Why Happy People Cheat

Let's translate that philosophy to other "wrong" activities, shall we?

"Spending money is more exciting when it's stolen. Saving is much more meaningful if there is the possibility that someone can steal it."

"Life is more meaningful when someone is actively trying to kill you. Murder is much less exciting because it's wrong."

You see the problem? The notion that actively doing something awful to someone else makes what they have meaningful, and what you are doing exciting is just selfishness and justification.

You don't like monogamy? No one is forcing you into it. Unhappy with your [life | partner | marriage | whatever] and you think the answer is outside your agreed upon monogamous relationship? End it. Divorce is legal. Breaking up without marriage is even easier. There is no tyranny is a relationship you enter into of your own volition.

You have children? Don't be an asshole and hurt their other parent because you have issues. End the relationship before starting another one. Be the person your children can respect.

The other person in the relationship? Don't be that. Because you are being a party to deceit. No, you aren't the one cheating, and that justification only goes so far, but it still shows a base selfishness that informs your character. You ought to expect to be hated, because that weakness and selfishness that makes up your character is the instrument that harms someone else. In the pain that is being caused, you are the weapon that is being used by the person cheating to hurt their partner.

It increases the odds of getting an STD I believe. But I don't have numbers to back that up nor do I feel like looking for them now (sorry)

Now that the chauvinist statement is out of the way. Men cheat too. :)

I don't think anyone can say that monogamy has anything to do with raising children. I do not see why the barbarous requirement for having sex with one person needs to even be there in the first place. I don't have the same car for the rest of my life, don't drink the same thing or eat the same thing every day for the rest of my life either. Why not be able to taste other flowers in the garden as well. That does not mean i don't love or care about the mother of my child. As long as i take care of my responsibilities regarding my children. I see no reason why this requirement is imposed by society. Other than pure culturalism and brainwashing, which one could argue is indirectly the same thing.

Maybe it has something to do with possession. Maybe insecurity that my wife will like John's dick more than mine or love his Porsche more than my Buick. Don't you want to find that stuff out early about your partner vs later... Isn't your partners ability and her/his care for your children more important than who he/she wants to screw every once in a while. I definitely agree that if your partner is a nympho, well maybe you should not have stuck your dick in crazy to begin with or pretend to embody the white knight syndrome to it's full extent.

I think this "monogamy" business matters way more when the people in the relationship are unequal to begin with. If they are equal , financially for example, which i feel matters a lot when you are co-raising your children. You do not feel as betrayed because, as far as your hard earned resources are concerned, she/he is not taking any, only the children are. So who cares who your partners wants to screw in their off time. Which leads me to think of the next possibility, possession. My oh my, this person is mine and mine only. Lol It's 2017, we do not hit women over the head with cave man bats and drag them to our layers. But in some countries i guess we still do and we expect them to shut up when we tell them to and bring our beers over to the couch or else they won't get the credit card the next time they go to the mall. Wait, i just realized i just described some people i know. :) There are only a few feedback loops you can take advantage of. Lol

Parents can parent without marriage or monogamy. Why can't they?

This is leftover idealism imposed by the church and land-rights interest groups from ages ago. It just so happens it was enforced and people attempt to adhere to it. But obviously the statistics are against their success. The more women become equal and educated. The more divorce there is and the less babies get born. If those things are happening, i don't see any reason why changes in the family structure should not happen as well.

Usually a systems homeostasis usually communicates something about the nature of it's processes. The divorce rates should tell us something. Now that the gloves are off regarding divorce being taboo or being shunned by your social circle, this is if you are living in a country which does not look down on you if you don't want to put up with your partners bs anymore and leave. If you do, well clearly you are living someone else's life.

I think contraception and planning when you're going to have a kid and who with becomes even more critical.

Too much effort for me!