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Leap: An Online Community for Women

blog.ycombinator.com

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Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#171

Post by ashelmire »

Anticapitalist wrote: post #159
ashelmire wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you work for them? There are many women-only forums and groups, including groups specifically for women in tech, on Facebook, Meetup, etc. By all means, create as many as you'd like, but this post of yours reads like an ad. Edit: Sorry, didn't mean this as an accusation of shilling. I was just somewhat taken aback by the idea that there aren't any other safe spaces on the internet.

It doesn't read like an ad. It reads like the often repeated (and ignored) experience of women in tech.

"There hasn't really been an online forum where I felt safe to have these conversations until now. Now that Leap is here I have other people who get me who I can talk to about the stuff that is bugging me."

If this wasn't written by a copywriter I'll eat my hat.

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#172

Post by cheez »

fruzz wrote: post #169
fortythirteen wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Disclaimer: not in any way attempting to diminish your experience. Only adding my own, to broaden the conversation. It can be a similar experience for men (although it's definitely not something talked about). I've had a female coworker walk up behind me repeatedly and give me unsolicited back rubs and ask me if I wanted to go to an empty office. I've been flirted with and hit on repeatedly. I've had a group of women…

Those experiences are awful. I do not dispute that there are male victims, including in the workplace. I absolutely agree that "People shouldn't do this to other People". That said, women as a group are disproportionately on the receiving end of improper workplace behaviour overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. And you can't address that dynamic without first acknowledging that it exists and putting words to it. And so,…

So the solution is what? To impose solutions on the individual who never would have done anything untoward anyway?

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#173

Post by cheez »

fruzz wrote: post #145
booleandilemma wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A friend was asked out on dates, unsolicited, multiple times by coworkers. I’m a geek and don’t know the first thing about dating, but doesn’t at least one of the parties involved need to receive an unsolicited request? Isn’t that how it works?

Work isn't the place to proposition people for a romantic relationship. At all times, but especially when there's a power dynamic. When that happens, along with a gazillion other little things women are disproportionately on the receiving end of, it has the effect of dissuading women from pursuing their career in the industry.

This is wrongheaded. Work is a fine place to find partners because you are likely to be educated similarly and have similar life goals. You have to be mature in how you handle it though. One of the women I probably loved most in my life I met at work.

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#174

Post by fvdessen »

beat wrote: post #152
fvdessen wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The measurable advantage men have in the tech community What is that advantage and how is it measured ?

Measurement is easy. Just look around you. The majority of people working in tech are men. An even larger majority of its leadership is men. Why is this? There are only two possible causes that I can see - genetic, or cultural. The genetic argument is basically that men are, by nature, better at being programmers and leaders than women - that women are inferior. The cultural argument is that there is a social advanta…

Could it be that the cultural problem is the low social status of IT Work ?

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#175

Post by ashelmire »

turinapple wrote: post #162
ashelmire wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you work for them? There are many women-only forums and groups, including groups specifically for women in tech, on Facebook, Meetup, etc. By all means, create as many as you'd like, but this post of yours reads like an ad. Edit: Sorry, didn't mean this as an accusation of shilling. I was just somewhat taken aback by the idea that there aren't any other safe spaces on the internet.

I don't work for them, I've been a member for many months now and I'm in lots of other women only communities I would speak highly of, too.

So you're saying that there are, in fact, previously existing women only communities where you feel safe having these conversations?

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#176

Post by dang »

asllsa wrote: post #42

So, just to clarify: I, as a man, am being excluded, not because I am unskilled or any other bad quality other than my gender? Your community's design actively fosters hate and exclusion due to something I can not control. I hope your service, and others like it, crashes and burns, because it is a step backwards after we have come so far.

We've banned this account for violating the HN guidelines. Please don't create accounts to do that with.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#177

Post by chrislynch42 »

rev_bird wrote: post #121
chrislynch42 wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As defined by merriam-webster.com I certainly do. Why do we consider all sexism bad?

That's not the real question, you're pretending context doesn't matter. What's your argument? Women say "I enjoy having a place to communicate with other women in a place that feels safe from male interference," and your response is "Let me into the women's bathroom"?

No. Having separate bathrooms for men and women is sexist, by definition. What I hoped for was discussion on whether all sexism is bad.

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#178

Post by iamdave »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #158
booleandilemma wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A friend was asked out on dates, unsolicited, multiple times by coworkers. I’m a geek and don’t know the first thing about dating, but doesn’t at least one of the parties involved need to receive an unsolicited request? Isn’t that how it works?

If it is a setting where asking is potentially problematic -- like work -- it is best to either broach the subject more delicately or don't ask unless you are confident you know the answer is yes. Just asking cold calling style is not the only option for approaching such things.

If it is a setting where asking is potentially problematic -- like work

This is cultural, no? I mean, I have a personal rule of never dating coworkers, but I have friends elsewhere in the world where this isn't such a strange notion.

Re: Leap: An Online Community for Women

#180

Post by fortythirteen »

fruzz wrote: post #169
fortythirteen wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Disclaimer: not in any way attempting to diminish your experience. Only adding my own, to broaden the conversation. It can be a similar experience for men (although it's definitely not something talked about). I've had a female coworker walk up behind me repeatedly and give me unsolicited back rubs and ask me if I wanted to go to an empty office. I've been flirted with and hit on repeatedly. I've had a group of women…

Those experiences are awful. I do not dispute that there are male victims, including in the workplace. I absolutely agree that "People shouldn't do this to other People". That said, women as a group are disproportionately on the receiving end of improper workplace behaviour overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. And you can't address that dynamic without first acknowledging that it exists and putting words to it. And so,…

> That said, women as a group are disproportionately on the receiving end of improper workplace behaviour overwhelmingly perpetrated by men.

Yes, that is definitely the case in places where men outnumber women in positions of power, which is still most businesses. I can tell you, from first hand experience, that when that dynamic is flipped, men, perhaps equally as often, become the more objectified party.

IMO this is an issue of human nature and power dynamics, not the genetic proclivities of any one sex or gender identity. I know that my own experiences made me completely avoid mixing work and "attraction". I suspect that the higher percentage of women facing this abuse and coming to the same conclusion also drives the disparity.

But we don't have to single out men and give offending women a pass, even if it's supposed to be temporary, to solve the problem. "Nobody can do this to anyone and get away with it" also solves the problem without making the non-offending men feel unfairly singled out.

I can tell you, it's extremely frustrating to have people assume that I'm a potential offender, only because of my sex and gender identity when, in fact, I've repeatedly been the victim.

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