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The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

nytimes.com

81–90 of 310 posts

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#81

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

>I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc).

Whereas China is not successful? It entered the top 5 of global economies from huge poverty in the 20th century, is now #2, and is poised to become #1 in the not so distant future. And this starting from developing world conditions, and a long time of colonial abuse.

Wikipedia "Until 2015, China was the world's fastest-growing major economy, with growth rates averaging 10% over 30 years.".

And from WTO: " According to data from the World Bank the global economy will expand by $6.5 trillion between 2017 and 2019. America’s GDP is expected to account for 17.9% of this growth. China’s, however, is predicted to account for almost double this, at 35.2%."

>- centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical change)

Actually the change that propelled them to #2 (and eventually #1) is over 3 decades old.

And China doesn't have "centuries of wrong economic policy". In fact for centuries (before communism) it was a hugely advanced economy (and the world's #1 e.g. in the Ming era).

>- can't vote - if the party loves a corrupt official, then what can you do?

You get to suffer them. But isn't the case in China that they are overly harsh on corruption? (Something like executing thousands officials each year)?

Of course those really friendly with the top tier will get off free, but then again, elsewhere they get bonuses and 1 trillion government bailouts for destroying the economy, so there's that.

>- a lot of human-rights violations

Well, from the Guantanamo to invading countries at will, it doesn't look right for other major countries either, e.g.: https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2018/country-chapters/unite..., https://www.hrw.org/news/2018/06/29/us-turning-its-back-huma... . So this is more of a case of the pot calling the kettle black than a real differentiation. At least China fucks its own citizens and/or neighbors they have beefs with, not everybody around. Besides is the case with Tibet that much different than e.g. taking by war several states from Mexico? Or getting Hawaii?

>- helping north Korea to make a nuke... right next to beijing!

So, like some countries that arm and befriend all kinds of dictators and repressive regimes, and are OK with their nuke programs but scold others for theirs?

>well have a look at Taiwan! it's smaller than China with the same ethnicity but Taiwan packs a punch without shady stuff China does (eg. stealing IPs, trafficking bodyparts, etc)

Yeah, but it was a Cold War darling, specifically pampered to act as a counter to China (e.g. getting US Aid up until the 60s), and then getting favorable business and investment. Meanwhile China had lost time in communist power struggles and civil war. Post 1980s though...

Besides, Taiwan itself was under martial law for decades, with government propaganda, restriction of print, restriction of political expression, etc:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martial_law_in_Taiwan

So, not exactly a paragon of democracy at the time either.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#82

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

The problem is: governing an island with 20 million people is very different from governing 1.3 billion people. I mean , Beijing alone have 20 million population. PRC did lots of bad things yes, but I believe all countries have organ-trafficking, corruption, 'wrong' economic policies.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#83

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

This reads as if you paid absolutely no attention to what this person was saying.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#84

So healthcare in China is two-tier? Excellent care for those with money or connections, and bad care for everyone else? The author works in America as a writer (and the prose is excellent! Hard to believe English is a second language!). Would things be any different if the mother lived in the states with her daughter? Would healthcare be better for her, or would it only be better if they were richer than they are? As…

> So healthcare in China is two-tier? Excellent care for those with money or connections, and bad care for everyone else?

> As someone living in a country with working universal healthcare

I don't know where you are living, but for example the praised German universal healthcare works exactly the same way - two-tier. Of course it's not bad on universal, but if you have money to go private the difference is obviously there.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#85

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

Wow that's a nice hijack of the topic ...

KMT is actually doing very poor at the time when they are ruling the whole China, which is something our (P.R.C) text book love to talk about. And it's the main reason of why many people are actually the fan of CCP at that time ... Just so you know.

Sadly we didn't end up with a two-party government like the U.S. did, so we have to argue with each other about who is the rightful government of the China all along.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#86

The harsh reality of 1st or 2nd generation Chinese is that while many of us went to the top universities and grew up with a modern, 1st world mindset, we can't escape the fact that our financial and family background is from the developing world, and we live in both worlds at once - our mindset is modern, but the issues and problems of the developing world are still very much things we have to deal with. I first enco…

Your testimony reminds me of a kid I met in Mali. The guy was our guide, and he spoke 6 languages, including 4 local dialects, french and english. He had a cellphone and knew how to drive a 4x4.

He drove us to the desert, in a place at the north of Bamako known as the Dogon's country. There, he asked us if we were ok to take a detour by his parents village, and we agreed.

His parents were living with no electricity, using water from a well, in a small mud-made house. They slept among the goats and chickens.

It made me realized he had to live between those 2 worlds, and it felt so unreal.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#87
post #40

This is a very bizarre story. Not everyone has the inclination to develop connections, nor should they. Not everyone is motivated by more "practical" careers. The truth is if she had a chance to repeat her life, she'd probably still choose to pursue her literary dreams. She made the decision multiple times in her life to focus on other things besides connections or going for some "practical" career. She knew there wo…

Her closing remarks indicate it doesn't matter what choice she makes, she will have regrets. The end of the piece indicates it is systemic, a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation that shouldn't exist. It also describes a situation where the system sets you up for failure, then blames you when you fail. They disappear people in China for criticizing the government. This strikes me as a left-handed critique…

My thoughts went the same way. I hope this article doesn't cause problem for the Author's parents back home.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#88
The author's self deprecation is brilliant. She uses her "meager useless" writing skills to broadcast to the one of the world's largest wealthy educated (kind?) audiences, readers of the NYTimes (not to mention HN), also subtly shaming anyone responsible for her mother's poor care past or future to the broadest most influential audience she can reach. What more can a mother ask for? I'm proud of her. Guanxi is not the only form of human influence in the world... isn't the "pen mightier than the sword?" (Sometimes). I wish the best for her and her mother.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#89
post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

weeks!? ...

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#90
post #77

I am not familiar with nuances of Chinese culture, but I was so intrigued by the "guanxi" phenomenon that I immediately and gladly spent half an hour reading about it and watching Youtube videos of the "guanxi" culture in China.[1] "Guanxi" is nothing other than socially institutionalised networks of non-monetary favours and counter-favours. It happens in every culture actually but the thing that makes "quanxi" uniqu…

I think the main difference of guanxi is that it's bilateral.

In order to survive good in China you need some kind of in brain CRM

Where as "institutionalised networks" more or less implies like-minded people sharing the some common value.

Just my two cents.

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