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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#121

Post by Aeolun »

manyxcxi wrote: post #69
pendu wrote: post #59

I have 2 kids - 4 year old & a 3 month old. I am writing this (comment), as I put my son to sleep. He is almost 4 & wants me to be in the room as he drifts to sleep. So i am sitting beside his bed (after an evening full of quality time with him), checking up on left over work for the day (& hackernews) We just had the second one - who is 3 months old now. So it's still adjusting phase for all of us at home. Sometimes…

We've got 3: 4,2, and 9 months. Thank goodness they all sleep (relatively) well. The baby goes down at 6 and the older ones go down at 7:30 (really, we start the process at like 7, targeting 7:30). We're also incredibly lucky that bedtime isn't much of a fight, it goes pretty smoothly so we're not all ragged for the rest of the night. I usually don't count on doing anything beyond trivial at all after they go to bed-…

I was wondering how you'd end up with kids 2, 4 and 9 months old there for a moment.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#122

Post by eb0la »

I think the best way to skill up with (or without) kids is being in a place with a lot of variance.

With Variance I mean a place where you work with different kinds of problems / business / people and that will lead to work with different technologies.

This seems to work for me (I've got a 3-yr son) and keeps me updated.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#124

Post by ern »

rev_bird wrote: post #74
laoba wrote: post #17

27 - Father of a 4 1/2 year old and a 7 month old. I really don't have time to program in the evenings much, but guess what? That's ok! You'll come to learn that there are more to life than "skilling up." I'm enjoying taking my oldest to after school activities and teaching her math a few years ahead of her age. Programming couldn't bring me any of the happiness that being with my children could.

I appreciate the sentiment here, but for a lot of people I suspect it wouldn't actually be ok to stop learning outside of work. I know there's a lot of pushback on this idea for very good reasons, but if you have a job and want a different one, sometimes evenings and weekends are the times you need to teach yourself the skills you need. I also want to push back a little bit on the idea that "programming couldn't brin…

I agree with you about the need to remain buzzword compliant for jobs, but are we "skilling up" or spinning our wheels? There is some worthwhile learning, but a lot of it is just BS status signaling. Learning another SPA framework that solves the problems of the last framework, while introducing new problems? Learning yet another way to bundle your web content? A new transpiled language to patch the holes in JavaScript?

A lot of what we regard as "skilling up" is just a product of our immature dev culture-learning stuff for the sake of buzzword compliance that doesn't improve anything in the long run. And the high failure rate of software projects shows that we aren't gaining a lot from this culture anyway.

Buzzword compliance is the tech world equivalent of sexual signaling that led to peacocks getting extravagant tails. Developers are stuck in a feedback loop with employers...the more pointless garbage they learn, the more employers value the pointless garbage, and the more developers are forced to learn more pointless garbage. Until they break down, and leave the field to younger men, who perpetuate the cycle.

Fundamental good practices should be learned early on, and honed at work. For the rest, we should work to break the cycle.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#125

Post by hbhakhra »

skrebbel wrote: post #98

This thread is slowly filling up with stories of enthusiastic workaholic parents who are disciplined and fit enough to take every single 15 minute break to sit down and get some code out. If you're able to code up a blog engine with one hand while holding your baby in the other, I envy you. I wish I could muster up the energy and discipline to do something like that. But to other readers: for many people this is not…

I'll add my own anecdote to this. I think the point about getting a better job is spot on. I was working a job for 2 years that wasn't challenging me at all and got to the point that it was almost rote. It was at those times that I felt the need to get intellectual fulfillment by coding outside of work. I was actually able to notice a very significant inverse correlation between the nature of my day job and how interesting it was to my "skill development" outside of work. If you are spending 40 hours a week on challenging technical problems, you should be getting all the skill development you need.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#126

Post by nb777 »

jwr wrote: post #99
skrebbel wrote: post #98

This thread is slowly filling up with stories of enthusiastic workaholic parents who are disciplined and fit enough to take every single 15 minute break to sit down and get some code out. If you're able to code up a blog engine with one hand while holding your baby in the other, I envy you. I wish I could muster up the energy and discipline to do something like that. But to other readers: for many people this is not…

Totally agreed. I find it impossible to work in the afternoons/evenings, because even if you find a moment, it's too hard to concentrate and do meaningful (e.g. hard) stuff. Make the best of your work hours. The idea of a boring job "for money" and fun/learning stuff afterwards is outdated. Don't waste your life on a boring job. Work time should be when you do fascinating stuff and learn.

If you are not living in a city with plenty of developer jobs available then that's often not possible and you are stuck to the boring job "for money" scheme. Of course you can always relocate but this has its own downsides...

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#127

Post by verinus »

tehwalrus wrote: post #117
verinus wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Best reply as I am concerned. I have a "ToLearn" list that keeps getting longer and longer as I struggle to have some quality time where I can learn and really comprehend stuff AFTER putting my 4 year old daughter to sleep- i too have to stay with her till she is asleep- often with me also going to nap... When I am getting stressed and mad about all those constraints I picture the sweet moments with the knowledge, th…

I have both this "to learn" list and an ever expanding bookshelf (which grows faster than I can read the damn things, mostly thanks to recommendations in HN comments). Being 5 months into the parenting adventure, I seem to get a few hours a month on each side project at the moment! It really does make you prioritise. (And work harder on things I can do on my rail commute than other tasks). I haven't got to the "wants…

hehe yes I still remember beeing a first-time-dad :D

But it keeps getting even better- at about 18 months they become "real" persons! I mean they learn to communicate and suddently want things (in the meaning want to do or have).

It's always awesome when my little son takes my hand after dinner and mumbles "build" so I play some duplo with him.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#128

Post by verinus »

caseysoftware wrote: post #111
jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

Nice.

Concerning the Christmas thing: for me my children brought back the magic of Christmas for me too! When it was a super stressful time the years before, but now I can enjoy it again thanks to their enthusiasm and spirit.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#129

Post by stedaniels »

xrd wrote: post #60

It's a great question. Get clear on the myths you develop after having kids. The biggest for me is: I only have ten minutes here, fifteen minutes there. I need focused hours of time to build something. That is just a story. When my first child was born, I used the time to write an app late at night while I was getting my wife some sleep. I called it the one handed blogging tool, because I needed a way to blog with on…

One handed typing? That's great, I'm glad it works for you. All babies and people are built differently. To call (what I imagine to be the majority) those babies that require attention, and those people who can't coherently code when giving their baby their attention, a myth. Sheesh. I wish you all the best.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#130

Post by erikb »

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

Actually it's also a social thing, not just a skill thing. You Need to know the stuff the other People talk about to be part of the gang. Being part of the gang is rewarded. Being outside is punished (sublty). That's just how humans work.
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