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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#271

Post by sahila »

ryandrake wrote: post #233
rank0 wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This idea is something if felt but have been unable to articulate. For example, one of my very close friends is an ultra progressive guy. He’s vegan and talks a lot about personal responsibility to combat climate change. He was condemning people partying at my house for using disposable vapes since the packaging and plastic is wasteful…never mind the 6 pack of beer bottles he brought! Another close friend is borderli…

At least in the US, extreme political polarization has also made it so ~40% of people won't even hang out or party with another ~40% of people, and vice versa. I've got friends on both sides, and I'd never be able to host a successful party that included them all. People can't leave that shit at home anymore.

I don’t understand why should people “leave that shit at home”? I’m not defending the parent example of a friend being progressive and criticizing others while engaging in similar wasteful behavior, but if you really believe in something, doesn’t it hurt to see the opposite? I suppose most people’s views in the US are superficial and team based in which case then I agree.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#272

Post by andai »

motohagiography wrote: post #265
QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has health problems that forcibly put me in at least a few of those "discretionary lifestyle demands," it's a little condescending for you to just dismiss it later as "neuroticism and anxiety about maintaining purity." The worst is probably COVID-related -- immunocompromised people have been complaining for these past couple of years about how the world just stopped taking COVID seriously and they stil…

A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. It's not condescending if your issues are in fact discretionary. I travel with someone who will die within an hour of exposure to peanuts, regularly spend time with people in their 80's and 90s who have been on deaths door for years, rid…

>A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today.

Zoomer here, could you elaborate on this?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#273

Post by AlecSchueler »

DonHopkins wrote: post #246
AlecSchueler wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ah, I get your point that it's about what's changed through time Though I'd add to that that the common awareness--an acceptance of speaking publicly about and solidarity in not standing for--sexual assault, is something that has grown dramatically in the past decade for women. In the past many of these things would be covered in shame and swept under the rug but now the issues are more visible and many younger women…

[flagged]

This is very true and sadly our society is still accepting enough of misogyny being a part of common discourse that it can often go unquestioned.

Thankfully we have made some progress in other areas. I can't imagine a thread where someone claims they'd choose not to socialise because they're afraid of non-whites labeling then as racist only to be met with supporters asking "huh, why is this fear irrational?" when they're called out on it.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#274

Post by nibbleshifter »

CalRobert wrote: post #109
AlecSchueler wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...care little about age in the party scene is Madrid. Plenty of nights you're just as likely to be partying with 60 year olds as 25 year olds. Same in Ireland. Funnily enough the party scene there also includes many Spaniards of all ages, as well as an overrepresentation of Greeks and Italians. Wherever I go in Europe, if I go to a party I know it's likely I'll meet someone from one of those four countries there.

Where in Ireland? And to be fair there's loads of Spanish and Brazilian students here (they tell me it's a good place to practice English, or was before the housing crisis), which does help keep the place lively I don't go out a lot but in fairness I remember back in the day seeing plenty of post-60 people up late and out and about.

Galway and Cork at least.

Haven't been out in Galway for a while, but used to run into all ages and nationalities at various music events, licenced and unlicenced.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#275

Post by radihuq »

wheats wrote: post #189
curiousllama wrote: post #135

One thing I observed moving cities recently, and realized has been true for much of my life: there's a pretty small number of people who actually organize things. As the density of your social network naturally decreases, you may have lost a few eigenvector-central social network nodes. Think back to those work parties: were they really spontaneous, or did "Janice in Accounting" always seem to step up? For me, there…

>"The best thing I did was become the shameless type of person who actively tries to create/join/combine social circles. It pretty quickly put me in touch with other people who do the same, and my social circle grew naturally after that." Any advice? That's a hard thing to do!

Check out this book called The 2 Hour Cocktail Party. I used it as structure to host a small get together last week and it was a lot fun!

I think as other comments allude to scheduling can be really hard so its a good idea to start sending out invitations 2-3 weeks in advance. Also don't be afraid to invite old friends - I reconnected with some friends I haven't talked to in 7+ years and it was great

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#276

Post by andai »

I think it's not the age, because I knew plenty of older people (average age 50+) who would socialize regularly. They did go out drinking pretty much every night, and have plenty of parties. I don't know if that's still going on because I don't live there anymore. I'm also not sure if it's possible to replicate this without alcoholism, cannabis or the usual things that bring people together ;)

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#277

Post by logicalmonster »

QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #209
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

As someone who has health problems that forcibly put me in at least a few of those "discretionary lifestyle demands," it's a little condescending for you to just dismiss it later as "neuroticism and anxiety about maintaining purity." The worst is probably COVID-related -- immunocompromised people have been complaining for these past couple of years about how the world just stopped taking COVID seriously and they stil…

> Society is still effectively shut down for them and very few people seem to care.

1) I feel bad for you if you're genuinely sick and at risk, but I'm sure you know that there's a perception out there that many people are trying to milk Covid concerns merely to continue working from home or reaping other benefits that they value: and meantime they go out to restaurants and live life more or less normally. We all saw many of our political leaders who were fear-mongering Covid the worst do that.

2) You have to feel bad for anybody who is scared and feeling isolated, but what else do you want humanity to do? Short of just incinerating the planet, there's no method known to science to eliminate Covid in the wild. We shut down a lot of human activity for years (at massive expense, that we're going to be paying for many years) and even sacrificed part of our children's future to help the most vulnerable. Other than putting humanity in a total economic death spiral (that will be many times worse than Covid) I'm not sure what else can be done to give immunocompromised people a better situation.

3) I don't know how I'd live if I was genuinely immunocompromised, but the really sick people I know such as cancer patients going through chemo who are in/out of hospitals constantly are genuinely trying to go out and live their lives as normally as they can and trying not to be a slave to their illness.

4) Has anything qualitatively changed for immunocompromised people with Covid? Pre-Covid, there was influenza and other diseases that posed some measure of risk to people. Covid seems worse than them and can kill of course, but obviously isn't anywhere near something like Ebola in terms of risk. You're facing maybe a tiny bit more life risk than you would have in say 2018.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#278

Post by vpilcx »

motohagiography wrote: post #265
QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has health problems that forcibly put me in at least a few of those "discretionary lifestyle demands," it's a little condescending for you to just dismiss it later as "neuroticism and anxiety about maintaining purity." The worst is probably COVID-related -- immunocompromised people have been complaining for these past couple of years about how the world just stopped taking COVID seriously and they stil…

A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. It's not condescending if your issues are in fact discretionary. I travel with someone who will die within an hour of exposure to peanuts, regularly spend time with people in their 80's and 90s who have been on deaths door for years, rid…

"Different people have different risk tolerances and people with lower risk tolerances disgust me."

Okay, gotcha.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#279

Post by bakersfield360 »

I'm closing in on 50 as well. Not into sports, nor alcohol, mostly an introvert, and married with 4 kids. I do a weekly date night with my wife, have a monthly lunch recurring-schedule with my 3 closest friends. I also volunteer at church in the local clergy (Bishopric) and am very involved with the church youth, along with a plethora of administrative churchly duties. There are occasional concerts and double dates smattered in there as well. For me, this is very challenging and I don't like adding anything further to the mix. So ultimately unlike you, Rod Kimble, I don't party.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#280

Post by hedora »

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

I think you've rediscovered why the potluck was invented. Maintaining the purity of your bodily fluids by only drinking rain water mixed with pure grain alcohol?

Great, bring some over and talk to the paleo-pesco-vegan about how well it pairs with phish and wild-caught twigs and berries.

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