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Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

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Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#251

Post by wehadfun »

katbyte wrote: post #234
wingless wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I talk to plenty of actual women in tech. They rarely complain about anything that affects women more than men. And if they do, it usually comes from a die-hard feminist SV hedge fund kid who blows everything out of proportion because of political reasons. So it's equally as shitty for men. Women not choosing to become software engineers or quitting more than men do indicates nothing since there are tons of different…

> Mainly, most women have an easier way out by getting married so they don't have to do any hard work, physically or mentally. How do you think they survive otherwise? That is a pretty sexist and insulting statement.

A less offensive statement would be that marriage and child raising provide women, a choice to having a regular 9-5 job.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#252

Post by Chinjut »

crapolasplatter wrote: post #218
Chinjut wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm short and skinny. (I wouldn't normally describe myself as ugly, but, who knows? I guess that's not up to me to say...). It seems to me there are a ton of short skinny guys in the software engineering industry, so I rarely feel out of place on those particular grounds. If you have a specific question about that experience, though, I'd happily answer it. I have noticed that the paucity of women is undeniable and pe…

"but the environment is definitely experienced differently by many women than for men, in a million small ways, which can add up to big feelings." absolutely agree, but that goes both ways and can be both positive and negative for both sexes. A fat, ugly, short male or female engineer will likely have a different experience than a skinny,attractive, male or female engineer. personally I think looks has more of an imp…

For some things, looks matter a lot. For other things, gender matters a lot. Of course, the way we evaluate looks is itself highly gendered. These are all things worth talking about! That at some particular time, someone wants to discuss one thing doesn't mean dismissing all other concerns or conversations.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#253

Post by pyre »

rimantas wrote: post #119
hnbroseph wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it's also sad that you can't just call someone to netflix and chill....right?

No. I prefer to watch movies snd shows alone, so attention needs not to be divided.

"Netflix and chill" is current code for having sex. The idea is that you go over to someone's house turn on Netflix and proceed to ignore it while you have sex. @hnbroseph was playing off of the fact that this is another phrase that when taken literally is innocent, but has implied meaning in a certain cultural context.

Though "Netflix and chill" is probably less ambiguous in most cases since it wasn't a commonly used phrase before it gained its implied meaning.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#254

Post by nickpsecurity »

wingless wrote: post #182
wpietri wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you would talk with some actual women in tech, you would learn that many women choose not to become software engineers (and choose to leave at 2x the rate of men) because it is often a shitty environment for them. You would also learn that plenty of people are working on making a more inclusive industry for reasons that have nothing to do with pushing down their own wages. I'm one of them.

I talk to plenty of actual women in tech. They rarely complain about anything that affects women more than men. And if they do, it usually comes from a die-hard feminist SV hedge fund kid who blows everything out of proportion because of political reasons. So it's equally as shitty for men. Women not choosing to become software engineers or quitting more than men do indicates nothing since there are tons of different…

I worked in public-facing positions enough to talk to hundreds to thousands of women about their jobs, life, and such. I'm even in the South where higher percentage supports so-called traditional families where marriage is important. Vast majority of women I've met both work and got married. Many of them work ridiculously hard. A subset are stay at home mom's or married for money. They're less common to rare dependinv on area I was in.

So, my areas are where your statement had better chance of being true but was still wrong and sexist with a sample size of 1000+. Most women try to have a good job where they get stuff done with desirable pay and environment. Like the men do.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#255

Post by mrtron »

daxorid wrote: post #208
nsxwolf wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife would be furious.

Elephant in the room. Nobody seems to want to discuss the very real chilling effect of spousal mate-guarding behavior on workplace camaraderie. Thank you sir.

Didn't know this was a thing. Can you explain why it would be a problem?

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#256

Post by nickpsecurity »

wehadfun wrote: post #251
katbyte wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Mainly, most women have an easier way out by getting married so they don't have to do any hard work, physically or mentally. How do you think they survive otherwise? That is a pretty sexist and insulting statement.

A less offensive statement would be that marriage and child raising provide women, a choice to having a regular 9-5 job.

For majority I interviewed, it provided the women an extra job on top of a 9a-5p or crazy-scheduled job with pay varying from crap to good. A very, small number coild trade one for the other. On rare occasions, roles reversed with the guy being a stay at home dad or using a well-off woman to avoid full-time (or any work lol).

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#257

Post by [deleted] »

cynoclast wrote: post #209
20years wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My answers as a female. 1.) Not completely. This profession isn't appealing to a lot of women for many reasons outside of it being prominently male dominated. 2.) No 3.) In my early career I was always the only female on smaller male dominated teams. New male devs that came in initially automatically assumed I was administration. It only took a few days for them to realize what I did and all had total respect after.…

>I personally think the heavy PR push towards women in code over the last couple of years It's not been 'the last few years' It's been about 30, now. I can remember them pushing when I was in elementary school. Also, it's a misnomer to call it '[gender] dominated'. Tech is largely female rejected . Just as most men reject teaching, nursing, or the social sciences. Those aren't female dominated either, but male reject…

[deleted]

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#258

Post by pyre »

fasdf wrote: post #131
user5994461 wrote: post #97

The solution to all gender problems: Actively ignore all topics and articles with "woman" or "female" in the title. People are who they are and go where they want. Tech is no exception. When one walks into a car garage, one doesn't make a fuss about mechanics being all men. When one walks into a kindergarden, one doesn't make a fuss about teachers being all women.

I do think that kindergarten teachers being all women is a big problem. If I have a son someday, I would want him to have some good male teachers that he can look up to from a young age. I had one in 5th grade and it really helped me.

If you're a man, and say that you want to teach kids "people" will suspect you of being a pedophile.

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#259

Post by NTDF9 »

chillacy wrote: post #144
NTDF9 wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But I'm not trying to 'balance' anything out. Equality means equal regardless of gender. So if one can have "Ask a female athlete", why not "Ask a male athlete". Your example is valid too. This is a genuine question. How would it be unequal for males to start such a forum for anything they want?

To add some terminology: http://imgur.com/a/hS0yk You're asking for the left picture, others are asking for the right picture. As for how the world would respond... some would laugh, some would get mad. But that would be like if you walked into some poor rural town afflicted by unemployment and held up a sign that said "I make over $100k working a tech job in San Francisco. Every spare bit of change helps." Some woul…

I understand that picture very well. Thanks for bringing it up.

I really think equality of opportunity should exist beyond social lines like gender, race, disabilities etc.

But equality of outcome? Why? Why should everyone have equal outcome? What is the reward for hard work then? Why be a good person if being a bad one will bring the same outcome?

When everyone starts with the same opportunities, the hardworker, smartworker, dedicated, persistent deserves more than the lazy, douchebag, not dedicated, not doing something themselves and always wanting others to do things for them. Don't you agree?

Re: Introducing “Ask a Female Engineer”

#260

Post by 1_2__3 »

kaybe wrote: post #250
debacle wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I encountered this just yesterday. Interviewed a lovely woman with a gender neutral name and a fantastic resume that I assumed was a man before getting on the phone with her. She turned out to be just as good as she looked on paper, and I'm certainly looking forward to hiring her. I feel like gender only matters to the kind of people that gender matters to (tautologies are cool).

It would be nice if implicit biases and subconscious prejudices just went away if we started to ignore them.

It'd be even nicer if people stopped being so judgemental that they no longer judge people's unrevealed thoughts and instead base their opinion on actions. Because telling people they have a secret and unknown racist/misogynist hiding inside them guiding them covertly is probably never gonna convince anybody to change their mind.
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