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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#241

Post by wincy »

badcppdev wrote: post #145
wincy wrote: post #51

Interestingly, we started having parties around October 2020 with other libertarians that were fed up with Covid restrictions. Our house became known as a bit of a party spot, we’re in our mid-30s and spent some money to make everything nice in our basement for hosting guests. It also served as sort of a semi official “plot to take over the state libertarian party” event, as the official party stance was curiously mu…

Just want to check. Were parties illegal at that point in your local jurisdiction? It's a great story but as anecdata on the question of parties in general it's quite a specific scenario

They were not illegal. We weren’t breaking any laws just nobody was having parties, bars were mostly empty, just in general people weren’t inviting friends over.

I’ve seen no uptick in parties since then. Pre Covid we often got invited to SOMETHING.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#242

Post by johnchristopher »

spoiler wrote: post #206
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

A friend recently introduced me to this quote, and even though it generalises a little[1], I think it ring true: > Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. I think we're entering that last cycle again, where people are inventing trivial hardships for themselves, because media teaches them that only a life with some type of adversity is wor…

> The recent trend of unironically calling people "NPCs" and "bots" just reinforces these beliefs, IMO.

I missed that one, though now that I read it I realize there's a lot of bot calling going-on on an FPS server I regularly visit.

By the way, is this site done with calling regular people "normies" ?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#243

Post by agilob »

You know that parties work both ways and you can organise one? Invite your old friends, your children and maybe some of their friends to a party that's around end of February, so everyone has enough time to book the evening off. Ask to re-confirm their attendance a few day before

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#244

Post by yafbum »

tylertyler wrote: post #229

I have some pretty hard stats on this because I'm a long time employee of PaperlessPost.com an online event invitation company. You are correct that the number of parties is generally influenced by seasonal and life arch trends, social spheres and what is happening in the world. Generally from what we see, most parties happen because of significant events in peoples lives. A 50th birthday party usually seems importan…

Thanks for sharing insights from data! If you guys publish more stats somewhere, I'd be very interested in reading more. Sounds like you're sitting on a gold mine of firsthand social science data (sizes of events, rsvp latencies, types of events, etc)

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#245

Post by severino »

> COVID happened and we still haven't restarted partying the way we used to

Only that it's still ongoing. Of course, one thing is that most of us no longer give a s* about it and we don't care getting infected a dozen times in a year with a disease that can sometimes be deadly.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#246

Post by DonHopkins »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #54
carlosjobim wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think women have always been aware of that risk. It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Go back enough in time and even real sexual accusations were of no concern to many men.

Ah, I get your point that it's about what's changed through time Though I'd add to that that the common awareness--an acceptance of speaking publicly about and solidarity in not standing for--sexual assault, is something that has grown dramatically in the past decade for women. In the past many of these things would be covered in shame and swept under the rug but now the issues are more visible and many younger women…

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#247

Post by 10000truths »

Aerroon wrote: post #182
curiousllama wrote: post #135

One thing I observed moving cities recently, and realized has been true for much of my life: there's a pretty small number of people who actually organize things. As the density of your social network naturally decreases, you may have lost a few eigenvector-central social network nodes. Think back to those work parties: were they really spontaneous, or did "Janice in Accounting" always seem to step up? For me, there…

> there's a pretty small number of people who actually organize things I've observed the same thing in video games with group activities. People sit in party finder waiting for somebody else to organize a group. They could make the group themselves, but they don't. They just sit there and wait until somebody else does it. In real life I can understand this apprehension a lot more, but in games it's the difference of…

With video games, if you want a group of N people, then creating a new group means you have to wait until N-1 other people join. If you join an existing group of N-1 people, then the group is ready to go as soon as you join. Of course, finding that group of N-1 people might take longer than just creating a group of N people yourself, but the human mind is easily lulled into sunk costs.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#248

Post by unity1001 »

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

Nah. I think it was always like this:

> - I'm just getting old (closing in on 50) and people my age don't party anymore

I remember my parents' generation and their friends circle. My parents' friends circle was not only a friends circle, but it was a group of people who studied in the university altogether, in the same disciplines, and got appointed to the same city and actually same organizations after graduation. So not only they were just friends, but they were also work friends, colleagues, a lot of things.

I remember them regularly meeting in each other's houses and having fun, going to places together, taking vacations together and doing many other things up until ~40 years of age. Then such things suddenly became much more infrequent, then altogether stopping by their mid 40s.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#249

Post by ankaAr »

yafbum wrote: post #195
orangetuba wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately I don't even live in the US, but BBQ with someone Argentinian would be incredible.

One Argentinian I knew really wanted to BBQ a whole cow. Does need the ability to throw a big party!

Very common on regional parties to do that, but the whole cow meat is not good for BBQ. Some meat is better for stews, other to bake or to cook in a pan. It is common to BBQ the whole ribs.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#250

Post by r00fus »

cyanbane wrote: post #101

I felt like there was a downward trend in parties before COVID hit for me. This would be me in my late 30s. In our 20s I feel like we still went to a lot of parties and tried to at least "drop by" when we could. But then we had kids and it became a lot harder - but we still try to make the important things ( bdays, graduations, etc ). This was the micro ( and just where I was in life ) now, with COVID I feel like a)…

COVID was a huge shift IMHO - we used to complain about large kids parties every weekend (as parents), but nowadays if my kids are invited, they're with close friends and usually not more than 5-6. And it's now like 1-2/mo not every weekend.

My spouse is thrilled with this; we go do family stuff more on weekends. I don't mind the socialization but don't miss the rush to buy gifts every week.

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