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The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

nytimes.com

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Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#61

Post by adrianN »

mrb wrote: post #21
40acres wrote: post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

Here is a practical thought experiment that might help you: picture yourself many years from now, on your deathbed; would you have more regrets of having gone down path A or B?

That is not very practical, as you don't know how the future will turn out. If they start a startup and succeed they'll likely be happy about that decision. It's very hard to figure out expected outcomes for actions, and it's not very productive to think about worst-case (or best-case) outcomes.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#62

Post by ak39 »

spyckie2 wrote: post #47

The harsh reality of 1st or 2nd generation Chinese is that while many of us went to the top universities and grew up with a modern, 1st world mindset, we can't escape the fact that our financial and family background is from the developing world, and we live in both worlds at once - our mindset is modern, but the issues and problems of the developing world are still very much things we have to deal with. I first enco…

"Beyond wealth, there is poverty of taste, standards, and expectations, family practices and emotional intelligence..."

This is beautifully written, thanks for sharing your experience.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#63

Post by paulie_a »

laumars wrote: post #34
40acres wrote: post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

It's trendy to run your own start up but honestly I'd rather work for an established company on a decent wage and have my startup idea as side projects for fun. If they become profitable then I get a little extra pocket money. However more often than not it's just something to scratch a personal itch so I'd rather just give it away to the open source community since it has already been so generous to me and my career…

I absolutely agree. Sure if someone is young, try running your own startup and when that fails you can get a normal job. Everyone wants to claim they are an entrepreneur but that means you are a sales person. Your technical abilities don't mean much.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#64

Post by netsharc »

eb48 wrote: post #58

Woah.. spoilers ahead The author discusses her lack of guanxi and her decision to major in literature as a detriment to her career path ... in the new york times. The postmodernism is striking!

Detriment to her career path? Did you read the right article?

More like her lack of networking deterred her from getting the benefits of knowing people, benefits her peers can enjoy.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#65

Post by fspeech »

"I tried to secure her a specialist appointment at Huashan Hospital, one of the best public hospitals in Shanghai, only to discover that they were full till the end of August. "

I am a little confused. Why is getting an appointment at the best hospital by the end of August not good? Take the appointment. See a competent doctor you can find now and then go to the best hospital for a second opinion.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#66

Post by fivecents »

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China?

I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc).

Compare this to the current PRC:

- cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people

- centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical change)

- can't vote - if the party loves a corrupt official, then what can you do?

- a lot of human-rights violations: organ-trafficking, tibet, deportation of north korean refugees

- helping north Korea to make a nuke... right next to beijing! (or is PRC already a hostage?)

And the Wumaos (Chinese-gov-paid people to comment favorably to PRC) will say:

> "Chinese people aren't decent enough to have democracy"

well have a look at Taiwan! it's smaller than China with the same ethnicity but Taiwan packs a punch without shady stuff China does (eg. stealing IPs, trafficking bodyparts, etc)

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#67

Post by AstralStorm »

xaranke wrote: post #11
40acres wrote: post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

Does it have to be an either/or situation? 2 months of spare time is probably the upper end of how much you should spend preparing for coding interviews, once that is done you could start working on your side project?

It is generally better to use a spaced repetition schedule than cram in 2 months... So, taking say 4h each week or perhaps something even more adaptive would be better.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#68

Post by jstanley »

fivecents wrote: post #66

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

> if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China?

Did the current Taiwanese government ever rule China?

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#69

Post by fivecents »

jstanley wrote: post #68
fivecents wrote: post #66

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

> if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? Did the current Taiwanese government ever rule China?

unfortunately, for a very-short-time :(

maybe you can even say it mostly didn't happen

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#70

Post by beerlord »

lovelearning wrote: post #42
User23 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s the right decision. You will be able to take what you learned home and create wealth for thousands, if not more. India is going to surpass China in the next century.

India is going to surpass China in the next century. Just curious, but this statement surprised me. Surpass in what ways? GDP? Per capita income? Standard of living? Population? Level of honesty? Level of corruption? Level of transparency? Any studies you can recommend that reach these conclusions?

India is going to be buckling under overpopulation, whereas China had already tackled that decades ago. Parts of India will be uninhabitable due to climate change, and there are already major water shortages.

However the Government does seem to be on the right track with their moves to introduce GST (replacing myriad taxes and duties from state to state) and cracking down on illegal cash.

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