was a huge revelation to me. More specifically, helping me realize I was holding onto a lot of guilt over things where it made no sense to cling to that guilt. Learning to let go of that mental overhead has been extremely helpful.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#25

Post by jimcsharp »

non-entity wrote: post #18
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

I think it's really more about coping skills these days, as opposed to 'getting to the root of things and erasing them' https://blogs.psychcentral.com/practical-psychoanalysis/2015...

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#27

Post by crsmithdev »

webwielder2 wrote: post #12
crsmithdev wrote: post #9

Shocked that a normal and healthy practice that should be done more by more and different kinds of people is big news to the NYT, because tech. Watching the NYT (and others) from within tech over the past few years has done more to destroy any trust in mass media than anything else in my lifetime.

The NYT banging the Iraq war drum back in 2002-03 was enough for me to develop terminal cynicism about that particular august institution.

Yes, that was the start of it for me, seeing that going on while understanding exactly how much BS it was at the time. Then the 2016 elections (and constant fumbling to get any story right since) and this finished the job.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#28

Post by crsmithdev »

situational87 wrote: post #17
crsmithdev wrote: post #9

Shocked that a normal and healthy practice that should be done more by more and different kinds of people is big news to the NYT, because tech. Watching the NYT (and others) from within tech over the past few years has done more to destroy any trust in mass media than anything else in my lifetime.

Is there a therapist that specializes in all the trauma Judith Miller has caused me personally? I would really like to get into that with someone, it was a big part of my youth.

I am so sorry, you may be beyond the reach of modern medical science :p

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#29

Post by cgs »

whatshisface wrote: post #11
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

Not if you're having relationship issues with said wife/husband. Your spouse is biased. Sometimes you need an outside perspective. Close friends are also an option, but there are lots of folks out there who don't have somebody they can really open up to.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#30

Post by tpurves »

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Agreed. But therapy often aint cheap. I don’t doubt that tech workers get stressed and seekntherapy. People in other industry also suffer through anxiety and other issues. Probably many (most?) low wage job sectors are even worse for the pressures felt by workers. But tech pays well, so you have the greater privledge there to be able to afford therapy. and so a lot of tech people go to therapy. (As almost anyone could benefit from if they can afford it)
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