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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#421

Post by AlecSchueler »

DonHopkins wrote: post #303
AlecSchueler wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I meant Belfast specifically, and across Ulster more generally (Derry and Donegal would be hotspots), but I know there's good and multi-national craic in at least Cork and Galway as well. Might be less in the Pale but I don't really know; I just take my not knowing to mean it must not be there as strongly or otherwise I'd hear about it. Re: the students, that's true but there are also plenty of students from other pa…

If/when you're in Amsterdam and into punk rock dive bars, Cafe The Minds is mixed and diverse and inclusive, unlike the other boring uniform venues you describe. It's not the only exception that proves the rule, but some of the other wonderfully mixed venues like Korsakoff have closed long ago or during Covid, unfortunately. In the gay scene, de Trut is still going strong every Sunday night, and is totally welcoming…

Thanks for the tip, I'll be sure to check it out if I'm up that way!

Didn't mean to suggest that the Netherlands didn't have friendly or inclusive places, hope it didn't come across that way.

It's just that in Ireland I know I can go out alone and end up back at someone's house at the end of the night. In most "normal bars" here (doe normaal hoor!) out even just at a bus stop, say, when I try to talk to strangers they look at me like I'm interrupting them. Which is fair enough, just a cultural difference.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#422

Post by lanstin »

spoiler wrote: post #395
lanstin wrote: post #393

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You may wish to read some books by people who have lived under fascist regimes. It is a bit more intense than being criticized by busy bodies.

We aren't talking about regimes, though… Why move the discussion?

If it isn’t trying to take over the government and replace a decadent democracy with the Old True Values it isn’t really fascism.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#423

Post by spoiler »

lanstin wrote: post #422
spoiler wrote: post #395

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We aren't talking about regimes, though… Why move the discussion?

If it isn’t trying to take over the government and replace a decadent democracy with the Old True Values it isn’t really fascism.

Right, I've maybe misspoken then. Sorry about that. I think I meant traits that I commonly associated with fascism (bigotry, opression, discrimination, etc).

In any case, I don't know what to call it, but the resemblance to witch trials, heresy (and maybe fascism? I'm unsure now) is just uncanny.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#424

Post by spoiler »

guano___ wrote: post #341
spoiler wrote: post #333

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why does it have to be interpreted as fascist rhetoric? What propaganda does it embed? Why does everything have to revolve around hatred? Also, you don't have to be macho or physically strong to be strong. That just seems like your own bias leaking into the discussion. That it might promote contempt for weakness might be true, though, and it didn't cross my mind. I don't like that it does that. At the same time I don…

I'm not sure about fascism, but there's a lot of historical context to the quote. Bret Devereaux has a series of posts where he delves into the history of the idea behind the meme - https://acoup.blog/2020/01/17/collections-the-fremen-mirage-... It's a thoroughly interesting debunking, and in part IIIb, he talks about how the trope was used to promote racial purity and superiority.

Thank you for posting that! I've not read it yet. It seems like an interesting read (I love esoteric trivia like this!). I started it but realised it's much longer than I am prepared for this late at night. So, I'll try to read it over the coming days.

I don't know if it improves later, but they seem to only consider physical prowess as a form of strength. I generally interpreted this as strength of mind.

Also, I've taken the phrase less literally than they did. Man to me implied "human" (ie the same as man kind) because these quotes are usually designed to be succinct and memorable. They seem to think it's exclusive to human males.

But I've not read it in full yet, so we'll see when I finish it

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#426

Post by tomcam »

ch4s3 wrote: post #295
andai wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. Zoomer here, could you elaborate on this?

