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Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

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Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#451

Post by mepiethree »

goatinaboat wrote: post #440
mepiethree wrote: post #438

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently got promoted to be the manager of a guy who has literally been my best friend since we were 10. Anyone got advice about how to not be doomed to be a bad boss or bad friend?

I recently got promoted to be the manager of a guy who has literally been my best friend since we were 10. There will come a time when you will know something he can't know, such as layoffs are coming. Or maybe he deserves that promotion/raise but you can't give it to him because everyone knows you're friends and you open yourself to accusations of favoritism (or worse). If you really want to square this circle the o…

This is important context to keep in mind. But, I work for a 20 person company, so only two reporting lines to choose from :\

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#452

Post by mepiethree »

kls wrote: post #445
mepiethree wrote: post #438

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently got promoted to be the manager of a guy who has literally been my best friend since we were 10. Anyone got advice about how to not be doomed to be a bad boss or bad friend?

Relax and don't take all advice and catch sayings a gospel. I have risen thru the ranks to the CTO position several times in my career and I brought my friends along with me. If he is a good worker, he will remain a good worker most likely. In my career I have only had to fire one of my friends and it was literally because he developed a drug problem so bad he was showing up to work totally out of it. I counseled him…

Thanks. the fact that you took the time to share all this means a lot to me

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#453

Post by pmarreck »

whiddershins wrote: post #206
pmarreck wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is why, if I ever manage, my focus will be on timely deliverables and not on time-at-desk. Give me a day when you think you can deliver something, update me as soon as you realize you can't ("manage expectations"), and do whatever you want with the rest of your time...

One way that fails is when you are trying to nurture talent that really isn’t where it needs to be yet.

Maybe measure estimate accuracy over time, then, and reward improvement there.

Surely, as one gets more skilled, their estimates will tend to zero in on accuracy more

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#454

Post by blaser-waffle »

mark-r wrote: post #411
DaiPlusPlus wrote: post #398

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The original - or the US adaptation?

The US version is what I saw. I'm not sure how it differs from the original.

The UK version was fairly short but hit all the high points pretty well. The US version had several more seasons and had more opportunities to build characters and explore ideas, which worked until around Season 5-6. The later seasons of the US edition had their moments, but were clearly running out of steam.

Cue the inevitable Ribbonfarm link in 3... 2... 1...

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#455

Post by blaser-waffle »

jlj wrote: post #263
perl4ever wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could call it transparency. It's vastly better to have someone make you aware of what's up than blindside you or gaslight you by giving contradictory information/demands.

> You could call it transparency Nope. 100% passive aggressive, toxic behavior.

As someone who has done hiring and firing, there are absolutely times when I cannot be upfront with people. Like, explicitly, "word from the top is don't talk about how we're hiring X and firing Y."

Doing things like that is kind of shady, but there are often times when you cannot straight up tell people things but still need or want to send signals.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#456

Post by whiddershins »

pmarreck wrote: post #453
whiddershins wrote: post #206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One way that fails is when you are trying to nurture talent that really isn’t where it needs to be yet.

Maybe measure estimate accuracy over time, then, and reward improvement there. Surely, as one gets more skilled, their estimates will tend to zero in on accuracy more

I’m just saying when someone is learning, I really am looking for them to put the time in for a while.

Skills tend to increase in nonlinear jumps, so I’m not looking for a targeted increase. I’m looking for someone to discover what they are actually capable of which is often more than they anticipate.

A great way to get there is to immerse yourself.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#457

Post by blaser-waffle »

amznthrowaway5 wrote: post #308
wpietri wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You must work at a pretty healthy company. Because those checks also exist at unhealthy companies, but there managers just know how to work the system. E.g., I know somebody whose manager was pushed out for political reasons. Their first meeting with their new boss, the one who did the pushing, was a 90-minute series of accusations and critiques. In the second meeting, they were presented with a letter documenting th…

This is also the experience I've had with PIPs, "performance" reviews and promotions at large companies. Also incompetent but well connected people are some of the most likely to be promoted into management.

"I've seen dookie roll up hills" referring to both incidents/misery, but also shitbirds getting promoted.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#458

Post by xapata »

P-ala-din wrote: post #444
xapata wrote: post #435

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"In one study" means "In a particular sample." A sample does not always share the same characteristics as the population.

if a study can't be replicated then the study is wrong isn't it? either the sample was too small, they got unlucky or the result is stated too generally.

> if a study can't be replicated then the study is wrong isn't it?

Not necessarily. Maybe the replications were flawed. Characteristics of a population can change over time. Blah, blah, blah. It's incredibly hard to say something is flat wrong or absolutely correct. A good scientist uses what others might call "weasel" words (I hate that term), like, "The data is (in)consistent with the hypothesis."

The more evidence that mounts for or against a hypothesis, well, it's up to you to decide how to act.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#459

Post by cmonnow »

notJim wrote: post #336
cmonnow wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wisdom is realizing no one really has power over you. You are voluntarily & temporarily handing over that power to someone else in exchange for money. The moment you renounce your desire for money from that company, you get back that power you handed over. And that was, is, and will, always be your decision. Thus, the power never left your hands.

> You are voluntarily & temporarily handing over that power to someone else in exchange for money. The thing you're missing is that money is required to live. If I "voluntarily" decide to stop earning it, or if I end up in a job where I earn substantially less, a state employee with a gun will eventually show up to my house and evict me from it. If I am hungry and take some food from a store, a state employee with a…

You're missing the point.

There is always a power dynamic as long as you have desires.

Even the state employee with a gun has someone else he needs to answer to, or that someone else with a bigger gun will show up at his house.

To the saint/monk/yogi who needs nothing but a fruit a day from a nearby tree, no power on earth has a "power-dynamic" over him.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#460

Post by yasinaydin »

I just have this joke done to me, at my new company, on my 2nd week, just a while ago. I hid my feelings well, but that second and since then, my bond with my company reduced to half.

I don't have much opportunities around because it's a small city and because of COVID, so I kept shut.

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