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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#231

Post by cmrdporcupine »

knorker wrote: post #164
jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

So what you're saying is "you don't. People with children will not be as good". Great. That means I should not feel bad about any hypothetical statistics that show parents paid less than non-parents. You're saying parents are, on average, statistically, not as useful as non-parents to a company.

No he's saying the definition of "being good" is not obsessively adopting "new technology" but realizing that the core foundations of CS are the core foundations of CS, and doing your job 8 hours a day and learning your core skill set and iterating and practicing on it is in fact all that is needed to produce a good programmer.

Frankly I think those of us who have been in the industry over 15 or 20 years know that adopting new technologies is not the hard or important part. Having the wisdom about how, when, and what to apply things, recognizing good engineering, and learning to work well in a team -- that's what's important.

Having kids might mean you can't stay up at night learning the latest JS framework -- but that very likely might be a good thing.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#232

Post by uptownfunk »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I work at a consulting firm. On internal calls, it's usually totally fine generally speaking, but perhaps a different matter if it is a client call.

Frankly given the hours people work, I respect that they're taking time to be with their kids and trying to find some balance in between the insane hours we work.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#233

Post by majkinetor »

If you have more then 2 kids, its either your life is over as you know it or you suck as a parent (ready to get minuses here from supper moms and dads).

With 1 or 2 kids there is life. Less life then before when talking about work, or you suck as a parent.

The thing is, you can't devote all your time to kids. Too much attention and they become unable to do anything on their own, they will require your presence all the time. Too little with kids and you suck as a parent and get to miss single time event, enjoying the time with your kids while they are the appropriate age and you are still their hero.

So it turns to be a balance, IMO - some days or weeks you will get 0 personal time for development and some days you will get planty. Count a time with the spouse too. Bad relation on this level quickly turns out to be the worst decision for entire family.

Now, some other skills will be useful here: triage, organizational skills, medicine (to keep yourself helthy as much as possible and in good shape) etc...

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#234

Post by vonmoltke »

methyl wrote: post #156
nb777 wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you are not living in a city with plenty of developer jobs available then that's often not possible and you are stuck to the boring job "for money" scheme. Of course you can always relocate but this has its own downsides...

We as developers have privilege to work remotely. Don't excuse yourself saying "I need an office and people around". That's just not true, as you gain so huge amount of perks when you find a remote job it's madness if you don't even try it for a year or two. If you really go crazy alone you can always find coworking space almost anywhere in the world. Moreover, constantly look for opportunities. I recently heard very…

If you are not a web developer or DevOps it is very unlikely you have that privilege. I currently do ML/NLP, and my heart is really in embedded. Almost nobody is going to hire me to do either remotely.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#235

Post by TheSmoke »

minhajuddin wrote: post #180
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

I have two kids, and I love the time I spend with them. My life's goal at the moment is "Have a good time with my kids and teach them the good stuff". There is this song "Cat's in the Cradle" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat's_in_the_Cradle which I really love. It shows the pitfalls of living a fast life. Pasting the lyrics here ( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harrychapin/catsinthecradle.h... ) : "Cat's In The Crad…

and here's the barney stinson version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmc6xdWpZVk

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#236

Post by teddyc »

shakna wrote: post #149
tehwalrus wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have both this "to learn" list and an ever expanding bookshelf (which grows faster than I can read the damn things, mostly thanks to recommendations in HN comments). Being 5 months into the parenting adventure, I seem to get a few hours a month on each side project at the moment! It really does make you prioritise. (And work harder on things I can do on my rail commute than other tasks). I haven't got to the "wants…

My daughter just turned five months. Her favorite game at the moment is to press all the buttons on my keyboard. Whether or not a computer is remotely nearby. I might not have much time to bang away on code, but seeing her proud of grabbing and biting a book, is much more exciting.

Yeah, I did that, and then some of the buttons stopped working on the keyboard from too much smashing from the children. In the end, I removed the cable from the keyboard and it became a toy. I never let the kids play with the replacement one, but they do love having their own real keyboard.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#237

Post by WhiteSource1 »

quantumhobbit wrote: post #230
krisgenre wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

I had a video call interview recently and my interviewer was being attacked by his new puppy during the call. Although distracting it made me want to work there.

The comparison between kids & pets is amusing. So many workplaces are pet-friendly (despite people having allergies or phobias) but try bringing your toddler to the office.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#238

Post by mantas »

sigi45 wrote: post #215
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

I wouldn't do that. I do know that i personaly don't like that and therefore i wouldn't do that to others. There are two types of people: Who like kids and think it is cute and the other half.

And the other half who don't think kids are quite, but don't mind some small talk. Wether it's kids, morning run or yesterday's party.

Personally I'd hate rush calls that are business only and straight to the point. Virtually all my calls include some offtopic. And that's fine, we're humans, not robots.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#239

Post by cabaalis »

minhajuddin wrote: post #180
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

I have two kids, and I love the time I spend with them. My life's goal at the moment is "Have a good time with my kids and teach them the good stuff". There is this song "Cat's in the Cradle" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat's_in_the_Cradle which I really love. It shows the pitfalls of living a fast life. Pasting the lyrics here ( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harrychapin/catsinthecradle.h... ) : "Cat's In The Crad…

I am now very sad, thanks. My little four year old son is asleep in the bed next to me, and I've been working since 3am. I can't let it stay like that.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#240

Post by csixty4 »

My kid turns one in a month. I'm just starting to get coding time back in my life.

Usually it's after everybody goes to bed, which I known is a bargain with the devil because I can't remember the last time I was allowed to sleep in on a weekend & catch up on sleep.

The other thing that helps is the fact I work from home. So my wife encourages me to get out of the apartment for a couple hours every day on the weekends. So, I go to Starbucks and code or read for a bit.

Everything is different with the little guy around, but it's a trade-off I can live with.

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