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How to make a friend fast

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Re: How to make a friend fast

#91

Post by Danihan »

mariodiana wrote: post #50
ams6110 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah I'm not German (except by ancestry) and I get really uncomfortable when conversations go like that. Why is this guy trying to convince me he's such a great dad? What's his angle with that? I would definitely not take something like that as a sincere "personal disclosure" from someone I'd never met. I'd take it as more like a greasy salesman tactic.

I don't know if you're familiar with the title (it's a classic on the subject), but my understanding is that, in China, Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is sold under the title: "The Weaknesses of Human Nature." One more anecdote about that book. In his Playboy interview, Marlon Brando referred to it as "a book on hustling." I bring this up because for some crazy reason, in the United States,…

Most people are nowhere near interesting enough to develop a genuine interest in.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#92

Post by Danihan »

enraged_camel wrote: post #30
ams6110 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah I'm not German (except by ancestry) and I get really uncomfortable when conversations go like that. Why is this guy trying to convince me he's such a great dad? What's his angle with that? I would definitely not take something like that as a sincere "personal disclosure" from someone I'd never met. I'd take it as more like a greasy salesman tactic.

I guess if you're a cynical person you will look for an "angle" in everything people say or do. Living life like that must be miserable.

Or it's extremely soothing because you're never surprised by anyone's selfish intentions...

Re: How to make a friend fast

#93

Post by Danihan »

Mz wrote: post #83
joshlemer wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like you just have a thing against explicitly planning the process of making friends.

No. I just have had very strong, close relationships throughout my life. Talking to someone for a mere 45 minutes is not a big flipping deal. See: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14732892

Maybe not to you. That might be the longest some people have had a conversation all year..

Re: How to make a friend fast

#94

Post by flyGuyOnTheSly »

Makes enough sense to me...

If you don't know anything about anybody... like the homeless man rummaging through my recycling bin right now looking for bottles... It's easy to look down on them or just write them off.

But if a neighbour told me anything about that same man... perhaps that he lost his job last year and thus just tries to supplement his income by picking up bottles in his spare time... I would feel immense sorrow even just looking at that man (who is still a stranger to me). Enough so that I would probably offer him some extra cash and a bite to eat if I had it.

I witnessed a man break into my neighbor's house the other day... which enraged me at first (what if it were my house?!) but when I saw the man who did it... I immediately felt sorry for him.

This was a desperate, dirty, homeless man with a smile on his face as the police dragged him away. He was probably just looking for some shelter to sleep that night.

The house that he "broke into" did admittedly look abandoned. And I found myself trying to justify the reasons that he might have tried to break into the house, rather than hating him silently.

All because I got a look at him.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#95

Post by WalterGR »

jackvalentine wrote: post #76
jacobolus wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t think it was ever common for people to literally use the phrase “steadfast friends”. The word “fast” by itself meant (and still means sometimes) something like steady or firmly stuck. So “fast friends” per se was always a perfectly fine phrase. It hasn’t been shortened from some other form. People trying to explain the origin of the phrase “fast friends” point to the word “steadfast” as an example of where th…

So, my argument was it was a root, not a commonly used word. I was wrong anyway so it's irrelevant. Having actually looked in to this now with a bit more detail than "google it to check your understanding and look at the first result": It appears you're right, and "fast" is derived from faest while steadfast is a combination of steade and... fast. Fast friends is a perfectly cromulent phrase :)

BTW, the person you originally replied to used "fast" as in "quickly," as in the title of this submission.

The "fast friends" etymological discussion is a non sequitur.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#96

Post by raattgift »

tripa wrote: post #19
Fezzik wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Extravert. Extra- meaning out of; outside.

As compared to "introvert"?

Yes, intro- is a Latin prefix meaning "to the inside" while extra- means "to the outside". The "-vert" is from the Latin verb "vertere", meaning "to turn".

Adding Latin prefixes to "vertere" leads to such words as "to avert" (a- from Latin "ab-", meaning "from"), "to evert" (from "ex-" which means "out"; compare "extra-" above), "to invert" (from "in-" meaning "into"; compare "intro-" above); "reverse" (an adjective meaning 'opposite' from "re-" meaning "back"); "transverse" (an adjective meaning 'crosswise' from "trans-" meaning "across"); and so forth.

It's useful to compare "in-" vs "intro-" and "ex-" vs "extra-". The "-tra-" and "-tro-" infixes are essentially the same, but Latin writers and speakers inflected them historically. English inherited this in such words as "introduction", "extradition", "introspection", "extraordinary", and "extravagant".

Finally in modern biological and medicinal jargon it is common to use "intra-" (with an "a") as "within": "intracellular" (within cells; compare with "intercellular", "between cells"), "intradural" (within the dura mater in the spinal cord), "intramolecular" (e.g. internal forces holding together the shape of a molecule, or the atoms a molecule comprises), and so forth. Outside those technical settings, "intra-" is exceedingly rare. One example is "intramural" ("within the walls", usually used to describe a competition between different teams of students at a single school, however the word has use in medicine as well, the walls being those of a cell, blood vessel, or other hollow organ, and the medical use likely came first).

Re: How to make a friend fast

#97

Post by [deleted] »

mcguire wrote: post #53

" These manipulative geniuses chose a handful of university-level psychology classes early in the semester, divided the student volunteers (who didn't know each other) in pairs, and asked them to engage in an exercise designed to increase their closeness. " Psychology is the study of the psychology of psychology undergraduates. " Those with dismissive-avoidant personalities didn't get as close " The dismissive-avoida…

[deleted]

Re: How to make a friend fast

#98

Post by jackvalentine »

WalterGR wrote: post #95
jackvalentine wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So, my argument was it was a root, not a commonly used word. I was wrong anyway so it's irrelevant. Having actually looked in to this now with a bit more detail than "google it to check your understanding and look at the first result": It appears you're right, and "fast" is derived from faest while steadfast is a combination of steade and... fast. Fast friends is a perfectly cromulent phrase :)

BTW, the person you originally replied to used "fast" as in "quickly," as in the title of this submission. The "fast friends" etymological discussion is a non sequitur.

That's true.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#99

Post by xapata »

mistermann wrote: post #88
Mz wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You fear people will imagine you are close? Or you fear people won't feel close to you when you feel close?

Being unable to tell the difference between someone that likes you versus someone who is just being polite, and if you consider them a "friend" and act "accordingly" they would consider you a socially incompetent weirdo.

> consider you ... weirdo

Unlikely. After all, they'd expect you to act the same way as them -- friendly despite not being a friend.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#100

Post by mmmpop »

CiPHPerCoder wrote: post #70

The flowchart in the beginning is very heteronormative. :(

Yeah I'm not sure that's the best way to go about it. Gender plays little-to-no role in being friends with someone. I'm too old to let sexual whatever get in the way (and too committed to the one person that seems to love me just as I am).
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