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Be Kind

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Re: Be Kind

#341

Post by ck425 »

mucker wrote: post #164

Baloney. What we have is a culture that has largely undermined the concept of constructive and well structured argument. One should read the exchanges between friendimies GK Chesterton and George Bernard Shaw. They respected each other and were friendly but if you read their output about each other they would be fired today. Why? We are pansies. We assume, wrongly, that argument about ideas and even light jabs at the…

That would work if people could disregard their feelings and considered only the logic of arguments. But that's not always possible, as much as we try feelings can't always be controlled (though learning to control them is definitely a worthy pursuit). By trying to be kind we're minimising the potential for feelings to get in the way of the logic. Sure it adds overhead but the advantage of this is that opinions and view that might otherwise not get expressed do.

Also how many of those pricks that are often right actually are often right and how many are just so much of a prick no one wants to challenge them?

Re: Be Kind

#342

Post by ck425 »

stonogo wrote: post #184

Having never heard of this person before, I've done about ten minutes of research into who he is and why (in the words of his own about page) I should care. I've come up empty. It seems like he's got enough money now that he feels like engaging in some verbal philanthropy. That's fine, but does anyone have any concrete reasons I should prioritize reading his output over others?

That his article has over a 1000 points on HN is probably a pretty good reason if you tend to enjoy reading HN.

Re: Be Kind

#343

Post by jasonwocky »

oh_sigh wrote: post #201
jasonwocky wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Some ideas deserve to die and you only discover that through _vigorous_ debate. Patently false.

You should provide more insight. I understand that you disagree with the statement, but you aren't really doing anything to prove your point. Granted, the original poster didn't do much to prove their claim either.

I thought it was obvious on its face that "vigorous debate" isn't the "only" way that bad ideas end up dying. In fact, plenty of bad ideas have come out of vigorous debate.

Re: Be Kind

#346

Post by edpichler »

mankyd wrote: post #4

I really like these two paragraphs towards the end: Being kind isn’t the same as being nice. It isn’t about superficial praise. It doesn’t mean dulling your opinions. And it shouldn’t diminish the passion with which you present them. Being kind is fundamentally about taking responsibility for your impact on the people around you. It requires you be mindful of their feelings and considerate of the way your presence af…

This text could be on the down there, on the "Guidelines" of HN.

Re: Be Kind

#347

Post by rootlocus »

doorhammer wrote: post #230
ffn wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, totally this. Moreover, I'd like to add anonymously down-voting / reporting someone's opinion just because it's not yours is just as mean-spirited as calling someone names. Every internet message board has its own culture with its own take on what's "right" and what's "wrong", and on HN (and reddit) the institutionally accepted way of being mean is misusing the downvoting / flagkilling system to attempt to bleep…

It's not much, but when I see posts that are downvoted for no discernable reason (assuming good faith on the poster), I'll usually throw them an upvote to bring them a bit out of grey. It's not much, but if I'm having a crap day and something I say it getting downvoted, I feel a little better when it ticks up a notch, knowing at least one person isn't trying to just bomb my post. It's basically the tiniest little gif…

> It's not much, but if I'm having a crap day and something I say it getting downvoted, I feel a little better when it ticks up a notch, knowing at least one person isn't trying to just bomb my post. It's basically the tiniest little gift I like to give to people, heh.

I think you're too concerned about what strangers think and do around the internet. Most people will "bomb" your subjective side of the argument (the snarky, mean, remarks), and not the underlying idea. I've found out that conveying your arguments while avoiding personal, subjective, attacks is a much better way of getting your point across, since people are more receptive if they don't get the impression they need to be defensive.

Re: Be Kind

#348

Post by ck425 »

zxxz wrote: post #280
pekk wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't agree with you. I don't know what your environment is like, but I notice a lot of people who are pointlessly aggressive and competitive, or who premise their aggression on being right about something they're actually wrong about. That doesn't make these people stronger and it doesn't make the world better. It would work better if everyone just focused on doing their own best job, and constantly checked themse…

Women are not weaker? Ofcourse, physically they are. Otherwise why do we have sport events segregated by sex? There is a reason why they are weaker sex. This one more instance how everyone has been educated/trained to pretend that women are not weaker. And how women are educated to feel offended if they are called weaker sex.

We're talking about this mainly in the context of software development, physical strength is irrelevant to ability and as a dev.

Re: Be Kind

#349

Post by ffaust »

kaeluka wrote: post #318
iamcreasy wrote: post #194

I am an Engineering major(I have been programming since I was 13), and I have a bad habit of over-analyzing everything. I never skim over the details, and I always try to dig into a topic as much as I can to make sure my interpretations are correct. Because of this attitude, I can not enjoy fantasy novels. They ask me to bridge the gap between multiple paragraphs with insufficient information. But at the same time, I…

I needed to learn that others are interesting even though they have nothing to say about what's on my mind right now. From that came everything else.

READ THAT LAST AGAIN.

beautiful. and well put. thank you.

Re: Be Kind

#350

Post by ffaust »

kaeluka wrote: post #318
iamcreasy wrote: post #194

I am an Engineering major(I have been programming since I was 13), and I have a bad habit of over-analyzing everything. I never skim over the details, and I always try to dig into a topic as much as I can to make sure my interpretations are correct. Because of this attitude, I can not enjoy fantasy novels. They ask me to bridge the gap between multiple paragraphs with insufficient information. But at the same time, I…

I needed to learn that others are interesting even though they have nothing to say about what's on my mind right now. From that came everything else.

a suggestion to everyone: read that last comment again.

beautiful. and well put. thank you.

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