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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#161

Post by ipython »

diminoten wrote: post #153
ipython wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The only problem with this point of view is that, effectively, you have painted a sort of target on your back. As you say, not everyone goes to therapy (even though they should). Therefore, there is still a stigma associated with those who do choose to go to therapy. That wouldn't be so bad, except there are consequences to going to therapy. Paperwork and records are generated. There are certain positions where you h…

What exactly is your threat model?

Threat model? I don’t expect that anyone is out to get “me” specifically. As I said, if I apply to a job that requires me to disclose my interactions with mental health professionals, I do see a non zero risk of being denied that position on that basis.

Furthermore, I want to ensure the economic viability of my family. So regarding genetic testing, you have to answer questions asking whether you have pre existing conditions when applying for life or health insurance. If you know that you are x% more likely to contract a certain cancer due to your genes, do you take the chance and lie on the application? Or do you tell the truth and run the risk of being denied wholesale?

There is no clear answer and so to protect the economic future of my kids, I can still choose not to know.

I have not touched on the “leaking” of information which I think is where you were going with your question. While I do not consider myself interesting enough to be a target for “doxing” wouldn’t it just be easier if there was nothing to “dox” in the first place?? Just in case I do end up in a public position or otherwise targeted for harassment?

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#162

Post by itronitron »

toyg wrote: post #70
whatshisface wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

Are you really, 100% honest with your spouse, as in "I think I might have watched too much porn" or "I just can't stand our child, I think he's ugly and spoilt, sometimes I wish we didn't have any", or "I really don't fancy you anymore, I'm thinking about having an affair"...? I would assume most people are not that candid with their partners, but that's the sort of thing you can discuss with a therapist.

If that is what people discuss with their therapist then it sounds like an incredible waste of time.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#163

Post by bazooka_penguin »

andai wrote: post #142
danenania wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

Re: Ruthlessly eliminate negative people I'm undoubtedly the most negative person in my life.

Famous last techie words

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#164

Post by cheeko1234 »

rblion wrote: post #87

Seven ayahuasca ceremonies and two bufo ceremonies over the course of 2 years changed my life. I experienced a paradigm shift and healed a lot of repressed trauma, let go of a lot of internal drama. I feel I got to the root of the issue and built a solid foundation upon mindfulness and compassion. Every day I work to train my mind to be one-pointed while keeping my heart open towards all, even those who wish me harm.…

I keep reading about ayahuasca. Care to elaborate on how/where, etc.

I've been using thc as self-medication for a decade and decided to quit cold turkey, and my anxiety and self-doubt is through the roof. I know the baggage is coming from childhood, but I'm not sure how to solve it.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#165

Post by awinder »

danenania wrote: post #100
whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

This is basically Bentham vs Mill utilitarianism for anyone that wants to explore how at least humanity’s great balancing act has been recorded over hundreds of years.

But to summarize — you should optimize for things like quality of happiness rather than happiness units. And this gets messy and you will make bad calls, it’s a moral framework for decision making no one has a perfect system. But be optimizing for great happiness and make those long term investments.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#166

Post by ipython »

BeetleB wrote: post #160
ipython wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The only problem with this point of view is that, effectively, you have painted a sort of target on your back. As you say, not everyone goes to therapy (even though they should). Therefore, there is still a stigma associated with those who do choose to go to therapy. That wouldn't be so bad, except there are consequences to going to therapy. Paperwork and records are generated. There are certain positions where you h…

> That wouldn't be so bad, except there are consequences to going to therapy. Paperwork and records are generated. There are certain positions where you have to disclose any therapy that you've received (see for example Section 21 on the SF-86: https://www.opm.gov/forms/pdf_fill/sf86.pdf ). My thoughts on this are that first and foremost, my health is more important than my career. And for SW professionals, the reali…

I remember it being more invasive in the past and while I can’t find an old version to compare, there is this article outlining the changes in ~2017 to that question: https://www.keepyourclearance.com/news/sf-86-psychological-h...

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#167

Post by Arubis »

Well, I mean... gestures vaguely at everything

Life is hard enough already, and there's tools out there available that can help. If you have access, you should take advantage of it.

I get that there's still stigma in some areas and cultures. Perhaps ironically, with some better social-mental-emotional-physiological tools, you might find that the stigma just doesn't concern you.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#168

Post by 49531 »

cubano wrote: post #139

Does anyone here have any experience with the Psych On Demand-type services that promise professional therapy like LARKR or Talkspace and the like? $85 for 50 minutes seems quite reasonable and I have been wanting to try it but wanted to hear from other tech professionals before paying the money I barely have. I know I could use use therapy, although the fabulous graduate-level textbook I once read that I believe nai…

You can usually find a therapist for a similar rate ($80-$100)/hr, or if you're lucky enough to have insurance that covers therapy, you can get it for less. I currently only pay a co-pay of $25/hr.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#169

Post by war1025 »

OJFord wrote: post #151
davidw wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here's what keeps me on social media: * YIMBY activism. Facebook especially is a great, low-friction way to get new people involved. * FB can be a great way of sharing, say, photos of kids or activities or events with people who are... maybe a bit more peripheral than friends I see every day, but who I still find value in keeping in touch with.

> * FB can be a great way of sharing, say, photos of kids or activities or events with people who are... maybe a bit more peripheral than friends I see every day, but who I still find value in keeping in touch with. What got me off Facebook (>3y ago, not a passing whim) was the realisation that I found no value in keeping in touch with people I was only 'in touch with' via Facebook. > * YIMBY activism. Facebook espec…

I think there is a difference between "people I added on a whim and don't actually know" and "my cousin that lives out of state", for example.

I pretty aggressively prune my facebook friend list. I think I'm at something like 68 friends right now. The majority of them are actually older family members who like my random rants about the antics our kids get into.

Basically if I add someone on facebook and they aren't actively part of my life or social / family circle, they get culled.

It seems like a nice compromise.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#170

Post by gerbilly »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

> deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook.

I agree with the bulk of your comment, but I couldn't help but notice...

If the solution is to not use all these apps, apps that are being developed by those very same anxious workers, what does it say about silicon valley's sunny optimism that they are changing the world for the better?

Does anyone else feel it's paradoxical?

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