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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#181

Post by ceautery »

knorker wrote: post #164
jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

So what you're saying is "you don't. People with children will not be as good". Great. That means I should not feel bad about any hypothetical statistics that show parents paid less than non-parents. You're saying parents are, on average, statistically, not as useful as non-parents to a company.

What kind of trolling nonsense is this? The senior engineers I know all have spouses and children, and our employers find us quite desirable to have around.

If you're focusing on learning each new whizbang whatsit that comes out, you'll never learn how to lead a team. You'll teach your employer that you can be abused, because you are desperate to impress them.

Giving up a family to stay ahead will leave you a lonely, burned out mess. This is a marathon, brother, not a sprint.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#182

Post by joefreeman »

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

> Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are [not important]

Maybe 'most', but some of it is important in terms of developing your skill set. It can be difficult to know which bits are going to become important (popular), so learning about as much as you can will a) increase the chances of you learning about something that will become relevant, b) getting better at filtering out the noise.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#183

Post by tmaly »

The key thing to remember is that when you have kids, you can have exactly one hobby. If keeping your github account green is your hobby, you can do it.

You just have to stay healthy, eat, exercise, and get up an hour or two before everyone else.

I have been doing it for 4 years now, and I am still able to ship features on my side project.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#184

Post by krisgenre »

bshimmin wrote: post #177
caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#185

Post by mmjaa »

I have two kids. They're awesome. I make time for them on the weekend, and when possible during the week. I include them in my work life by explaining the things I'm up to during the week.

But the key thing is that when I'm with my kids, I'm with them and not focusing on other things. That seems to be the most important thing: quality time with the kids, even if its a small amount of time, makes all the difference in the world.

I also make sure to spend time building things with them - airplanes, marble-runs, whatever. It helps when I'm not around, because they can improve things and report back when we next have quality time together - and that has been really beneficial on those weeks when I've not gotten home in time to spend at least a few minutes with them each day .. we have a project in some kind of state, and while we're not able to spend time together, they improve on that project. Having these kinds of things happening has been quite important to us having, in my opinion, a great relationship.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#186

Post by mmjaa »

krisgenre wrote: post #184
bshimmin wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I agree it might be unprofessional but I would totally love to work with a team that doesn't find this annoying.

I work in a professional team, and one of the things that makes us even more professional is when we all get our kids together for a gathering, and let our kids inter-mingle. It has helped us become less of a group of cold-hearted single-minded professionals and more of a coherent, self-interested group with aligned survival potential.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#188

Post by bsvalley »

Here is a tip - when you have kids it's usually time for you to switch gears and start looking for jobs where you don't code anymore. It's time for you to take more responsibilities at work. Manager, project/product manager, etc. What?? More responsibilities means less free time right?? Think this way - this will put you in a different spot where you will need time to execute a bunch of tasks rahter than having to utilize your brain too much.

It sounds pretty bad but as a parent that's what you do everyday, which makes it easier for you to switch between work and personal life. You reuse the same pattern and it's all about time management rather than trying to fit a task that requires deep thinking, in your busy schedule. For me reaching that quiet moment where my brain is fully awake is way too unpredictable.

So you have to take control of your time by not relying on your brain power too much. Then if you happen to get a quiet moment at home ready to think, nothing stops you from coding or learning new things. The rest is all about teaching your kids rather than staying up to date with the latest framework or programming language. Young people will do it faster and better than you, it will be too hard for you to compete. Let's face it, this industry is all about performance, competition, bonuses. You don't want to be in this position.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#189

Post by codingdave »

On the job. When I need to learn a new skill for a work-related project, I do. I dabble on the sides, to know what is going on in the larger tech world, but I don't fully skill up until work actually demands it.

I do think it is possible to keep up on skills while raising kids. But I'm not sure that you'll be happy with the decision to do so when you are 50, the kids are grown, and you find that your skills are getting outdated anyway, your career is winding down anyway, and you have 20 years of memories of sitting at a desk while your kids do things without you.

Make your own choices, but most old people will recommend you let the career slide a bit, and spend time with family.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#190

Post by pasta »

Reddit [1] asked Bill Gates: "What is your idea of success?". His reply: "Warren Buffett has always said the measure is whether the people close to you are happy and love you."

As a father I also think this is the most important, no matter what. If it means you will be an average programmer, so be it.

But I discovered that you can still keep up by keeping it simple. Because simple saves time.

For example I wanted to learn more about creating web apps. So I took an evening and checked out all kinds of Javascript frameworks like React, Angular, and so on. And I after looking at the examples I ended up with VueJs. Why? Because I could just download one Javascript file to get started. No need to learn all about thousands of package managers, about NodeJs and what not.

I'm not trying to start a war about which Javascript framework is best, or which other framework just works by downloading one file. But what I like to point out, is that there are sometimes options that just work without you having to learn a ton of other stuff.

[1] https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/5whpqs/im_bill_gates_...

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