Before good treatment was widely available something like pneumonia could kill you if you had AIDS which was tearing through the gay communities in major cities at the time. These men basically built rave culture, ran most of the fashion houses, ran magazines(think GQ), and built a lot of popular culture in the 80s/90s. There was a culture of celebrating life in the face of gruesome and painful death. Magazines an zi…

These guys were smart, delightful company, and a lot of fun. Some were my friends. Some remain in my pantheon of artists. I still sorely miss Keith Haring. They also flagrantly violated guidelines that would have kept them alive, like keeping it in your pants or at least not fucking every guy in the bathhouse bareback. This was the rule, not the exception. I watched this happen in terror when it was called GRIDS, then when it was called AIDS. These guys, I am sorry to say, almost always brought on their own gruesome and painful deaths.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#427

Post by DonHopkins »

annyeonghada wrote: post #373
DonHopkins wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Your lack of empathy for men and your objectification of men as mere walking dicks is truly disgusting. You are definitely part of why men do not trust women: you are part of the problem. If being afraid of the, quite frequent, false accusations is misogyny then I am a misogynist.

Yes, I think from your comment history that it is quite clear that you are a misogynist, and that because of that, your opinions don't matter, and nobody cares what you think.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34244423

>But if the man decide to not want to be a "slave" of the woman who "doesn't love him anymore" he must pay or go to prison. Yay reproductive rights for me but not for thee! How dare man not wanting to slave away at the benefits of women! And let's remember that in EVERY society men pay ALL the taxes and women are ALWAYS net beneficiaries, not exactly "slaves".

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#428

Post by bennyelv »

lotsoweiners wrote: post #239
bennyelv wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Assuming you mean that your expectations grow and shrink with your means: The person in question is married, husband makes a solid wage, and she would be doing exactly the same if it wasn't for children. It was a conscious decision/plan to do the kids thing. I wouldn't focus on this specific example however, that wasn't my intention. My point is that people give up so much in order to raise children. One of the major…

This is something you may not understand because you don’t have kids but for my wife and I the kids are the reward. We partied hard (too hard), traveled to other countries, etc but after having kids we realized that stuff was pointless and we don’t miss it at all unless we can do it with our kids. I’m in my 40s and have plenty of friends who are single or married with no kids and if I had to pick who I know seems the…

I get that too - I know plenty of people who are very happy about their choice to have kids, despite the lack of what they used to call fun since having them.

I understand that having dependents give you purpose, and that purpose is (for whatever reason) something that us humans need to be happy.

What I don’t agree with is that you can’t find purpose without having kids that gives you the same satisfaction. If the problem being solved is that in the philosophical sense life is pointless, then your children’s life is as pointless as yours and having children therefore cannot create purpose for that life.

If “purpose” can be reduced to “something challenging that you care deeply about and dedicate your life to” then there are things other than children that can create it. For example the quest to perfect a skill (perhaps in sport, or in art, etc). What matters is that you care about it and it is challenging enough to create failure and the satisfaction of overcoming failure.

Travelling and partying are not things that meet that criteria (what difficulty is there to overcome? How do you know if you’ve succeeded?), so on their own they are not a purpose.

Those are my thoughts on it anyway, I know everyone has different feelings about this.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#429

Post by satvikpendem »

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

Interesting, this has not been my experience at all. I just throw parties, invite everyone, and whoever comes, comes, and whoever doesn't, doesn't. That's it, I don't even think about dietary concerns or other stuff like that. I'll keep some vegan or vegetarian stuff purely incidentally but if people have a strong concern, they bring their own food or simply don't come, same with any other type of concern too.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#430

Post by CalRobert »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #421
DonHopkins wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If/when you're in Amsterdam and into punk rock dive bars, Cafe The Minds is mixed and diverse and inclusive, unlike the other boring uniform venues you describe. It's not the only exception that proves the rule, but some of the other wonderfully mixed venues like Korsakoff have closed long ago or during Covid, unfortunately. In the gay scene, de Trut is still going strong every Sunday night, and is totally welcoming…

Thanks for the tip, I'll be sure to check it out if I'm up that way! Didn't mean to suggest that the Netherlands didn't have friendly or inclusive places, hope it didn't come across that way. It's just that in Ireland I know I can go out alone and end up back at someone's house at the end of the night. In most "normal bars" here (doe normaal hoor!) out even just at a bus stop, say, when I try to talk to strangers the…

Wow, that's very different to my own experince. The midlands at least seem quite insular.
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