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How to make a friend fast

happyturtlethings.net

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Re: How to make a friend fast

#131

Post by Fuzzwah »

rapind wrote: post #79
tucaz wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 78 days and 3 hours into it. There's not a day where I don't miss it, but there are no more cravings at this point. Just the good memories :P Stay strong!

Almost 7 years. You won't think about it unless you smell it... then you miss it a bit, but just a bit. You might put on a few pounds too as you start to actually taste food.

> unless you smell it... then you miss it a bit

I had the opposite response, a while after I quit I found the smell of smoking absolutely repellent.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#132

Post by oskarth »

kome wrote: post #42
camillomiller wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good luck doing that in Germany without being seeing as a weird egomaniac

It works really well in Germany as well, if you do it right. Also Germans are human, after all.

> Also Germans are human, after all.

Don't tell them that, though. You might offend them by insinuating they are feeble and inefficient.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#133

Post by k__ »

"Low ego-identity makes same-sex pairs closer, high ego-identity makes cross-sex pairs closer"

Can confirm. Over the years I minimised the amount of same sex friends in my life dramatically.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#134

Post by jondubois »

flyGuyOnTheSly wrote: post #94

Makes enough sense to me... If you don't know anything about anybody... like the homeless man rummaging through my recycling bin right now looking for bottles... It's easy to look down on them or just write them off. But if a neighbour told me anything about that same man... perhaps that he lost his job last year and thus just tries to supplement his income by picking up bottles in his spare time... I would feel imme…

Lack of resources can make the kindest, most altruistic person behave in extremely ugly, selfish ways.

You don't know who someone is until you see them go through poverty. Also, you don't know who you are yourself until you experience that terrible feeling of scarcity.

For me, greed is the worst human attribute. When I see rich people being greedy, I find it hard to imagine how much worse they would be as human beings if they were poor.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#136

Post by LoSboccacc »

fl0wenol wrote: post #80
donretag wrote: post #31

"Low ego-identity makes same-sex pairs closer, high ego-identity makes cross-sex pairs closer" Perhaps this statement is true, but is the end goal for both parties the same? For some reason, I find myself befriending mainly females (I am male). Yes, I have a high ego. However, I can never tell if the other person is interested in a friendship or something more. I always want to put them in the friend zone, but I have…

Don't bother. You aren't going to enjoy yourself as much long term by surrounding yourself with high-ego people; there'll be too much needless conflict and it won't be worth the emotional effort after the fact. Instead, go for high energy but less ego. At the start deflate your own for their benefit, let your guard down; essentially "putting yourself out". Come down to their level for the first few outings. Once you…

> being difficult and have the group bond over that.

or, the sociopath way, which is even faster: identify the group difficult subject and join the pileup on it without adding new opinions but just reflecting and circulating those of others in the group.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#137

Post by songzme »

WalterGR wrote: post #126
jackvalentine wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's true.

So, and this is honest curiosity re. understanding the HN mindset... why did you go on that tangent when the only thing it shared with the comment you replied to was words in common?

Quite simply, because its fun... and interesting. Its similar to why Gilfoyle hacked the smart fridge.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#138

Post by jondubois »

Mz wrote: post #61

Does that mean that some close, naturally-forming relationships don't get nurtured as lovingly as was achieved in a 45-minute conversation? As one more random data point: I am a chatty extravert. Sometimes people imagine they are close to me when they are not.

As an introvert, I used to get fooled by this in college, I would think that this person was somewhat close when they in fact had 100 other friends in my position... After a while though, you understand that their level of empathy just doesn't measure up to your expectations and you gradually part ways.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#139

Post by thegayngler »

ams6110 wrote: post #29
camillomiller wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good luck doing that in Germany without being seeing as a weird egomaniac

Yeah I'm not German (except by ancestry) and I get really uncomfortable when conversations go like that. Why is this guy trying to convince me he's such a great dad? What's his angle with that? I would definitely not take something like that as a sincere "personal disclosure" from someone I'd never met. I'd take it as more like a greasy salesman tactic.

Have you ever thought that maybe you may be the one with the personality problem? Why would anyone assume the worst of someone else trying to make a good impression on them?

I just try to be as much of myself as I can. No use trying to please people looking to find offense. It's exhausting worrying all of the time about what other people think. It's easier for me to just be myself and make no apologies for it. If they like me great. If they don't, that is fine too. Can't please everyone and don't have the time to focus on pleasing everyone.

Additionally, I am perfectly happy if someone thinks I'm important enough to them that they need to sell themselves to me or would even want to put in the effort to build a personal relationship with me.

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